Sunday, July 2, 2017

At Least He Wasn't Sleeping in the Park This Time

I hope you're not on Hick overload. But if you are, WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

Hick is simple simply too newsworthy lately! You know how Val is a magnet for weirdos? Well, Hick is a magnet for law enforcement officials!

Thursday night, he went down to Goodwill in Bill-Paying Town in his Toronado. On the way home, he passed under the overpass by the local junior college, and saw a Highway Patrol car up on the ramp. It followed Hick, and pulled up alongside him, and drove along with him. Hick figured The Patrolman was looking at the Toronado. You know, admiring his PIMP CAR, as my sister the ex-mayor's wife politically-incorrectly calls it. Then the patrolman got ahead of him, and went up the ramp at the General Custards exit. But then he came back down the other ramp, following Hick, and turned on his lights. Hick pulled off, and the patrolman said

“Do you know why I stopped you?”

“I have no idea,” said Hick.

“You don’t have tags. You have to have tags.”

“That’s news to me,” said Hick. “I have historic plates.”

“Huh,” said The Patrolman. And walked around to look at the plates some more. “I still think you have to have tags. But I’m not sure. Do you have your log book? You have to have a log book for historic cars when you drive them.”

“I have one, but it’s at home.” Hick DOES have one, he says, but he hasn’t written in it in a while. Now he says he’s going to start, making sure to note that ‘June 29, 2017, stopped by highway patrol and asked about tags.’ I wonder if he wrote in it after being given a ticket for no seatbelt when driving it to a nearby town with Genius in it. I’m pretty sure he was along, and that HE was actually wearing a seat belt. Unless Hick changed the details to protect the guilty. Which was HIM.

Anyhoo…The Patrolman asked for the registration and insurance, and Hick gave them to him, and of course said about the insurance, “I’m surprised it’s not expired.” Meaning the card, of course, because I ALWAYS pay the insurance. Hick’s his own worst enemy sometimes, if you don't count ME. But The Patrolman said everything was in order.

“I’m not going to write you a ticket or a warning for the tags. You’ve had those plates since 1999. You might have been grandfathered in.”

Hick said he acted like he was doing him a big favor, but “No way could he write me a ticket for anything, because HE didn’t even know if I was supposed to have tags!”

Sigh. Another time Hick has avoided the Cross-Bars Hilton. 

16 comments:

  1. Val--If he ever DOES have to go to jail, please let me know, because I'll be glad to rush and post his bail... I don't want him to be away from home any longer than necessary.

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    1. You are so SELFLESS, Madam, when it comes to me being without Hick. Hang onto that bail money for now. It may be needed for a private nurse as Hick convalesces from his butt injury.

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  2. At least he didn't get a ticket.

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    1. That he admitted to me, anyway.

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  3. Wait...does he need tags? What does the law say? Don't leave us hanging.

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    1. If motorhead Hick doesn't know, and if the State Highway Patrolman doesn't know...how is a simple Val like ME supposed to know? I doubt either one of them has looked it up yet.

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  4. The good old 'Do you know why I stopped you' question. All in all a good story to chuckle at. Greetings to you and nice week!

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    1. It's almost like a trick question! One of them asked ME one time, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

      And I said, "Pretty fast." Can you believe I got a TICKET?

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  5. As long as Hick stays out of the "Hoosgow" then everything should be OK....Right?

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    1. I would love Hick just as much (if not MORE) if he was IN the hoosegow. You know what they say about absence...

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  6. Replies
    1. Let the record show that I learned the "Cross-Bars Hilton" term from Hick.

      It should have been a clue, the fact that he talked about jail enough to have a special term for it.

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  7. He's not on the 10 most wanted list yet, is he?

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    1. I'm not sure. I haven't been inside the dead mouse smelling post office to check their posters.

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  8. Tags for historic plates? News to me, but then what I know about cars would fit on the head of a pin, with room to spare.

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    1. And you might still know more than me!

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