Monday, December 8, 2014

My Mom, the Tangled-Web Weaver

So here's another tale of intrigue my mom found herself in the middle of.

She has been under orders not to get out of bed without a member of the hospital staff present. They even had one of those car alarm things on her bed. so that if she got up, sirens went off and people had to run in and check on her. Not that she tried to make a run for it.

Her chart was amended to show that Mom could walk to the bathroom using a walker, as long as a staffer was there to make sure she didn't fall. This was no secret chart, but written in dry erase marker on the wall chart beside the bed. On Friday, a staffer let Mom into the bathroom. Always compliant, Mom asked, "Do I pull this red chain when I'm ready to come out?"

The staffer said, "Aww...you've been doing so well, you can go back to your chair as long as you're using your walker." Let the record show that they had already been letting Mom step from her bed to her chair without using a cane or a walker, and had removed the car alarm from her bed.

Mom finished her business, and opened up the bathroom door. THERE WAS THE SUPERVISOR OF THE WHOLE CRITICAL CARE REHAB UNIT! Mom said this lady is scary. I picture her as that spinster-woman bicycling alongside Dorothy's flying house with Toto in the basket.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Oh. Um. I'm just walking over to my chair. I've been doing so good. Downstairs in therapy, they let me do a lap without anybody beside me. Everybody says I'm doing really well."

"You are NOT to be walking unsupervised. I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

As Mom said, she didn't rat out that staffer because, "She's just so niiiice. I didn't want to get her in trouble. But apparently it became the talk of the hospital. The next time I went down to therapy, the girl taking me said, 'So what went on there when you were walking back from the bathroom?' And I told her, 'Oh, it was not a big deal. I asked if I should pull that cord, and the lady said I could just go right back to my chair.' And ALL AT ONCE THAT SUPERVISOR APPEARED! And she said, 'So now we know who did it. It will be very easy to check the schedule and see who was working that morning.'"

"MOM! She was setting you up! Surely you know that! It's like TEACHERS, Mom! How we say, 'Oh, really? I hadn't heard that. Then what happened?' And the minute we get the details, we're off to tell the principal. She was not asking to make conversation. She set you up!"

"Well, I wasn't thinking like that. I was afraid I was in trouble. Anyway, I think they don't like that lady, and they're looking for a way to get rid of her."

"And you're caught in the middle."

Mom has woven herself quite a tangled web.

5 comments:

  1. Interesting that your mom thought SHE was in trouble. These hospital people work for her if she's the one paying the bills or using her insurance.

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  2. No, I think your mother is the tasty fly, all wrapped up in the spider's web (the staffer is wrapped up as well) and the spider...well, the spider is that supervisor.

    I hope your mom can escape the silken threads that bind her before the spider devours her...

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  3. Your moms going to be upset if someone gets i trouble. I hope this all settles down with out any more problems.

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  4. I had the same vision of the wicked supervisor. Your poor mom is going to fret her blood pressure high. When my hubby was hospitalized, he was upset because they put an alarm on his bed because he's "old" a nurse told him. She apologized by disabling the alarm. No persnickety supervisors were ever around to catch his nightgown flapping in the breeze/

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  5. Stephen,
    They work for her twice! She has TWO insurances!

    *****
    Sioux,
    Ooh! I see that bicycle-spinster-Toto-lady's face taking the place of Jeff Goldblum's in The Fly! Never mind that you see her as a spider. Mom will be fine. She, like Popeye with his spinach, has her SLAW.

    *****
    joeh,
    Mom will take the fall. Not literally, I hope.

    *****
    Linda,
    She should know better than to say he's old. I believe the proper term is "youth-challenged."

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