Saturday, December 13, 2014

Another Vignette From Val's Thrilling Life

The following exchange occurred during The Great Frig Replacement Shopping Expedition.

"It's already 2:24. The Pony must be starving. I promised we would bring him a Rally's burger when we return."

"Okay. Which way do I go?"

"Turn left at the light. Then right at the next one. I'll have a burger, too. That Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie that I had with my medicine at 7:15 did not stick to my ribs like a sausage biscuit."

"Well, I didn't have a sausage biscuit, either."

"You mean to tell me that you left for work, and have not had a thing to eat all day?"

"No. I stopped at Hardee's for a sausage biscuit on the way to work."

"Wait a minute. You just said you didn't have a sausage biscuit, either."

"I meant from our freezer."

"Oh. So you're not hungry."

"I could eat a burger."

"The Pony ate a bunch of Chex Mix before we left, and then in town I picked up a sausage biscuit for him and my mom. But I didn't have one."

"That's your own fault. You should have got one."

"Um. I was driving. AND going in and out of stores looking for the elusive Frigidaire Professional side-by-side."

"Huh."

Yes. Hick has no sympathy for the sausage-biscuitless crowd. Especially now that he's hoarding them in the old refrigerator over in his BARn.

6 comments:

  1. Hmmm...I was waiting for you to end this by calling Hick a "Jerk."

    No plagiarism from the Dictorian.

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  2. I don't care for sausage biscuits, but have you tried the Burger King Croissant sausage breakfast? Yum!

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  3. I still like Jack in the Box Breakfast Jacks. Simple and cheap.

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  4. You know, old refrigerators are dangerous. People can crawl in/get shoved in, the doors close and... Ooopsy.

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  5. joeh,
    He wasn't yet approaching jerkdom. That came later. And today.

    *****
    Kathy,
    Or getting used to a new one, I'm sure.

    *****
    Stephen,
    I have not. Burger King is not on our morning drive. We pass right by Hardee's. And the drive-thru liquor store. Hick swears they have sandwiches, but I have never investigated.

    *****
    Catalyst,
    Jack in the Box makes me nervous. Their drive-thru is a one-way ticket to not-heaven. Once you're in, you can't get out. They have concrete sides that even my T-Hoe can't scale. I don't like being trapped. Even in a drive-thru line. If I can't pull out of line at will, forget it. If I ever go inside, I might check out the Breakfast Jack. Even though I am still suffering post-traumatic stress from that Munchie Meal commercial.

    *****
    Sioux,
    WHAT? Why are you telling ME that? Do you know something? Should the garage have my back? Hick is the one who had them put Frig on the front porch. Does he have a plan to knock me off? Is it all because he's a secret mystery writer and needs a plot? Heavens to Betsy! Now I shan't sleep a wink.

    Because I would never ever think of harming a single solitary hair on Hick's head. Except for that time I threw a roll of toilet paper at him. He was being a jerk that day. Joe needs to watch out.

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