This is Why We Can't Have Fresh Deviled Eggs

We used to get 14 eggs a day from out little flock of chickens. Lately, it has been two or three a day. I know that during the winter, laying drops off. But I think I have discovered another reason for our chicken-fruit decline.

Mid-morning, I saw Ann the black lab/shepherd mix sitting under the leafless lilac bush. Something seemed odd. Suspicious. She turned to chew on her tail for a minute. I couldn't really catch her at anything. As we got ready to run to town for a 44 oz. Diet Coke, The Pony announced that Ann had an egg. During the drive, I expounded upon my theory that Ann was eating the eggs as fast as the chickens could lay them. Since those darn chickens roam around the yard and porch, rarely entering their custom-made chicken house, Ann thinks the egg situation is finders keepers. That's why she has grown so portly of late, on the same dry food ration as always.

The Pony argued that if Ann is eating all those eggs, one would at least expect her coat to be glossy and shiny. I know what he was doing. Taking Hick's side in the great Juno is the devil on four legs debate. Seriously. Just because she has a beautiful silky coat does not mean that Juno is an egg-eater. German shepherds have course undercoats. Ann looks mostly like a german shepherd. Even though her lab side makes her stack food scraps such as bread slices and chicken strips like casino chips before wandering off to enjoy them.

The Pony and I returned home from town around noon. "Hey, look. Ann is on the porch with her egg." Indeed, she was. She picked it up and backed away when she saw me staring at her. Then she tended it all afternoon. Quite a tender retrieving mouth she has, not to damage a fresh homegrown egg. Those things are fragile. Like...like...eggshells.

Here she is contemplating her next move.

Don't let her unkempt fur and laid-back ears fool you. She's an egg-eater. See it there in her mouth? That tasty brown fresh egg from a free-range chicken?

My dear sweet much-maligned Juno wanted some of the action. No dice from the casino-chip-stacking queen. I'm sure there was some posturing going on here. Too bad my blog does not have growl-a-vision. No way would my dear sweet Juno stand at attention like that, so still, unless contemplating a coup. Please disregard her glossy coat. I'm sure it's due to her presumed border collie genes.

Contrary to the retina-incinerating brightness of that photo, they are in the front yard again under the lilac twigs, not on the surface of the sun. The Pony's phone camera must have issues. But it still captured the brown egg in Ann's mouth.

No rest for the wicked weary. Ann needed a midday siesta. Yet she could not leave her purloined egg unattended. What's an egg-thief to do? Well...use the egg for a pillow, of course.

The provocateur Ann has chosen the part of the yard in which my dear sweet Juno is wont to roll and cavort with her assorted toys and random animal bones.

With Ann so preoccupied today with that one egg, Hick reported a harvest of five from about the grounds this evening. I don't need a private investigator to tell me what's going on here.