When we last convened, my BPhF Nexy (Best Phone Forever, LG Nexus 7) was hooked up to life support on the back counter of the Sprint store over in Bill-Paying Town. Go-Getter Gal, the apparent boss of the office, was tending to him intermittently, while helping me set up an account for my new used iPhone 8.
GGG would step back and pick up Nexy tenderly. Then squeeze the bejeebers out of his power button, and jam the charging connector up his nether region.
"I think you might have a bad charger connection. Or a bad battery. You could go up to Interstate Battery. They might have something you can use. Wait!"
I saw it with my own two eyes! The screen came on, with all my colorful apps! But as soon as we exclaimed our joy, it disappeared. Back to black. Never to be seen again.
"Well. I DID notice that when it was on, it was in SAFE MODE. It just wouldn't stay on long enough for me to take it OUT of safe mode. And the battery showed it was charged to 97 percent. So that's not it. You might have a bad screen. I just don't think I can help you with it, but we'll plug it back in and try again later."
She was very helpful, that cheerful GGG. She got my account set up, doing it for me, to save time with my single-finger typing. Got my security questions. Wrote down my answers on a notepad for me to take along. THEN TOOK A PICTURE OF IT!
"Wait. Why are you doing that?"
"To store it in your phone. People are always forgetting. Then we can't help them when they come in. So you'll always have it, in the pictures on your phone."
Um. That did not set well with me, but I let it go. Also, she didn't capitalize any of the answers, like a pet name or street name.
"Okay, so when you put them in, you didn't capitalize them?"
"No. Why would I do that? It's just awkward to capitalize stuff."
Huh. Maybe THAT'S why people can't get into their phones! They're capitalizing those names that GGG entered sans capitalization! Just a theory. Nothing proven. Young adults these days...
GGG even found the app I needed for The Pony's remote financial deposits, and downloaded that for me. She was pleasant and helpful, while NotBoot sat there, having done his part by selling me the phone after saying he didn't have one, and trying to overcharge me with an unwanted protection plan. He was pleasant enough. Made small talk with Hick about his grandpa's tractor.
After about an hour, standing the whole time, I was more than ready to get out of there with my new used too-heavy too-small too-slippery iPhone 8. I thanked GGG profusely for her assistance. Hick said, "You oughta buy her lunch for all the help she gave you!"
"You have the money," I said. Picking up my purse that was bursting with my unspent Stay-At-Home-Down week's cash allowance.
"Here!" said Hick. Tossing a wad of bills across the counter to Go-Getter Gal. "Have lunch on us."
All the while, NotBoot sat there forlornly behind his recently booted computer.
"Well, that's not fair! He helped us too!"
"I don't have no more money. Nine dollars was all I had!"
"Oh. I guess you'll have to share, then! Get something you both can eat."
I bet those two were never so happy as when Hick and I finally pulled out of the parking space, and they were certain that we would not be coming back.
We never did get Nexy to wake up. I'll pack him in a cardboard box and mail him to Genius, who loves to get elbow-deep in a torn-open cell phone. Nexy cannot be popped open, like my old phone, which would spill its guts every time I dropped it on the garage floor, battery shooting one way, back cover the other. Which I guess was a good thing, because he never broke, what with the exploding parts absorbing the force.
Genius doesn't remember if Nexy has a SIM card. There's nothing around his perimeter that would suggest he has one. He's sealed up tighter than Fort Knox. Maybe tighter, if my conspiracies are true...
Anyhoo...for the sake of time and your eye health, the story of Genius's Val and iPhone Boot Camp will have to wait until SUNDAY. At least you'll have some weekend entertainment.
Friday, April 10, 2020
Thursday, April 9, 2020
I Carried the Corpse in My Purse
Farewell, LG Nexus 7. I hardly knew (how to operate) ye. Our five or six years together are surely memorable. I think. With our photos lost, I can't be certain.
I tried to revive Nexy all through the night. Hooked him up to a lifeline on the kitchen counter. When I went to bed around 4:00 a.m., I saw no signs of life. I pulled the plug.
When I got up at 9:30, I gave Nexy one more try, suggested by Dr. Google. To plug in, and immediately press the START and VOLUME DOWN buttons. Hallelujah! I got some red writing on the screen! I volumed-down to the BOOT LOAD selection. Got a START arrow. Pressed the START button. Got a lime green robot, lying on his back, with his belly flapped open. Then the four colorful Google circle thingies spinning. Oh, I had hope alright!
Sadly, removing the power and immediately reconnecting, per Dr. Google, all I could get after an hour was the big white battery. When we arrived in Bill-Paying Town at the Sprint store, Nexy's possibly last-gasping corpse in my purse, he appeared deader than a doornail. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
NOBODY was in the Sprint store. Just me and Hick and a dog named Boo--no it wasn't! Me and Hick and a young man who had to boot up his computer, having been open for 45 minutes already, but unprepared for business.
I told him immediately what I wanted. An iPhone 8. Genius's recommendation, at a cost of $450. A simple little phone for Val. No bells and whistles needed.
Young NotBoot said he didn't have any.
WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN?
"My son looked it up last night, through our Sprint account, for your store. It showed AVAILABLE. I looked it up myself, on your website. It showed AVAILABLE. If you don't have one, we'll go somewhere else."
I took back my 99%-departed Nexy. My last billing statement. Turned on my heel. Had Hick call Genius, to see if he thought the Samsung Galaxy A50 android for $350 would be acceptable. He said it was up to me. Along with a few choice words concerning NotBoot. While I was way over at the door talking to Genius (that place was the size of half a tennis court), Hick hollered,
"They found one!"
Well. How conveeeeeeenient! NotBoot had consulted a Go-Getter Gal in the back room, and she found an iPhone 8. Though it was refurbished, or whatever they call their trade-ins. I asked Genius if that would be acceptable. He said it would, as long as it wasn't "all crappy with scratches." It was not.
Wanting to get it over with, and not order online and not know how to work anything when I took it out of the box, I brandished the body of Nexy again, to see if maybe they could extract his entrails for transplant into the iPhone 8. More on that attempt tomorrow.
The price of the used iPhone 8 was $240. Reasonable enough. Of course NotBoot reiterated that he could not sell me the phone outright, that I would have to lease it. The nearest Sprint store that could sell us a phone (where Hick got his last phone) is near the city, and CLOSED right now. So I agreed to the lease for 18 months at $10 a month, with the last $60 due after that. NotBoot assured me that I COULD pay off my lease early, online. He actually said I could do it on my phone (!!!!!), but obviously my reputation had not preceded me.
Anyhoo...NotBoot did some fast-talking, and said he was putting it on my bill blah blah blah, and that would be $15 per month. REEEEE! Hick and I cut eyes.
"Wait! What did you say you were putting on there?"
"You phone, and the protection plan--"
"No. I don't need a protection plan. Take that off! You said $10 a month, and that's what I'm paying. I barely use a phone. If I break it, I'll buy another one."
"Well, you'll have to still pay off the lease on the broken one before you can get another phone."
"Not a problem. I wanted to buy it outright to begin with! No protection plan."
Man! You gotta watch those "young a$$holes," as Hick refers to them.
Once the fingertip signature circus was over, Go-Getter Gal began ministering to Nexy. If she'd held a mirror to his virtual lips, I would not have wagered a weekend penny that Nexy could have fogged it up. That will be tomorrow's tale, along with Genius's Val and iPhone Boot Camp.
I know this isn't the most exciting of cliffhangers. But then again, what else do you have to do? You're a literal captive audience!
I tried to revive Nexy all through the night. Hooked him up to a lifeline on the kitchen counter. When I went to bed around 4:00 a.m., I saw no signs of life. I pulled the plug.
When I got up at 9:30, I gave Nexy one more try, suggested by Dr. Google. To plug in, and immediately press the START and VOLUME DOWN buttons. Hallelujah! I got some red writing on the screen! I volumed-down to the BOOT LOAD selection. Got a START arrow. Pressed the START button. Got a lime green robot, lying on his back, with his belly flapped open. Then the four colorful Google circle thingies spinning. Oh, I had hope alright!
Sadly, removing the power and immediately reconnecting, per Dr. Google, all I could get after an hour was the big white battery. When we arrived in Bill-Paying Town at the Sprint store, Nexy's possibly last-gasping corpse in my purse, he appeared deader than a doornail. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
NOBODY was in the Sprint store. Just me and Hick and a dog named Boo--no it wasn't! Me and Hick and a young man who had to boot up his computer, having been open for 45 minutes already, but unprepared for business.
I told him immediately what I wanted. An iPhone 8. Genius's recommendation, at a cost of $450. A simple little phone for Val. No bells and whistles needed.
Young NotBoot said he didn't have any.
WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN?
"My son looked it up last night, through our Sprint account, for your store. It showed AVAILABLE. I looked it up myself, on your website. It showed AVAILABLE. If you don't have one, we'll go somewhere else."
I took back my 99%-departed Nexy. My last billing statement. Turned on my heel. Had Hick call Genius, to see if he thought the Samsung Galaxy A50 android for $350 would be acceptable. He said it was up to me. Along with a few choice words concerning NotBoot. While I was way over at the door talking to Genius (that place was the size of half a tennis court), Hick hollered,
"They found one!"
Well. How conveeeeeeenient! NotBoot had consulted a Go-Getter Gal in the back room, and she found an iPhone 8. Though it was refurbished, or whatever they call their trade-ins. I asked Genius if that would be acceptable. He said it would, as long as it wasn't "all crappy with scratches." It was not.
Wanting to get it over with, and not order online and not know how to work anything when I took it out of the box, I brandished the body of Nexy again, to see if maybe they could extract his entrails for transplant into the iPhone 8. More on that attempt tomorrow.
The price of the used iPhone 8 was $240. Reasonable enough. Of course NotBoot reiterated that he could not sell me the phone outright, that I would have to lease it. The nearest Sprint store that could sell us a phone (where Hick got his last phone) is near the city, and CLOSED right now. So I agreed to the lease for 18 months at $10 a month, with the last $60 due after that. NotBoot assured me that I COULD pay off my lease early, online. He actually said I could do it on my phone (!!!!!), but obviously my reputation had not preceded me.
Anyhoo...NotBoot did some fast-talking, and said he was putting it on my bill blah blah blah, and that would be $15 per month. REEEEE! Hick and I cut eyes.
"Wait! What did you say you were putting on there?"
"You phone, and the protection plan--"
"No. I don't need a protection plan. Take that off! You said $10 a month, and that's what I'm paying. I barely use a phone. If I break it, I'll buy another one."
"Well, you'll have to still pay off the lease on the broken one before you can get another phone."
"Not a problem. I wanted to buy it outright to begin with! No protection plan."
Man! You gotta watch those "young a$$holes," as Hick refers to them.
Once the fingertip signature circus was over, Go-Getter Gal began ministering to Nexy. If she'd held a mirror to his virtual lips, I would not have wagered a weekend penny that Nexy could have fogged it up. That will be tomorrow's tale, along with Genius's Val and iPhone Boot Camp.
I know this isn't the most exciting of cliffhangers. But then again, what else do you have to do? You're a literal captive audience!
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Death Knocked at Val's Door, and Let Himself In
MY PHONE IS DEAD! Not only merely dead, it's really most sincerely dead!
Oh, I tried various revival techniques, courtesy of Dr. Google. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkis. Not even a call to my electronic miracle worker, Genius, could save the patient. I tried his "plug it in all night" advice. I think that might be akin to me turning a malfunctioning electronic gewgaw off, then on. Or using System Restore when my computer goes on the fritz. It doesn't really do anything but make me feel in control. And sometimes coincidences make it seem like I've fixed it.
Anyhoo... with Hick driving his friend to the hospital, and me without a cell phone, I had to rely on contacting Genius by email! Sure, I have a landline. But that's LONG DISTANCE to call Pittsburgh! I waited until noon, and sent the email. Genius is working from home now, designing the driverless car, but I thought he could spare time on his unofficial lunch hour to call me. Apparently, he could not! I had to send another email after 6:00. Genius dutifully called.
"Well, that phone is at least five years old. You can order one online."
"THEN what will I do? I don't know how to set up a phone!"
"I can talk you through it."
"I looked up the Sprint stores, and the one over in Bill-Paying Town is open! Reduced hours, from 11:00 to 6:00, but it's OPEN! Can't I just get one there, and they can set it up for me?"
"You can. It's risking your life, but you can."
"Dad says they're all young smarta$$es in there anyway! According to our local tally, only 9 people in that town have the VIRUS, and I figure they won't be working in the Sprint store. I can stand 6 feet away and make a transaction. I wash my hands! Or Dad says the best way would be to order a phone and have it sent to you, and you could set it up and send it to me. But that's a lot of time."
"It would be easier for you to get it at the store. They'll set it up."
"So when I walk out, I'll have a phone that works, with all my stuff on it?"
"Well, if your phone is dead, it won't have all your stuff on it. No. But you can mail the old one to me, and I'll see if I can find a sim card and get your pictures."
"I looked online, and found a phone that they have in stock. It's a Samsung, for about $192. I don't need anything fancy. I only call, text, and take pictures. I don't play games or do internet searches or watch videos on it."
"Well, good luck with THAT. It will probably only last you a year. Those cheap ones aren't that good. You'd be better off getting an old iPhone."
"I don't know how to use an iPhone! And how will I send money to The Pony? That app was on my phone!"
"You'll have to get the app again. If you already had a password and account, all you have to do is sign in when you get it. It will work the same way. You'll love an iPhone, once you get used to it. In about a week, you'll have it mastered."
"Wait! I'm trying not to cry and laugh at the same time. A WEEK? That's for a normal person! It would take ME six months!"
"Oh, come on. Send me that phone link, and I'll look some up, and then email you back with the choices."
He did.
"That phone you found is crap. Forget about it. Here's a Samsung A50 for an android, and the iPhone 8. They will both require you to learn how to use them. I included a link to an iPhone instructional video. It's two hours long. You don't have to watch the whole thing now. Just take a look, and see if it would help you. The iPhone is $100 more, but I would be willing to pay that $100 just to make you get it!"
"Speaking of that, we are STILL PAYING FOR YOUR PHONE on our bill!"
"Yeah. And?"
"Well, I don't mind it myself. But Dad brings it up every now and then. Usually when he talks about how you're rolling in dough. He says, 'That boy can afford to pay for his own phone!'"
"I could. Yes. But I haven't switched it to my own account, because IT'S SUCH A GOOD DEAL that we have grandfathered in! I can't find another deal like that anywhere!"
"I figure it's worth it, to pay the $20 fee having your phone on our bill, just to have you on call for all my phone and computer problems. Or maybe it's $40, now that you don't have the Garmin discount, since you have a work phone provided by OOBER."
"That's a fair trade-off. I'm okay with that."
Are you sure on the prices? I couldn't make it give me a purchase price. It said "may vary." Only showed the lease price."
"I was logged into the Sprint website. It showed me if I hovered over the lease price."
"What's our password now? It makes me change every time I log in. Okay. Let me write that down."
"Or you COULD use a password manager..."
"No way! I don't want all my passwords saved in one place for someone to steal!"
"Mom! It doesn't work like that."
"That's what YOU say!"
"Okay. I could explain it to you, and you wouldn't understand. Or you can just believe me, with my four years for a college degree and three years of working IN THE COMPUTER FIELD!"
"I'll look at these phones, and talk to Dad, and send you an email in the morning before we go, to let you know what I'm doing."
"Do I need to call YOU, and give you a pep talk to make sure you get the iPhone?"
"Maybe..."
By the time you read this, Hick and I will be breaking Stay-At-Home-Down to venture to the Sprint store. While we're out, we might pick up some takeout food. AND I might throw caution to the wind, and get a 44 oz Diet Coke and scratchers.
Don't judge! I made it a week. I can make it another week, after driving by the post office to drop off letters, pick up medicine at my pharmacy, and grocery shop at customer-limiting Country Mart on Thursday. Then I'll stay home for another solid week, and learn my new iPhone. If all goes right...
Oh, I tried various revival techniques, courtesy of Dr. Google. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkis. Not even a call to my electronic miracle worker, Genius, could save the patient. I tried his "plug it in all night" advice. I think that might be akin to me turning a malfunctioning electronic gewgaw off, then on. Or using System Restore when my computer goes on the fritz. It doesn't really do anything but make me feel in control. And sometimes coincidences make it seem like I've fixed it.
Anyhoo... with Hick driving his friend to the hospital, and me without a cell phone, I had to rely on contacting Genius by email! Sure, I have a landline. But that's LONG DISTANCE to call Pittsburgh! I waited until noon, and sent the email. Genius is working from home now, designing the driverless car, but I thought he could spare time on his unofficial lunch hour to call me. Apparently, he could not! I had to send another email after 6:00. Genius dutifully called.
"Well, that phone is at least five years old. You can order one online."
"THEN what will I do? I don't know how to set up a phone!"
"I can talk you through it."
"I looked up the Sprint stores, and the one over in Bill-Paying Town is open! Reduced hours, from 11:00 to 6:00, but it's OPEN! Can't I just get one there, and they can set it up for me?"
"You can. It's risking your life, but you can."
"Dad says they're all young smarta$$es in there anyway! According to our local tally, only 9 people in that town have the VIRUS, and I figure they won't be working in the Sprint store. I can stand 6 feet away and make a transaction. I wash my hands! Or Dad says the best way would be to order a phone and have it sent to you, and you could set it up and send it to me. But that's a lot of time."
"It would be easier for you to get it at the store. They'll set it up."
"So when I walk out, I'll have a phone that works, with all my stuff on it?"
"Well, if your phone is dead, it won't have all your stuff on it. No. But you can mail the old one to me, and I'll see if I can find a sim card and get your pictures."
"I looked online, and found a phone that they have in stock. It's a Samsung, for about $192. I don't need anything fancy. I only call, text, and take pictures. I don't play games or do internet searches or watch videos on it."
"Well, good luck with THAT. It will probably only last you a year. Those cheap ones aren't that good. You'd be better off getting an old iPhone."
"I don't know how to use an iPhone! And how will I send money to The Pony? That app was on my phone!"
"You'll have to get the app again. If you already had a password and account, all you have to do is sign in when you get it. It will work the same way. You'll love an iPhone, once you get used to it. In about a week, you'll have it mastered."
"Wait! I'm trying not to cry and laugh at the same time. A WEEK? That's for a normal person! It would take ME six months!"
"Oh, come on. Send me that phone link, and I'll look some up, and then email you back with the choices."
He did.
"That phone you found is crap. Forget about it. Here's a Samsung A50 for an android, and the iPhone 8. They will both require you to learn how to use them. I included a link to an iPhone instructional video. It's two hours long. You don't have to watch the whole thing now. Just take a look, and see if it would help you. The iPhone is $100 more, but I would be willing to pay that $100 just to make you get it!"
"Speaking of that, we are STILL PAYING FOR YOUR PHONE on our bill!"
"Yeah. And?"
"Well, I don't mind it myself. But Dad brings it up every now and then. Usually when he talks about how you're rolling in dough. He says, 'That boy can afford to pay for his own phone!'"
"I could. Yes. But I haven't switched it to my own account, because IT'S SUCH A GOOD DEAL that we have grandfathered in! I can't find another deal like that anywhere!"
"I figure it's worth it, to pay the $20 fee having your phone on our bill, just to have you on call for all my phone and computer problems. Or maybe it's $40, now that you don't have the Garmin discount, since you have a work phone provided by OOBER."
"That's a fair trade-off. I'm okay with that."
Are you sure on the prices? I couldn't make it give me a purchase price. It said "may vary." Only showed the lease price."
"I was logged into the Sprint website. It showed me if I hovered over the lease price."
"What's our password now? It makes me change every time I log in. Okay. Let me write that down."
"Or you COULD use a password manager..."
"No way! I don't want all my passwords saved in one place for someone to steal!"
"Mom! It doesn't work like that."
"That's what YOU say!"
"Okay. I could explain it to you, and you wouldn't understand. Or you can just believe me, with my four years for a college degree and three years of working IN THE COMPUTER FIELD!"
"I'll look at these phones, and talk to Dad, and send you an email in the morning before we go, to let you know what I'm doing."
"Do I need to call YOU, and give you a pep talk to make sure you get the iPhone?"
"Maybe..."
By the time you read this, Hick and I will be breaking Stay-At-Home-Down to venture to the Sprint store. While we're out, we might pick up some takeout food. AND I might throw caution to the wind, and get a 44 oz Diet Coke and scratchers.
Don't judge! I made it a week. I can make it another week, after driving by the post office to drop off letters, pick up medicine at my pharmacy, and grocery shop at customer-limiting Country Mart on Thursday. Then I'll stay home for another solid week, and learn my new iPhone. If all goes right...
Tuesday, April 7, 2020
Val Is Slowly Losing Her Will to Blog
Here I am, trapped in my own home, no casinos, no scratchers, no daily 44 oz Diet Coke, shopping requiring a wait in a strung-out line to even buy groceries, a rotting hole in an infected blister on my leg and unable to see a doctor, and FORCED TOGETHERNESS with Hick. I was handling the situation. Keeping my sunny rainbows-and-unicorns disposition. Making the best of it. Until...
MY CELL PHONE DIED!
That's right. I'm pretty sure Hick had something to do with it. I was sitting on the short couch, having just gotten my phone back from Hick's meaty hand, after showing him a picture of the sourdough bread Genius made. I was merely sweeping my fingers together, shrinking down that picture, when the screen of my phone went black.
No amount of effort nor cajoling could bring it back. Sure, my cell phone is mighty long-in-the-tooth. It's a Nexus LG 7, I think. Something like that. When it came out, Genius waited extra time to get the BLUE version, rather than white or black. It's always looked GRAY to me. But he swore it was blue. Genius used it a couple years before he took our new phone offer for himself, and gave his old one to me. That thing's gotta be over 7 years old.
Anyhoo...Hick put in an emergency text to Genius. Who was busy watching a movie (!) and said he'd get back to me. When he called (on the house phone, good thing I didn't get rid of the landline), he said:
"Sometimes the older phones do that. The battery will go dead all at once, even if it shows 40 or 50% power remaining. It might actually be dead. You can try plugging it in to charge all night. Then we'll work from there if it's still dead. It's not like you can run out to the Sprint Store and get another one these days. If it's dead, you can order one online."
"I don't know how to make a new phone work!"
"Calm down. We'll deal with it."
I searched online, and found two possible fixes for it. I'll try them tomorrow, if the charging doesn't work. Can't hurt nothin'.
I'd rather have something go REALLY GOOD in my life, and blog about THAT.
MY CELL PHONE DIED!
That's right. I'm pretty sure Hick had something to do with it. I was sitting on the short couch, having just gotten my phone back from Hick's meaty hand, after showing him a picture of the sourdough bread Genius made. I was merely sweeping my fingers together, shrinking down that picture, when the screen of my phone went black.
No amount of effort nor cajoling could bring it back. Sure, my cell phone is mighty long-in-the-tooth. It's a Nexus LG 7, I think. Something like that. When it came out, Genius waited extra time to get the BLUE version, rather than white or black. It's always looked GRAY to me. But he swore it was blue. Genius used it a couple years before he took our new phone offer for himself, and gave his old one to me. That thing's gotta be over 7 years old.
Anyhoo...Hick put in an emergency text to Genius. Who was busy watching a movie (!) and said he'd get back to me. When he called (on the house phone, good thing I didn't get rid of the landline), he said:
"Sometimes the older phones do that. The battery will go dead all at once, even if it shows 40 or 50% power remaining. It might actually be dead. You can try plugging it in to charge all night. Then we'll work from there if it's still dead. It's not like you can run out to the Sprint Store and get another one these days. If it's dead, you can order one online."
"I don't know how to make a new phone work!"
"Calm down. We'll deal with it."
I searched online, and found two possible fixes for it. I'll try them tomorrow, if the charging doesn't work. Can't hurt nothin'.
I'd rather have something go REALLY GOOD in my life, and blog about THAT.
Monday, April 6, 2020
Val, the Pale Recluse Hider
With my activities curtailed, I have no bait to lure you into my web. I'll just have to snag you as you wander by. Don't struggle! Skim through, and you're out. Don't want to end up like that Mary character, cocooned in the lair, in Aliens! The one who was still alive, and said,
"Kill meee..."
Now that we're on stay-at-home-down here in Backroads, I have only ventured out once since Thursday. That was to get the mail at the end of the gravel road. It's a mile, a dusty, uneven-footing mile, so I drove T-Hoe. Didn't see a soul. Not man nor beast.
After fetching my hard-of-hearing junk mail, I sat in T-Hoe with the windows down, listening to the babbling brook/cackling creek. Spring is in the air. It was a beautiful day to be out, though I couldn't be OUT, out. So I went back home, descended to my dark basement lair, and started working on my taxes. They're DONE!
Sure, I could go outside. We have 20 contiguous acres around our hillbilly mansion. However, if I'm not leaving the house every day for a trip to town, it doesn't enter my mind to go outside. The poor dogs have gone treatless, even though their tray of grease bread sits on the counter by the kitchen door. If the sun pops out, I'll try to get out on the porch, at least.
Not much to report about here, until I do my grocery shopping. I'd planned to go Monday, but yesterday's notice about Country Mart limiting the number of people in the store has me considering a reschedule for Thursday, when I get out to mail the boys' letters. Country Mart is never very busy, but this notice will probably make people flock there! I have no desire to wait in line to get inside.
I hope Hick does something interesting or irritating this week. For YOUR sake!
"Kill meee..."
Now that we're on stay-at-home-down here in Backroads, I have only ventured out once since Thursday. That was to get the mail at the end of the gravel road. It's a mile, a dusty, uneven-footing mile, so I drove T-Hoe. Didn't see a soul. Not man nor beast.
After fetching my hard-of-hearing junk mail, I sat in T-Hoe with the windows down, listening to the babbling brook/cackling creek. Spring is in the air. It was a beautiful day to be out, though I couldn't be OUT, out. So I went back home, descended to my dark basement lair, and started working on my taxes. They're DONE!
Sure, I could go outside. We have 20 contiguous acres around our hillbilly mansion. However, if I'm not leaving the house every day for a trip to town, it doesn't enter my mind to go outside. The poor dogs have gone treatless, even though their tray of grease bread sits on the counter by the kitchen door. If the sun pops out, I'll try to get out on the porch, at least.
Not much to report about here, until I do my grocery shopping. I'd planned to go Monday, but yesterday's notice about Country Mart limiting the number of people in the store has me considering a reschedule for Thursday, when I get out to mail the boys' letters. Country Mart is never very busy, but this notice will probably make people flock there! I have no desire to wait in line to get inside.
I hope Hick does something interesting or irritating this week. For YOUR sake!
Sunday, April 5, 2020
2020 Important Documents. They Said.
Heh, heh! How many people will I get coming to read this, thinking it's important? That's not my intent. I only want to reveal the tactics being used to TRICK THE ELDERLY!
I got ONE item in the mail on Thursday. So of course it had my full attention. It looked kind of official.
Please excuse the Puffs With Lotion that I ripped in half to cover my address.
So... if you got this in the mail, with the Statue of Liberty hoisting her flame, the HEALTH NOTIFICATION ALERT, postage paid, in this time of THE VIRUS...would YOU expect some important information?
Val did. She's not generally gullible, you know. She views life through a suspicious, jaundiced eye. Not many people put one over on Val.
With our county being recently placed on stay-at-home-down, I thought that perhaps this was something I should look at. Maybe it was about a possible exposure. I tore the perforated ends off, and opened up that important document.
WHAT?
its in bold caps, in case i really AM hard of heardind, i guess
,pore l;ike hard of typoign!
Yes. That's pure, unadulterated Val at the keyboard. Let me translate.
It was just junk mail asking if I was hard of hearing! In large, bold print, just in case I was, perhaps. Junk mail to trick me into responding so I'd be on a million hard-of-hearing scammer call lists. Val is not hard of hearing. More like hard of typing.
No, it was not a warning that I had been exposed to an asymptomatic carrier, with a need to self-quarantine. Nothing important at all.
I got ONE item in the mail on Thursday. So of course it had my full attention. It looked kind of official.
Please excuse the Puffs With Lotion that I ripped in half to cover my address.
So... if you got this in the mail, with the Statue of Liberty hoisting her flame, the HEALTH NOTIFICATION ALERT, postage paid, in this time of THE VIRUS...would YOU expect some important information?
Val did. She's not generally gullible, you know. She views life through a suspicious, jaundiced eye. Not many people put one over on Val.
With our county being recently placed on stay-at-home-down, I thought that perhaps this was something I should look at. Maybe it was about a possible exposure. I tore the perforated ends off, and opened up that important document.
WHAT?
its in bold caps, in case i really AM hard of heardind, i guess
,pore l;ike hard of typoign!
Yes. That's pure, unadulterated Val at the keyboard. Let me translate.
It was just junk mail asking if I was hard of hearing! In large, bold print, just in case I was, perhaps. Junk mail to trick me into responding so I'd be on a million hard-of-hearing scammer call lists. Val is not hard of hearing. More like hard of typing.
No, it was not a warning that I had been exposed to an asymptomatic carrier, with a need to self-quarantine. Nothing important at all.
Saturday, April 4, 2020
A CENTSational Last Week of Freedom for Val
The Future Pennyillionaire week kicked off SUNDAY, March 29, with a twofer at Orb K. I'd already surveyed the regular harvest zone. Nothing there. I turned my head to the right, and voila!
At the base of the hand sanitizer dispenser were my two cents!
I had just become the proud new penny-momma of a face-down 2002, and a heads-up 2011. More penny-power to me!
__________________________________________________________________
Val's last hurrah on THURSDAY, April 2, about 12 hours before the county-widelockdown stay-at-home-down, was really worth cheering about! Her weekly errand trip yielded a drop in the old Future Pennyillionaire Fortune bucket at three separate stops!
The School-Turn Casey's had a DIME waiting for me. Wouldn't you know it, somebody had to be polite and HOLD THE DOOR OPEN for me, when all I wanted to do was jump on the dime like Shirley Feeney on a floor cracker! To be polite, I went on inside, did my business, and waited for the way out to hold my own door open, get my picture, and harvest my dime.
Don't let that door-jamb screw fool you! My dime was a face-down find from 1976. You know how significant that year was, right? It was THE VALEDICTORIAN YEAR!
After a stop at the post office to mail the boys' letters, I proceeded to the Sis-Town Casey's for T-Hoe's gas. That darn clerk was so speedy that Hick didn't get his saver club points for my purchase. At least I benefited by finding a floor penny!
I had to drag this Lincoln out with the toe of my shoe. I wonder how many of those snacks they sell, stashing them down in the corner like that.
I held up the line to nab my heads-up 2013 pretty penny. I did not give a fat rat's patootie!
Off to pick up some last-minute groceries, I hopped out at Country Mart, smug with my shirt-pocket dime and pants-pocket penny, and was shocked to see ANOTHER penny waiting for me!
It was right there where I couldn't miss it, next to my favorite parking spot.
This was a face-down 1980 cent. I snatched it up and deposited it in my right pants pocket.
What a fine send-off week to fill my coffers, just before myforced strongly-recommended self-quarantine. Five pennies and one dime! I'll take that any week!
__________________________________________________________________
2020 RUNNING TOTAL
Penny # 30, 31, 32, 33, 34.
Dime # 8.
Nickle still at 3.
Quarter 0
2019 TOTALS
Penny 134
Dime 20
Nickel 8
Quarter 5
__________________________________________________________________
At the base of the hand sanitizer dispenser were my two cents!
I had just become the proud new penny-momma of a face-down 2002, and a heads-up 2011. More penny-power to me!
__________________________________________________________________
Val's last hurrah on THURSDAY, April 2, about 12 hours before the county-wide
The School-Turn Casey's had a DIME waiting for me. Wouldn't you know it, somebody had to be polite and HOLD THE DOOR OPEN for me, when all I wanted to do was jump on the dime like Shirley Feeney on a floor cracker! To be polite, I went on inside, did my business, and waited for the way out to hold my own door open, get my picture, and harvest my dime.
Don't let that door-jamb screw fool you! My dime was a face-down find from 1976. You know how significant that year was, right? It was THE VALEDICTORIAN YEAR!
After a stop at the post office to mail the boys' letters, I proceeded to the Sis-Town Casey's for T-Hoe's gas. That darn clerk was so speedy that Hick didn't get his saver club points for my purchase. At least I benefited by finding a floor penny!
I had to drag this Lincoln out with the toe of my shoe. I wonder how many of those snacks they sell, stashing them down in the corner like that.
I held up the line to nab my heads-up 2013 pretty penny. I did not give a fat rat's patootie!
Off to pick up some last-minute groceries, I hopped out at Country Mart, smug with my shirt-pocket dime and pants-pocket penny, and was shocked to see ANOTHER penny waiting for me!
It was right there where I couldn't miss it, next to my favorite parking spot.
This was a face-down 1980 cent. I snatched it up and deposited it in my right pants pocket.
What a fine send-off week to fill my coffers, just before my
__________________________________________________________________
2020 RUNNING TOTAL
Penny # 30, 31, 32, 33, 34.
Dime # 8.
Nickle still at 3.
Quarter 0
2019 TOTALS
Penny 134
Dime 20
Nickel 8
Quarter 5
__________________________________________________________________
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