The Pony does not get his uniform allowance until after his probationary period is over. The new hires wear their own clothing. Sometimes which includes booty shorts and tank tops. Not on The Pony, of course! And they all have an official USPS cap, and an ID badge. The Pony bought some plain shorts and V-neck T-shirts in dark blue and gray, which he mixes and matches.
Depending on The Pony's assignment and route, he may walk 9 to 11 miles a day. His shorts are fitting more loosely. So he bought himself a couple belts. The Pony is not generally a belt person. He got home Saturday night, and went straight to the big triangle tub for his 2-hour soak. The next morning, I noticed he'd left his belt hanging on the end of my towel rack.
I thought about taking the belt to The Pony. But that was wrong. He should get his own belt, so he'd remember in the future to keep track of his stuff. You know what they say: "If you give a Pony his belt, he wears it for a day. I you make a Pony get his own belt, he can go a lifetime without dropping his pants in public." Or something like that...
The Pony fetched his belt. I remember it well. We were having a laugh about another article of his clothing as he carried it behind the couch I was sitting on. But Monday, when it came time for work, The Pony couldn't find his belt. He was scheduled to go in at 3:30, for the first time ever, for a half day.
"I can't find my belt."
"You got it out of my bathroom."
"I know. But I don't know what I did with it."
"You went in the laundry room. Remember? We were discussing your--"
"I'll check. Nope. Not there. I've got to get going. I guess I can wear my other belt."
The Pony carried it out to the living room. It's like his plain belt, only the braided style.
"How do I fasten this belt? There's no holes in it!"
"You just poke that thingy through the weave. Like where there's a seam where it's braided."
"Oh. I didn't know how it worked. I'll look for my other belt when I do laundry."
"Did you put it in your laundry?"
"It's probably in my shorts I wore to work."
"You haven't been to work since you hung your belt on my towel rack. You were off Sunday."
"I think you're confused."
"No. I think YOU'RE confused!"
The Pony was a bit miffed by that statement. So much that he partially pouted and declared that he was NOT bringing in his water jugs for filling, that he had enough water left in one for a half day. Sure. Water left in the car in 90-degree temps from SATURDAY. He came back and went to FRIG II for ice. Even being displeased with Mommy Dearest is not enough to risk heat exhaustion.
Anyhoo... I showered and got ready to fetch my magical elixir from town. As I was putting on my socks, which I do at the piano bench, I noted The Pony's BELT, hanging on the end of the piano. It was 3:20. I figured he was about ready to clock in. So I sent him a text that I'd found his belt.
I hope he was impressed. I used a piano keys emoji thingy.
10 miles a day! Holy Hannah, no wonder some of them sometimes go ...you know.
ReplyDeleteThat is the occupational hazard that dare not speak its name in THIS household!
DeleteMaybe The Pony will vent by hiding his mail in a storage locker, until he can persuade a guy with a horse face, big teeth, and flared nostrils to deliver it on a Sunday...
Excellent! It's difficult (yet funny) raising kids, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's the unpaid job that never ends!
DeleteThis reminds me of a TV ad that ran here many years ago urging people to use seat belts for their kids, the ad said "belt up your children.."
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found the missing belt, The Pony might have spent hours looking everywhere else and not finding it.
Wait..you have a piano??
I remember something like that. Of course, these days it would be a cause for outrage.
DeleteWe have TWO pianos! One in the hall between the living room and The Pony's room, which may now be called our Belt Holder. It belonged to my mom.
The other piano is older. It's in the basement, by the pool table. It belonged to my grandma, who got it from my old elementary school when they got a new one. So it was already OLD, back in the 60s.
Sounds like a job where you will stay in shape, if you can keep your pants up!
ReplyDeleteIn my "fit" days, I used to covet that job so much! Getting PAID to EXERCISE! While being outside, away from people.
DeleteBelt holder? Clothes holder is what we called our walking machine. See I can't even remember what they're called. Aw don;t tread on me.
ReplyDeleteWe have one in the basement. Ours is called a dust collector.
DeleteCan you come here and kind my keys? My keys have been missing for well over a week. Have not shown up in the laundry and now I am thinking they may have fallen from my pocket outside. With all the rain, they could be drowning .....
ReplyDeleteThe best I can do is assure you that your keys are NOT hanging on the end of my piano.
Delete