Call the WAAambulance!

Hick apparently suffered a dislocated nose on Sunday. Technically, his nose was out of joint. I think his injury was self-inflicted. I'll let you be the judge, but I retain rights to jury and executioner.

 

Hick was at his Storage Unit Store when The Pony and I had a conversation in the kitchen, about my Walmart list that The Pony was checking for his imminent shopping trip. He was getting some breakfast items to have here, instead of leaving early for work and stopping at McDonald's. I guess a month of that got old.

"I'm marking off the trash bags. We have a whole box I just opened. Oh, and I'm getting some milk for my cereal. Whole milk. I'd appreciate it if Dad didn't drink it."

"He has a gallon in there from the Ponytail Guy. I think the date just passed. He doesn't like whole milk, anyway. He uses the 2% milk. He needs to throw that out so you'll have room for yours."

"I'm getting a smaller container. Just for my cereal."

Hick came home and was kicked back in the recliner watching NASCAR. The Pony gathered up his keys to leave for Steak N Shake, then Walmart. I was in the kitchen with HIPPIE when I heard The Pony say, 

"Oh, Dad. I'm getting some milk for my cereal, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use it."

I tend to tune them out, but The Pony was in my peripheral vision, leaning over the back of the long couch to grab his keys from where he tosses stuff when he comes home from work after an 11-hour day, so I only heard his part, and not Hick's reply.

When I came back from town, Hick was apparently still stewing over the exchange. 

"Your son almost made me mad. Telling me he'd APPRECIATE IT if I didn't drink HIS milk! It's in the refrigerator. It belongs to everybody! Who does he think he is?"

"I think the point is that he will have it for breakfast before work, to keep from leaving earlier. If he gets up and the milk is gone, then he's too late to get McDonald's. You know he doesn't eat lunch. It's a long day until he gets home for supper. He HAS to have breakfast."

"That's no way to talk to me!"

"Sorry, King, that your castle isn't running up to your standards! The Pony is going to Walmart. Why didn't you just say, 'Get me some 2% milk, mine is expired,' and then it's no big deal. You both have milk that you like."

"I'll get some. I'll go to the store."

"That's just stupid. He's still at Steak N Shake, going to Walmart at 4:30. Text him."

"I said I'll get some."

"You want ME to do it, don't you?"

"No. I'll get some milk."

"I don't know why you have to be this way. I'll go do it."

Of course The Pony texted back "OK" to adding 2% milk to the list. Sheesh! Hick has a personal shopper at his fingertips, and he wants to be a victim rather than take advantage.

I think Hick's nose is still a little lopsided. You can cancel the WAAambulance, but it might need to stay on stand-by for transport to remove any upcoming chip on Hick's shoulder.