Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Hick, the Silver-Tongued Salesman

Hick finally had good weather for a Saturday at his Storage Unit Store. He's a pretty crafty salesman.

"I took some shoes up there to sell. They don't sell real well, even though they're new in the box. You're lucky to get $10 out of a pair of shoes. I had a pair of woman's sandals, size 11. I seen this girl walk by a couple times. She had really big feet. So the next time she came by, I said, 'I've got just what you need. Come in and have a look.' She tried them on and walked around. She loved them shoes! She went to get her dad, and showed him, and asked if she could have them.

I told the guy, 'For $8, they're yours!' He said, 'I only like her $6 worth, though!' The girl looked sad, so I said, 'Okay, $6, sold!' He paid for them, and she was thrilled. 'DAD! The box says they're $40 shoes!' Then the guy says, 'Now I have to get something for your brothers. Do you have anything for boys? There's three of 'em.' I showed him some binoculars I've had for a while, marked $15 each. He offered me $12 for one. Then he said, 'If I take them all, can I get them for $10?'

'Mister, you can have all three pairs of binoculars for $30.' He took them. Then the girl says, 'Dad! You spent $10 on the boys, and only $6 on me!' He just laughed. I said, 'How old are you, about 14?' And the girl said, 'I'm 11.' She really had big feet."

I'm surprised Hick didn't flat out say to her, "You've got big feet!" A couple years ago, we saw a relative, and the first thing out of Hick's mouth was, "You got FAT!" He wasn't trying to sell anything then, though.

17 comments:

  1. He could open his own Good 'n Cheap show store.

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    1. I hope he doesn't put a Mom and Pop store out of business!

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    2. I guess you figured out show sb shoe.

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  2. Hick doesn't have a click off button does he. Dang.

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  3. HeWho is notorious for asking new mothers when they are due. I have been known to step on his foot or pinch his leg when he starts to speak … My son-in-law wears size 17 shoes.

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    1. I try to give Hick the raised eyebrow, and then shake my head. Sometimes he'll pipe down. Size 17! I don't think Hick can help him.

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    2. Size 17! That explains all those Sasquatch sightings.

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    3. Around here, he's called MoMo. The Missouri Monster.

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    4. My son-in-law lives in MN, but is from South Dakota. I just call him Chad!

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    5. Heh, heh! I haven't read about any CHAD sightings in Minnesota. Lately...

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  4. "I only like her $6 worth though"
    Holey moley! Who says that in front of the child? I'm guessing he didn't mean it as an insult and she didn't take it as one. I'm glad the shoes fit her, that's a happy coincidence. Boys love binoculars. I'm planning on getting some for my brother's grandson this coming Christmas. He'll be six by then.

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    1. I think that guy was a jokester, just developing a rapport with Hick for bargaining purposes. Yes, all four of our boys had a pair of binoculars, assorted sizes and styles. I think one pair was camouflaged, and folded up for a pocket.

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  5. Replies
    1. Hick's cronies tell him he sells too low, but he just wants to move the merchandise so he can buy more stuff to sell too low! I'm pretty sure they're not trying to help him, but only concerned that he's stealing their customers.

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  6. Replies
    1. Yes, that sandal-buyer. And Hick too...

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