Thursday, January 19, 2017

Bartender, Scrap-Taker, Scratch-Donut-Maker

When Genius was home for Christmas, I offered to send back some leftovers with him. He only had four days to eat or freeze them, though, because he was flying out on his west coast trip in the early morning hours of New Year's Eve. Part of the leftovers included Oreo crumbs left from the making of three Oreo Cakes. It's not that we're addicted to Oreo Cakes. I don't even like them Hick can't eat them, but The Pony LOVES them. One was for us, two were gifts.

Anyhoo...I had a bunch of crumbs left over that I used to garnish the top of the cake. Here's a picture of what you missed if you weren't having dessert with Thevictorians.



Don't think Thevictorians throw away perfectly usable food scraps. At first I thought Genius mught turn up his snooty nose at such offal. But no. Genius said he knew just what to do with those crumbs. The same thing I figured might cross his mind. Make a cocktail with them!

Val is a teetotaler, you know, but she watches TV. So I suggested some kind of drink that you might coat the rim of the glass with Oreo crumbs. Not a red Solo cup rim. A real GLASS glass. I tried to describe my vision in a rudimentary way, and Genius took off on a riff of assorted liqueurs and similar cocktails and what he had on hand in his college-rental-house liquor larder.

Genius, you also know, is not a stranger to demon rum. Not only does he have a little Captain Morgan in him, he has $35-a-bottle black label whiskey, foreign-sounding aperitifs and cordials, and four cases of assorted beers from his music festival trip to Kansas City last year. I'd say Genius is probably about 75.5% alcohol. He might just as well be called Ronrico 151! (See? Val does her research. And went to college. And listened to the Georgia Satellites' "Railroad Steel"--that reference is around the 3:00 mark.)

Anyhoo...Genius didn't come back to the homestead after his trip, due to icy weather and flight changes. So when we took his car to him, I took the baggie of Oreo crumbs. Last week, he sent me a picture of what he used them for:


Yes. I was surprised. Those aren't gonna give anybody a hangover! Genius made donuts!

WHOOP! WHOOP! What's that? I hear the sound of the Spelling Police trying to pull me over! Eat my dust, you overhorsepowered frustrated schoolmarms! Val will NOT pull over! It's DONUTS here! We're not living in the 1800s!

I can see why Genius and his housemates buy their paper towels by the 6-pack! I asked if he used biscuit dough. That's a quick way to make donuts, you know. My mom used to do it, with some cinnamon sugar sprinkled on top. And if that was Nutella. Genius is a big fan of Nutella.

"No. We made our own dough. It's literally just flour, yeast, eggs, milk, and time. And we made chocolate glaze."

I didn't ask who was getting that tiny one in the back.

I'm pretty sure I know where Genius's inspiration came from. His west coast trip. Namely, Voodoo Doughnuts. (The spelling here is a nod to their proper name. Don't think Val is afraid of being roughed up by the Spelling Police.) More another day on that excursion.

10 comments:

  1. Genius sounds like he might be a baker-competitor on an upcoming season of "The Great American Baking Show," or whatever it's called. Making his OWN donuts? He's impressive. Not breathtaking. Impressive.

    Does he like his liquor sweet? I tasted Rumchata recently. A capful in hot chocolate is delightful...

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    1. I think he likes his liquor potent! Rumchata might be one of them he rattled off. I didn't recognize many, but he and his friend seemed to agree that they had JUST THE RIGHT INVENTORY at their house to pull off an Oreo drink.

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  2. Donuts donuts donuts donuts donuts. I luv to drive the speling police krazy, their very annoying.

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    1. As I recall, this would not be your first pursuit. You are like Public Enemy Number Joe to a couple of cranky cops!

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  3. It's thyme you forget what the spelling police think. Offer those cops a donut. Recipe for Oreo cake?

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    1. Heh, heh. There would be nothing the Spelling Cops like better than a donut!

      The recipe for Oreo cake? I'm no Genius. Nothing from scratch here. But The Pony and HOS and The Veteran rave about my Oreo cake.

      It starts with a Betty Crocker box mix, which can be Devil's Food, or Chocolate Fudge, or if you're feeling decadent, TRIPLE CHOCOLATE FUDGE. Nobody seems to notice the difference in which flavor I use.

      OREOS-about 3/4 of a pack, not Double Stuff. You could use them, but the white stuff melts while baking anyway. Cut the Oreos in half so you have enough to go around the cake, and five halves to arrange on top. The ones that break, toss into a bowl for chopping to put into the cake batter. You can make them whatever size you want. My boys prefer about nickel or quarter size.

      Once you have your Oreos chopped and set aside, make the batter according to the directions on Betty Crocker's box. Fold in the chopped Oreos. (BUT SAVE THE FINE CRUMBS FOR GARNISHING THE TOP!) Pour equal amounts into two cake pans, greased. Bake according to the box. Use the toothpick test to tell when done.

      Let cakes cool about 20-30 minutes on a rack, then coax them out of the cake pans. I use the disposable aluminum ones. Let cakes cool another hour on the rack, then put one on a cake plate and slather frosting on the bottom one's top. Stack the other on, and slather more frosting on the sides, then the top. (I use Pillsbury Creamy Supreme Vanilla. It takes a little more than one can.)

      Circle the bottom of the plate with Oreo halves up against the cake, arrange five halves on top like a star, sprinkle the leftover fine crumbs on top.

      There you have it. An Oreo cake!

      Let the record show that I've tried other cake mix brands, but some cakes stick to the bottom and leave a chunk in the middle of the pan. Other frostings are see-through or too sticky and pull crumbs off the cake. I always have to remember RED BOX for cake mix, BLUE LID for frosting.

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  4. Sioux is right about that Rumchata! I have a recipe for a Rumchata cheese cake that I will be making for my son-in-law on our next visit. Maybe Genius might be interested in that recipe? Maybe he will make donuts for you next time he comes home!

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    1. I will ask Genius about his cheesecake skills, and see if he wants the recipe. I doubt he will make donuts for me. His home time is usually spent laying on the couch, soaking up my internet.

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  5. I gained three pounds just looking at these pictures. Thanks!

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    1. Are you trying to guilt me into posting a picture of a treadmill?

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