My mom is a regular Agent 99, a Natasha Fatale, an Emma Peele, a Secret Squirrel. Who knew she has been spying on the guy across the road? Not me. Not him. Until she let it slip the other day, when I asked if that guy ever got the fallen tree out of his driveway. This is the neighbor my mom said she would NOT take food to, even if he was blocked in by that fallen tree, because "He has a wife!" And therefore deserves to starve, or can use her as a Donner snack.
"So, did that man ever get the tree out of his driveway?"
"Not exactly. He's been working at it. I feel sorry for him."
"Not sorry enough to lend him your chainsaw."
"No. I don't even know if that chainsaw works. But he must not know anyone with a chainsaw, because he has been out there sawing at that big tree with just a hand saw. He's got most of it out of the way. He can drive off the edge of his driveway and go around the big trunk."
"You would have thought he'd call somebody by now and have it hauled away, or cut up."
"Well, you would think so. But he still goes out with the hand saw. I really don't think he can get the rest of it by himself. With a hand saw. It looks really hard to try and cut through that big part."
"I guess it will just have to rot."
"I can't believe what he's been doing with those smaller branches. I thought he would just toss them aside. But he takes them over to the Czech's side of the driveway, and tosses them onto his land! I'm surprised the Czech hasn't noticed. I don't think he'd like that very much. He takes care of his yard."
"This guy must be from the city, moving out here without a chainsaw. He probably thinks that the Czech's yard is just the woods. It is kind of overgrown from that driveway to his mowed yard."
"I think he left it that way so he wouldn't have to see the people on the other side. I don't like it that the man can sit on his porch and look over here at me. I don't like to work in the yard when he's out. And he's there three or four times a day."
"Well, he has brought your mail and checked on you during the snowstorms. He can't be all that bad."
"Maybe not. But he shouldn't be throwing his limbs in the Czech's yard."
My mom. If Hitchcock had met her first, he would have made a movie called "Front Window." Mom may not have a working chainsaw, but I think she has an axe to grind.