Tuesday, March 25, 2014

It's 3:32 Somewhere

From the folks who brought you Lunch At 10:53…I proudly announce the unveiling of their latest venture: Supper At 3:32.

Yes, we have apparently become citizens of Del Boca Vista. You know, that illustrious senior community in Florida where the Costanzas considered moving. Home of fold-out couches with back-breaking bars in them. Where the air conditioner is never turned on. Where neighbors voluntarily give you their astronaut pen, then have the nerve to want it back. Like some kind of...person who gives something to you then wants it back. No steak dinners at 4:30 for us. No sirree, Bob! It’s pasta primavera at 3:32, baby! It’s a wonder we weren’t all “refunding” a couple of hours later, with a doomed boat ride on an anti-whaling mission for Greenpeace in our future.

Such is the life of a public school teacher on parent conference night. It’s either feast or famine. This evening was a feast. Instead of ordering out our own meal at our own expense, and having our Chinese or Mexican fare arrive at 5:00, for everybody and his brother to handle and sift through and shove aside while on a quest for his item…the school footed the bill and brought us pasta. Mmm…mmm. Okay, the Truth in Blogging Law says I must disclose that we did not really have pasta primavera. We had mostaccioli, and fettuccine alfredo, with salad and rolls.

The meal was supposed to arrive at 4:00. Still earlier than the Early Bird Special, but planned so we could feast uninterrupted by the after-work rush. Woe were the poor souls who have third lunch from 11:47 to 12:14. No doubt they were still stuffed from their cafeteria tray of "pork" chop, mashed potatoes, peas, and a banana. Too bad, so sad! More for US! The ravenous 10:53 lunch crowd.

We might as well live up to our sullied reputation of scarfing down every morsel in our path, like army ants on the march. Take THAT, grazers. Leave those carbs alone. Salad for you. Forget the roll.


  1. Supper does move closer to lunch as you put on the years, but a pasta feast sounds good at any hour.

    Multiple references in the first paragraph reverencing I am going to say three different episodes. Damn I was horrible on yesterdays.

  2. My husband, now retired, used to be a letter carrier and got up very early in the morning. Breakfast at 4:30, lunch at 10:30 and dinner at 4:30. And I would always say, ...I'm not force-feeding myself a steak at four-thirty to save a couple of bucks, I'll tell you that!

  3. Do you own all the Seinfeld episodes on DVD?

  4. Nothing like having your "evening" meal in the afternoon to get you used to Senior Citizen life Next thing you know you'll be looking for your dentures and your walker so you can beat the crowd to the jello bar.

  5. It would be okay if you could go to bed at 7. But then you would start rising earlier and reset your body's clock and a vicious cycle would start.

  6. I notice that as we get older Mrs. C. and I eat dinner much earlier than we did in our younger years. Sometimes we eat a late lunch and skip dinner altogether, not that this is reflected in our waistlines.

  7. joeh,
    Before you know it, I'll be having supper as dessert for lunch.

    Admitting you have a problem is the first step to becoming a Seinfeld master. There were indeed multiple episodes referenced. Six. Sorry I don't know the episodes by name. I'm sure my BFF Google could help you study.

    *the astronaut pen/couch/heat-Jerry takes Elaine to Florida and they stay with his parents at Del Boca Vista

    *Costanzas want to retire to Del Boca Vista, Seinfelds don't want them

    *Jerry can't say "Indian giver" after buying a cigar store Indian for his new Native American girlfriend, Winona

    *George's date ate a lot and he suspected her of "refunding" after excusing herself from the table

    *Russell Dalrymple eats pasta primavera sneezed on by Elaine and puts Jerry and George's TV pilot on hold

    *Russell Dalrymple, Pres. of NBC, drowns for Greenpeace, and Jerry and George's pilot is not picked up by the new head of NBC

    I would have no problem with the 4:30 force-feeding. I do not own all of the Seinfeld DVDs. I have a smattering of box sets. However...Seinfeld is on reruns at 5:00, 5:30, and 6:00 p.m. on one channel, and again at 12:30 and 1:30 a.m. I can almost founder on Seinfeld if I want to.

    I prefer a Rascal to a walker. I might get pushed down in a fire evacuation if I use a walker. But with a Rascal I can participate in a low-speed chase down the sidewalk.

    No can do. Right now I go to bed around midnight or 1:00. That 7:00 is for the birds. Like chickens. They go to roost.

    Yeah, funny how that works. It defies logic. Like eating non-fat yogurt served up by Kramer, and then finding out that you've gained ten pounds.