Monday, February 17, 2014

The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Sometimes, after a hard day at work, with nothing to write about, and itching to get his over with so you can watch the season premiere of Worst Cooks in America on The Food you ever find yourself leaning back in the office chair of your dark basement lair, soaking up warmth from your under-desk space heater, a 24 oz. middle-of-the-week Diet Coke at your right hand, illuminated only by the monitor of your New Delly, balancing an open mini blue plastic jar of Vicks VapoRub on your nose?

Didn't think so.

But just in case, if you do, breathe deeply, my friends. Carpe Diem. Seize the menthol. Grab all the gusto of clear sinuses. Inhale those cooling fumes. And you, too, shall be able to emulate Seinfeld, the show about nothing, and write your very own blog about nothing.

Now I'm off to grab a bowl of nuts and a glass of grape juice and persuade The Pony to shove on over so I can sit on the end of our new couch. I can't imagine anything going wrong with this perfect plan.


  1. So, unlike that past president, you DO inhale?

  2. Itching to get his over is that how your regard it? Sorry I sometimes can't stop myself. Can I borrow your VICKS? Those little darlings gave me the crud, too.

  3. So, the Vick's inspired nothing! I like the smell of menthol. Bath & Body works has a lotion with menthol and eucalyptus. It is supposed to relieve stress. I just like the aroma, I can't say that it has relieved much stress.

  4. Sioux,
    Vicks only. It's legal. My man Bill must have been smokin' somethin' to make a statement like that! Smokin' AND inhalin'.

    Yes, itching to get it over with. But only when I have a scant 15 minutes and no inspiration. Otherwise, I'm thinking about it all day, chomping at the bit, false-starting to get my words down on electronic screen. It doesn't help that I FORCE myself to write a post every day for both of my blogs. Sometimes I only have one good idea.

    Vicks is a very personal thing. It's not like I could just toss you my Chapstick. Vicks has fingernails scraped through it, and the ends of bulbous noses dipped in, and washcloth lint left behind, and,'s like my own special sourdough starter.

    Yes, it did not inspire. It was more of a time-waster. Like Jack Nicholson pounding out his dull boy manuscript at the Overlook Hotel. The smell IS soothing. I don't even care that I look like a freak with that jar over my nose.