Genius called me from college last night, wanting to know where Walmart hides the Vicks. You'd think a Genius who can build a solar car would be able to find a small blue box containing a jar of topical ointment.
"I can't find the Vicks anywhere. The pharmacy is closed. There's nobody to ask for help."
"Well, it IS 9:00 on a Sunday night. Have you looked in the cough medicine aisle?" You must never ASSUME when dealing with a late-stage teenager.
"I'm IN the cough medicine aisle. There's no Vicks. I even went on the other side of the aisle, and found the Vicks humidifiers and stuff. But there's no Vicks."
"Go to the check out and ask the checker. They'll know."
"I think I have pneumonia. Tomorrow I'm going to Student Health to find out."
"That's good. But it doesn't help you tonight. You ARE looking for a box, right? Vicks is in a jar, but in comes in a dark blue box."
"WAIT! They're all out of Vicks. But here's Equate Vaporizing Rub! And it's only half as much as Vicks. This will work just fine."
"Let me know what you find out at Student Health."
"Okay. coughcoughhackhackHACK. Bye."
This morning I got a text. "I don't have pneumonia. Probably not going to die. I got an antibiotic and cough medicine. Should feel better within the week."
Let's hope so. Let's hope he can read the directions on the medicines. His father thinks cough medicine must be taken every four hours until it's gone...like an antibiotic. Then he wonders why he sleeps all the time. "Well, I guess the doc wanted me to sleep. That's why he gave me the cough medicine."
And Hick is perfectly capable of building a solar car, too.
Yeah, the bright ones often don't have one iota of common sense. MY bright boy once kept driving back and forth across the Mississippi River--trying to get to a concert on the East Side, and called me asking--"Is the Arch on the Illinois or the Missouri side?"
ReplyDeleteI am so proud...
"His father thinks cough medicine must be taken every four hours until it's gone...like an antibiotic." My god woman you are funny!
ReplyDeleteMy son takes cough syrup and just fills the little cup up. The little cup is two tablespoons and you are supposed to take two teaspoons. Sometimes I worry that my kids are ill-prepared to live on their own.
I can't biuld a soap box derby car let alone a solar car. I might have a shot at vinding some Vicks...probably not.
ReplyDeleteHope he's feeling better. Hick, the Genius and Vicks... the story of wonder boys.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteMy favorite gambling aunt and I once kept driving around the Missouri side trying to find out how to get to the Casino Queen. We knew a bridge was involved, but couldn't see a way to get up on that bridge. My aunt said, "Hey, I'll ask a cab driver. He'll know." She doubled-parked beside a cabbie and hollered through the window. Too bad he didn't speak English.
******
Birdie,
Teaspoons? Hick thinks all kitchen spoons are the equivalent of teaspoons. Eating spoon, serving spoon, probably even a big wooden decorative spoon hanging on the wall. It's a wonder he has enough cough medicine left to take every four hours.
*****
joeh,
I don't know...you're still struggling with what size glass of orange juice to bring to you lovely lady. Better wait until you master that before tackling a new challenge.
******
Linda,
Wonder Boys. Rocket Boys. Homer HICKam...I sense a pattern here. Who knew that the original rocket boy, Homer Hickam, is actually a WRITER! It's true. People watch October Sky and think ol' Homer is a rocket scientist. But even though he won a scholarship at the national science fair to get out of Coalwood, West Virginia, and subsequently went to work for NASA...he returned to his first love: WRITING!
That concludes our science lesson for today.
I suppose I should take all the pain pills and muscle relaxers until they are gone?
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteYes. Every four hours. Even if you have to set your alarm to wake up and take them. That's how Hick does it. Because he's sure that's what the doctor wants. It's on the label.