Tuesday, December 23, 2025

Val Gets Battered

Hey! Christmas is comin'! That means Val must get off her rumpus and start making preparations for the season's eatings. I have three Oreo Cakes to bake, plus something to take to Christmas Eve festivities at the home of my sister the ex-mayor's wife, and then our regular dinner for Christmas Day at 11:30 due to Genius's tight schedule. A meal that takes days of preparation, and is done in 15 minutes. But that's what moms are for, right? That, and the dishwashing (by hand, have I mentioned?) that will take longer than the feast.

Anyhoo... one cake is already done, and given to The Veteran. Today's cake is earmarked for HOS, Hick's Oldest Son. It starts with cutting a family size bag of Oreos in half. The cookies, not the package. How easy THAT would be! The halves are arranged around the edge of a paper plate, a two-tiered stack, with five perfect ones set aside in the center for the top of the cake. These halves will ring the base of the cake. The others are broken and tossed into a bowl to go into the batter.


Then I mix the batter (from a box, what do you think I am, a chef?). Betty Crocker Triple Chocolate is preferred, but if it's not available, I have also used Devil's Food or Chocolate Fudge versions. I use a hand mixer (easier than the days when it was broken, and I developed a Popeye arm) and then fold in the Oreos, which have been stabbed a bit to reduce their chunks. I am careful not to dump in the whole bowl (like I mistakenly did one year) because the very tiny crumbs are needed to garnish the top of the finished cake. After pouring (heh, heh, Freudian slip, I typed 'pouting' at first) into two round PAM-ed foil pans (shh... I used recycled pans from Sister Schubert's Rolls), I bake them at 350 for 30 minutes. Then set on a rack to cool for at least 30 minutes, then turn them out and let them cool completely.

What does Val do while the cake is cooling? She gets BATTERED! That bowl and beaters aren't going to lick themselves! Somebody's gotta do it! Val is a VALunteer.


Yes, the bowl has already been scraped with a spatula by Val. If I had an anteater tongue, it would be so much easier. The beaters await. The Oreo crumbs are safe. My palate does not yearn for them.

Storebought icing for Val. I prefer Pillsbury Creamy Supreme Vanilla, because it's thick enough not to slide off the cake, and you can't see the dark cake through it. After slathering that two-layer cake with icing, I arrange the set-aside halves around the base. Then put five in a star pattern on top. And sprinkle with the crumbly crumbs left from the chopped Oreos. 

VOILA!


The shadow makes the side look orange, but it's the same as the top. Served up on a pizza pan, because after the first few years I caught on that I was never getting my cake carriers back. It's a pretty cake, if I do say so myself.

Some people love this cake, and crave it through the year. I prefer the batter.

2 comments:

  1. Very fancy! I bought my husband a cereal that came out around Halloween that was supposed to taste like Oreos. I can take them or leave them, personally, however, he had poured some into a bowl and I tasted the cereal before he had added the milk. Not for me. Too sweet, although the milk may have distributed that sweetness as he ate it and he didn't complain about it being too sweet, which is a common description from him and his taste buds. But then he's only eaten one bowl so maybe the jury is still out on that. Heh. Your cake is a lovely gift, though, and I'd definitely try it as I think the cake part can alter the Oreos in a positive way. Yum. Ranee

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    1. That's cereal Hick would probably like. The cake part of my cake is fine with me, because the filling of the Oreos melts, and the cookie part softens up. I think I don't like the icing because it's too sweet, and I don't like vanilla.

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