It's The Universe's world. Val just tries to live in it. Minding her own beeswax, not rocking any boats, asking for little more than a drive-able T-Hoe, daily scratchers, and a Reuben sandwich once a month. The Universe is such a merry prankster. Always reminding Val that the laws of physics, much like traffic lights and road lines, are just suggestions.
A couple weeks ago, we had the strange incident of the (fake) dog on the steps. It remains unexplained. And now there's been another anomaly that smacks of practical-jokerism!
Friday afternoon, I started out to the garage. The fake dog was sitting where he belonged, beside the top of the steps. But another item blocked my way!
What in the NOT-HEAVEN??? It's a jug! I don't know where it came from. I don't know how it got there. Hick denies responsibility. WHO PUT A JUG ON MY SIDEWALK?
Pay no attention to the spectre in the window. That's just my reflection, not an actual ghost inside the garage, trying to capture Val's expression of surprise and fear (and possibly her soul).
I asked my little dog Jack where that jug came from. He offered no explanation. I picked it up and set it on the shelf against the garage. The jug had some frozen water in the bottom. That's called ice, if we're going by the regular laws of physics. The jug was about 1/6 full of ice.
Another strange thing had happened just before I left. I was out of the shower, lotioning my legs, when I heard the sound of a 4-wheeler or truck revving its engine. Sounded like it was in the front yard, just on the other side of the bathroom wall. Or maybe on Shackytown Boulevard. Jack wasn't barking. So I thought maybe it was just a noisy vehicle up on the gravel road. Then I saw the jug about 10 minutes later.
Oh, but wait. That's not all. When I came home two hours later, something was different inside the house. I didn't hear the TV. I always leave it on, to discourage burglars. You know how they fear TVs! I went through the kitchen to the living room, and saw that the TV screen was black. The green POWER light was off. But the power to the DISH box was on. When I turned on TV power, the show started playing. The DISH receiver was fine. Back in the kitchen, the microwave clock was working. So there hadn't been a power outage or even a quick flicker. That microwave clock is our most sensitive electronical gadget.
When Hick came home, he denied placing the jug on the sidewalk.
"I don't know where it came from. It's the jug I used to carry water to the dog we tried to adopt. Last I knew, it was in the garage. But maybe it was up on the shelf on the porch. I guess it coulda blowed off."
Well. It didn't on those days when we had 30 mph winds. And this day the wind was 5 mph. I suppose it could have landed right-side-up if it fell off the shelf, due to the ice frozen in the bottom. Maybe the out-of-control giant squirrels could have done it, even though you'd think it would have happened already in the months it might have been sitting there.
No sign of anybody being inside the house. HIPPIE was still on the kitchen table just inside the door. Hick said the TV goes off if it's on too long. No siree, Bob! That's the DISH receiver that will go off after three hours, if you don't change the channel. And it has a logo on the screen.
The best I can hope for, to prevent freaking out about a possible stalker, is that squirrels put the jug on the sidewalk, and our dormant poltergeist is again active, messing with the TV power...
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