I Guess These Are Not Considered CONDITION Conditions

A few weeks ago, we accepted an offer to buy the Double Hovel flip house(s). Hick was quite eager to take this offer, and not negotiate at all. He kept pointing out that the prospective buyers were offering a contract with NO CONDITIONS, and had already been approved for a loan. I take Hick's word for dealings with Realtor. Hick is the middle man for The Pony and me. 

I distinctly remember Hick carrying on about NO CONDITIONS. I assumed those words came from Realtor. So imagine my surprise last Monday when Hick said he had to stay away from the Double Hovel on Thursday, because it was being inspected by the prospective buyer!

Tuesday, I got a call from Hick, who said he had an appointment after lunch to discuss the inspection with Realtor. 

"That doesn't sound good! I hope they're not trying to back out of the deal!"

"Yeah. It could be nothing."

"I don't know why you'd have to go in if it was nothing. But surely Realtor would just tell you on the phone if the deal was off. Maybe they had questions, and she needs to get your answers so she can tell their realtor."

Hick called back at 12:45.

"Their inspector said some shingles were missing off the roof of the main house. That don't surprise me, with all that wind lately. I don't climb up there and check after every storm, but I replaced the piece of siding that blew off. I have shingles left from when we originally patched the roof. It ain't no big deal. I'm not climbing up a ladder with my knee hurt, and I don't want Old Buddy messing around up there. I already called my roof guy, and he's going by there tomorrow morning to fix the shingles. He's a contractor, so he'll be able to give me a letter to certify that the roof was fixed.

Also, their inspector crawled under the house! They usually don't do that. He said there was a sign there might be termites. I don't think so, but when we first started on the house, and replaced the rotten boards in that one corner, it looked like there might have been old trails from termites. I guess we should have just wiped down the wood, heh, heh. Anyway, a relative of The Veteran is an exterminator. He's licensed. So I'll just have him do it and give us a letter that it was done.

THEN Realtor said they wanted to know if the house could even be insured, with the roof in that shape. I told her it ain't in no 'shape,' that the roof is fine, and the house has been insured for two years now. I called over to our insurance agent and told him they needed proof the house was insurable. He said, 'We aren't in the business of insuring uninsurable houses! There's a policy on that house, same as there has been since you bought it and insured it with us!' So I had him fax a letter over to Realtor."

I didn't know faxing was still a thing, but I'll take Hick's word for it.

"What happened to their offer WITH NO CONDITIONS? Like nothing we had to do, and no inspections?"

"I don't know. I mentioned that. Realtor said there's a difference in what are considered CONDITIONS."

But wait! There was also an appraiser at the Double Hovel. To make sure the bank could loan the money. I guess there must also be a gray area concerning whether a buyer has already been approved for a loan, heh, heh! So Hick's two main 'selling points' on wanting me to accept this offer were based on Hick's misrepresentation, or shady interpretation of the concepts of NO CONDITIONS, and LOAN APPROVAL. Although Hick says the people were APPROVED for a loan of enough money, just not specifically for our property. And now the appraiser says everything is fine, and the Double Hovel is worth what we're asking.

Anyhoo... these are just minor bumps on the road to the closing. Nothing expensive or insurmountable. We're getting there. Two weeks to go.