It seems like Hick is Not-Heaven-bent on filling up every empty space in our mansion. Kitchen table, countertop, end table, fake electric fireplace mantel, coffee table, long couch, top of the shower door frame, top of the mini deep freezer, top shelf of FRIG II... there's no space he will leave uncluttered.
Now Hick has branched out into filling up the wastebasket. I know it's made for filling. But Hick takes it to a new level. I try to consolidate our trash. To use fewer bags. Which means fewer trips to the end of the driveway to the dumpster. But Hick just tosses anything all willy-nilly into the trash. Actually, I think he calculates how to take up maximum space.
Whereas I will slide the paper plates down the side of the wastebasket, in effect making a sideways stack, Hick will toss them in flat. Like a Frisbee. So one plate can block a lot of room where other trash could be squeezed in. Same with his empty Diet Mountain Dew bottles. Sideways. Like building a floating dock on the lake. Rather than poking them nose-down between other items.
Wednesday night, Hick ate the last slice of cheesecake that was left from Easter dessert. He made sure to snap the clear plastic dome back onto the flat cardboard base. Then set it in the wastebasket like he was making sure not to tilt it and allow a nonexistent cheesecake slice to slide a centimeter sideways. That cardboard base could have been slid down the side in the stack of paper plates! And the clear plastic dome turned upside down, with other trashy items placed inside.
It's not rocket science. It's just common sense. Either Hick lacks it, or he's inventing his own version of manspreading.
I think this is trait that just is not in the male genders DNA. My husband never "packs" the recycling and they only come every 2 weeks, so sometimes you have to be a bit creative to get it all to fit. Just for your information, I also stick the paper plates along the side of the bag and stick trash inside other items before putting them in the trash. I like to get my moneys worth out of the bag, as they are so darn expensive now. I'm afraid it may be a case of being unable to teach an old "dog" new tricks but good luck. Ranee
ReplyDeleteI don't like thinking of all the empty space that could be filled with more trash! No need to take out that bag more often than necessary.
DeleteOh, Hick. Don't you know by now? We recycle here, so that leaves just the dirty paper items in the trash. But husband is not always good about the recycling bit.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have a recycling option. I don't know why Hick can't understand how to compact his trash!
DeleteJust throw it all in willy nilly, then every so often compact it with a good solid size ten foot stomp.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you, some kind of contortionist? If Hick or I could raise our feet high enough to get into our tall kitchen wastebasket, we would join the circus!
DeleteUse a broom to stomp it all down. No need for a knees-up.
DeleteWhy should I expend an extra calorie wielding a broom? You know Hick wouldn't do it! Surely, with his building skills, he can figure out how to streamline his trash. Maybe I need to serve his food on the bare cutting block, and pour his Diet Mountain Dew into a trough... then I can dispose of the trash in a manner I see fit.
DeleteHis mind works in mysterious ways.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you are using the term "mind" loosely...
DeleteMy husband likes making as much noise as possible crushing plastic bottles, wadding empty potato chip bags, etc while I watch TV. Some days!
ReplyDeleteI banned bottled water from my classroom, because of the sound the kids liked to make with those plastic bottles. The noise Hick made removing the lid from that cheesecake container could have been heard in town!
DeleteI recycle, HeWho makes every effort to thwart my efforts. Now that it is Spring and my gardens are being developed, I have a separate can for paper items and I bury them under new gardens. They will decompose into the soil eventually and they prevent weeds from coming up. I do the same with cradboard. He throws everything in the trash and will push down inside the bag so that when I remove the bag there is a hole and something will leak as I take it out to the big trashcan outside. He is not mindful of any inconvenience to me.
ReplyDeleteHeWho must have a size 10 foot! And he's been taking trash compacting lessons from joeh on the sly. Sometimes Hick will take our paper and cardboard over to the BARn field and burn it. Probably causes less pollution than the emissions from the trash truck.
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