With Hick You Get Egg Roll

Last Friday, Hick called from his Storage Unit Store to ask if The Pony was up and presentable. Of course. It was after noon. Hick said (even though he had been instructed BY VAL to turn down any FREE food, due to our little freezer being full of the Ponytail Guy's meat), he had taken just a few things. So few, in fact, that he needed The Pony to come out and help him carry them in.

 

Hick was quick to declare that he ONLY had a box of egg rolls, some milk (or as he pronounces it, MELK), and a bag of the good sausage patties that I like. Huh. Seems to me that would be easily carryable by Hick, even with a bad arm and a PopArm.

 

Therein lies the problem. I ASSUMED that a box of egg rolls meant 10, or a dozen. Like the boxes of not-very-good frozen egg rolls I get at Country Mart. You know what happens when we assume. Our little beast of burden, The Pony, trotted in toting a giant box. 

 

"Dad couldn't lift it with his bad arm."

WE HAVE 96 EGG ROLLS!

 

 

LOOK AT THAT! It's what's left of the 96 egg rolls that The Pony had not yet put into gallon freezer bags. They look like they're in a coffin! The good news is that they're the FAT and TASTY egg rolls, like you get from a Chinese restaurant. Not the THIN and MEALY Country Mart poor imitations.

 

"Pony, I'm starting to think the Chinese place doesn't make their own egg rolls! I thought each restaurant made their own, because they're so different."

 

"Nah. More like they have different suppliers."

 

"Yeah. These sure look like the egg rolls we get there. Except I'm not deep-frying them. I'll put them in the oven. What does the box say for directions?"

 

"Um. Nothing. Only to cook until they reach 165 degrees, using a thermometer."

 

"Well, that's not happening. I'll put them in the oven at 400 for 10 minutes, then turn them and cook another 10. That should be close enough."

 

 

IT WAS! These egg rolls are delicious! Here's one that had popped open that we laid out for thawing, to shove in the oven and sample them. They're pork egg rolls, stuffed with cabbage.

 

The egg rolls got crispy in the oven, and were as greasy as if I had dropped them in a vat of hot oil! I had a jar of duck sauce (from Country Mart) that I used for dipping. Hick wanted some hot mustard, which is now on my shopping list. The Pony was going to make a concoction of spicy chili oil and mayo. No thanks.

 

One thing's for sure. We DO NOT need 96 egg rolls.

 

I guess I could start my own snack shack when Hick eventually opens up Hick's Shackytown Amusement Park and Roadside Attraction. I will call it Val's Egg Roll Hidey-Hole.