Thursday morning, I woke up with a squeezy sinus headache. I hate it when that happens. It's not a throbbing headache. I feel like the upper part of my head is in a vise. The forehead, above the eyes, is the worst. Then it moves around to both sides of the back of my neck, where it joins my head. When I turn my head, I hear crackles. I figure that's from stress, from dealing with the pain. Or maybe sinuses can drain around to the back of your head.
Anyhoo... nothing much helps these headaches except a hot shower. But as soon as I get out, the pressure starts again. Aspirin, acetaminophen, and ibuprofen don't get rid of it. The only relief besides living in a hot shower is my vibrator. Yes. You heard my keyboard fingers. My vibrator! You're in for a treat! I have a picture!
I actually have THREE vibrators! The purple one here in my lair, a pink one out by my OPC (Old People Chair), and a blue one in the living room. This one had low batteries, so I visited our battery drawer for two AAAs before descending to my lair for lunch.
What I saw in the battery drawer made my blood run cold. It was not simply the fact that someone had left a SINGLE BATTERY in each of two large packs. It was the appearance of one package. I heard the Psycho stabby music. Three stabs.
What kind of a psycho opens a package like THIS? I guess it would be your everyday average psycho, since a psycho is likely partial to psycho behavior.
"PONY! Come look at this battery package! Did you open it like this? What kind of psycho DOES that?"
"Um. Dad? Because when have you ever known me to use something with batteries?"
"Fair enough. Not since you you were toy age."
"That is disturbing."
"TELL me about it!"
I doubt The Pony was The Ripper. It's not like he replaces low batteries in the TV remote. I've hinted to him at least 3 times, and I still get the on-screen warning, and have to push my own buttons more than once.
How about if you steal the remote? Remove batteries, hide them?
ReplyDeleteI would have to enter the NoValsLand of The Pony's room to affect him by taking his remote. Or I could take the main remote in the living room to shame Hick for his psycho ripping.
DeleteThat ripped open package would really annoy me.
ReplyDeleteIt even had two little trapdoors with perforations, like the package above!
DeleteYou do have sinuses in the back of the skull, as well as the two above the eyes and the two below the eyes. I'd suggest instead of all those other painkillers which haven't worked, you try some antihistamine, but after you've done your daily 44oz diet coke/scratchers run because they can make you drowsy. It might just be hayfever without the usual itchy eyes runny nose, aka the kind I get. All in the sinuses.
ReplyDeletePoint two: WHY are you still hinting at The Pony to change the batteries in the remote? Do it yourself.
Oh my gosh! I DID try Benadryl for an itchy rash that developed from an antibiotic allergy. I was asleep in 10 minutes! Maybe 5! I was watching TV in my recliner, and the next thing I knew, I woke up from a 2-hour nap.
DeleteI should have known, because they gave it to me at the ER one time with my first allergic reaction to another antibiotic, and my head felt like a balloon floating away. Right before I fell asleep with my head against the car window. GOOD THING they asked if I had a driver before they gave it to me!
The Pony comes down to watch selected TV shows with me. I have hinted as the message pops up on screen. Then I forget about it until it's another day, in the wee hours of the morning when I'm watching by myself. I'm not hiking up 13 rail-less steps for batteries! I'm not smart enough to write myself a note to bring batteries down the next day.
Go and get the batteries right now! Keep a spare pack by your TV.
DeleteOh, no! I forgot them AGAIN today! It's not quite 9:00 p.m. yet, so maybe I'll go up and get them.
DeleteLeave it to River to have an answer to everything. I think she is right about antihistamines, maybe a low dose.
ReplyDeleteI might just could be guilty of opening a package like that...perforations frustrate me...don't even get me started on crappy checkbook check perforations!
Since I started using Walmart checks, they tear off just fine. Not like those overly-expensive checks from the bank.
DeleteI have trouble with the perforations on billing statements. They don't fold them quite right, and then the perforations seem to make that part of the paper stronger, and it rips raggedly and sometimes takes a bite out of the account number!
I also have trouble opening the Puffs With Lotion box. Still, it doesn't look like a PSYCHO attacked it!
Benadryl is the main ingredient in over the counter sleep aids. You need a decongestant. that will help break up all the secretions and give you some relief. I cannot remember the name of the one I want to suggest. Just know that I will have that at the back of my mind all day, tickling away. I will remember in the wee hours of the night ....
ReplyDeleteTick, tick...
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