VALcrosoft Nerd.
No, he was not a Christmas gift. He was a before-Christmas non-gift, bought by Val her own self, for the low, low price of $16.99, which was
I'm sure you will all be
Yes, I was still wearing Old Baby Blue up until October. Of 2018! The cuffs were no longer attached. The elbow holes were so advanced that my arms grew cold when in contact with the countertop that acts as my corner desk in my dark basement lair. Something had to be done.
Now don't you worry about Old Baby Blue. He rests comfortably on the counter, atop some Walmart sacks and a box of plastic forks and stack of old magazines in the lair.
Anyhoo...VALcrosoft Nerd is very comfortable, with a soft, soft surface, two side pockets, and an insulating factor that outwarms that of Old Baby Blue. Some days, I think my cold, cold heart might even grow lukewarm.
See how smooth VALcrosoft Nerd lays against my crepey old skin? Oh, yeah. That's my new Garmin Fit-Bit-Thingy that Genius gave me for Christmas. But we're not here to discuss that today. The spotlight is on VALcrosoft Nerd.
I asked The Pony what he thought of VALcrosoft Nerd, and he said, "Meh. Not really my style." Which I take as a rousing endorsement, knowing how he scorned Old Baby Blue.
I may be a couple months late with the announcement, but I rang in the New Year with my new functional buddy, VALcrosoft Nerd.
You need to keep VALcrosoft Nerd away from Old Baby Blue, he may fear the future.
ReplyDeleteRight now, VALcrosoft Nerd pays no attention to Old Baby Blue. It's as if my former faithful companion does not exist, even though he is sprawled four feet away. Kind of like old people don't exist for today's young whippersnappers, who can't imagine themselves ever growing old.
DeleteHe does look very warm and snuggly, much more comfortable than Old Blue, who will now be used as cleaning cloths to dust off Delly? Or perhaps you could cut off the entire back section from Old Blue with a sleeve length attached and use it as an adult bib to catch the mustard sauce drips?
ReplyDeleteRight now, Old Baby Blue is being used as a hand towel, since I forgot to bring one down to the NASCAR bathroom. I dry my hands on him as I walk back to New Delly.
DeleteAdult bib! Oh, the indignity! I suppose you felt that it would be crossing the line to suggest Old Baby Blue could serve as an adult diaper!
Adult diapers never crossed my mind. I merely wish to save the new top from the indignity of mustard sauce drips.
DeleteI am being extra careful with VALcrosoft Nerd now. Leaning over my plate to spare him the mustardy indignities.
DeleteTime to pitch Old Baby Blue? I like your replacement, maybe because I have a red one.
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike, and keep warm with nerdy jackets! Though some are more flamboyant than others...
DeleteI don't see anything wrong with Old Baby Blue!!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I can't bear to throw him away! He has character.
DeleteOld Baby Blue does, indeed have character!
ReplyDeleteYes, and according to some, his former wearer IS a character!
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