What Hick Does Instead of Letting Grass Grow Under His Feet

Let the record show that we have an area in the front yard where grass is sparse. It's been an ongoing degrassination. I guess it started when we got the chickens. At one time, there were 36 or more chickens free-ranging across the yard. You'd think chickens wouldn't make much impact on the 4 of our 10 acres that are cleared of woods. However...did you ever see a chicken pen with a grass floor? Not past two days of having chickens in it, I bet.

Then Hick started his goat dynasty. At one time, there were 13 goats (Hick is not superstitious) being herded across the yard. The Pony would let them out, and they'd follow the one lead goat, Goatrude, wherever she decided to graze. They were pretty well-behaved, those goats, and only crossed over the gravel road one time. Their worst habit was standing on hind legs to eat my lilac bush.

The Pony didn't have to follow them with a crook-ed staff. He sat on the front porch, and when they strayed, or he was ready to come back in after serving his hour or two playing computer games on his laptop (there's an electrical outlet on the porch), he would clap his hands, and Goatrude would run toward him. Then The Pony would run toward the goat pen, step aside, and they'd all run in. It helped that he always gave them a scoop of grain when they returned.

All along, Hick has used the front yard as an easement to get to the BARn, and later to Shackytown Main Street. At one time, Hick must have driven 15 or more vehicles across the front yard. Not to mention his Gator now, several times a day.

As I believe I mentioned...we have an area in the front yard where grass is sparse.

Hick said he bought some grass seed at the auction the other night. He's been saying that when we get a nice day, without a downpour, with temps out of the 30s, and no gusty winds to blow it away...he's going to sow his seed. Heh, heh! You know what I said.

Anyhoo...Sunday night, Hick said he was going to spread that grass seed on Monday. I never did see him out front. I found a Lowe's receipt on the kitchen counter when I got up. And I saw Hick right before I went to town, sitting on the long couch. It was a bit disconcerting, not having any idea where he was, then walking out of the shower to find him there. Again, no mention of his plans. Only a comment that he'd gone up to his storage unit, and the wind was really cold.

Indeed, at 34 degrees when I left for town, that wind chill felt like it was in the teens or low 20s. The sun was intermittent, and when I came home, there was no evidence of Hick. I resisted the urge to send him a text to see where he was. I sure didn't want him to think he should come home!

At 2:40, I got a text.

"My new fishing pool display rack for selling poles"

I will admit that I spent almost a minute looking for a pool, trying to figure out where he took that picture. Then I realized that it was Hick-text, and deduced that he meant a fishing POLE display rack. Plus I saw the holes he'd bored into that $24 worth of wood he bought at Lowe's. I reminded him that he needed to reimburse the household account for that money spent on his Storage Unit Store. It was as if Hick had set a trap for me!

"UH UH! I spent MY money on grass seed! So it's a trade!"

Not sure if he actually spent $24 on auction grass seed. He didn't show me THAT receipt.

Anyhoo...Hick has been buying bunches of fishing poles and reels at the auctions. They usually cost him around $1.00-$2.50 apiece in bulk. Then he sells them for $5.00. He seems to be doing a lot of business in them lately.

Hick overheard a guy up at his Storage Unit Store location asking one of the other sellers, who's a carpenter, if he'd make him a fishing pole rack. The carpenter said, "What do you mean?" And the guy said, "Like that one over there. And pointed to the other rack that Hick had made a couple weeks ago, that keeps blowing over when the wind kicks up.

"That carpenter guy said he didn't think it would be worth the time for him to do it, for what he'd have to charge. And the other guy told him to think about it."

"You should have told him that YOU could build him a fishing pole rack! You could charge him $50.00, and you'd make a good profit. How long did that take you to make?"

"It took me about 2 hours, once I had the lumber. I have to be careful. I didn't want to step on that carpenter's toes. If the guy comes back and the carpenter doesn't want to do it, I might offer to build it. You can't go making the sellers around you mad."

When I mentioned the grass seeding, Hick said, "I'll do that tomorrow."

We'll see. Literally. It's right out the front window.