A Day Late But Not Even a Semblance of Being Short

You probably know by now that Val is not an impulsive kind of gal. Slow and steady wins the race. Or at least keeps you from getting disqualified. Sure, you won't get the trophy and adulation of a winner. But at least people know you plod along, persistently, and you're not a quitter.

Last Saturday, spur of the moment, Hick suggested that we take a trip to the casino. Having just pulled T-Hoe into the garage with my 44 oz Diet Coke, I declined. Yes. That's right. Val turned down a trip to the casino. That's because she was not prepared.

Yesterday, at 12:45, my sister the ex-mayor's wife sent me a text as I was buckling up and starting T-Hoe for the short drive from Casey's to the Gas Station Chicken Store to get my magical elixir.

"Do you guys want to go to that casino here in just a little while?"

"TODAY?"

"Yeah. We are all about being spontaneous."

Let the record show that Sis had talked about going to a casino down south, in the river metropolis most famous as being the hometown of a certain conservative radio talk show host. She and the ex-mayor have been there a couple times. Hick and I have never tried it.

Well. Lightning doesn't hit Val twice without spurring her into action. Thus began an effort to track down Hick and verify his schedule for the day. Further communications with Sis to set an itinerary and travel plan. And put the kibosh on my 44 oz Diet Coke. Even three minutes later, and Sis's proposed outing would have been a no-go.

Hick and I both went back home, gathered our gambling bankrolls, traded our separate vehicles for A-Cad, and drove to Sis's house to pick up our partners in (casino gambling probably run by organized) crime. It was 2:00 by the time we left home, and 4:30 when we arrived at the casino. And 4:45 before we each had a player's card. Sis and the ex-mayor don't like to use them, because they think it affects their payout. Let the record show that Sis and the ex-mayor emerged winners at the end of the night, while Val and Hick did not.

A pleasant surprise in signing up for player's cards was that on MONDAYS, members over 50 get a FREE buffet! So you know where we ate. Also, let the record show that the ex-mayor went first in getting a player's card, and took about 13 of those 15 minutes. There were only two workers, and the elder one was chatting with a crony who was NOT getting a player's card. Another worker returned to the desk, and we watched as THREE new people went through her line, garnering player's cards, while we waited behind the ex-mayor.

Sis went over to the elder worker, and pointedly asked if the lady talking to her was getting a card. She said NO and left, so Sis started her process right there. The ex-mayor finally finished, and Hick took his spot. I moved over to the new gal. Well! She took my ID, made me a card, offered me one of those bright yellow stretchy lanyard thingies (which I declined) and handed me my new player's card. Hick and Sis were still engaged. Heh, heh! The thought of them ever reading that sentence fills me with glee!

I went over to stand by Sis, who was getting a receipt thingy for a future free buffet and $25,000 drawing, and having the current free buffet explained to her. Which I did not get! The elder worker finished up with Sis, and said she'd scan my card so I got a free buffet too. What in the NOT-HEAVEN? I suppose my card-maker was either an imposter, or she didn't think I looked like I was over 50!!! I must make a note to bring up that possibility with Sis the next time I communicate with her!

Anyhoo...there was a nice selection of machines at this casino. It was clean and full of old people and not so busy that you couldn't get on a slot that you liked with zero or minimal waiting. AND it barely smelled at all like smoke. There was a free soda fountain (COKE PRODUCTS) and two restrooms. Along with a bar, but that doesn't check any tally marks on Val's casino perks list. Genius would beg to differ, but he's currently hoarding his salary and not gambling with it.

We hit the FREE buffet at 6:30. I wish I'd taken some pics (to prove that it happened), but I was going on only a half-sandwich of a slice of TREET for lunch after no breakfast, and I was not letting any grass grow under my feet before partaking of the FREE buffet. In fact, we were congenially shown to our table by a guy who could have doubled for the John Coffey in The Green Mile, and while Hick, Sis, and Ex-Mayor sat down...I continued to stand. Because, you know, John Coffey had just told us we could help ourselves to the buffet, and I didn't see any need for delay, or to bend my knees unnecessarily.

Mmm...I had some Mongolian Beef, rice, mini eggrolls, a roll, fried chicken (!), pulled pork, chili, pizza, chocolate cake, and a cinnamon roll. THIS is why Val tries to stay away from buffets!!! Let the record show that I did not eat ALL of EVERYTHING. The chili was too spicy, the pizza inedible because it was limp and tasted faintly like vomit upon first bite (probably something to do with the cheese). The cinnamon roll was too cinnamony (said Sis) and too dried out. The chocolate cake was too big, and a bit dry. So I only had a couple sample bites of those items.

I DID enjoy the Mongolian Beef, which had a kick to it after swallowing. And the rice, of which I took very little, only to pair with the Mongolian Beef. The mini eggrolls were so good that I had two. The roll was okay, just a store-bought kind, it seemed. The pulled pork was delicious. I ate it plain, though Sis made a slider with hers. She also had homemade tater tot casserole, which she forced me to try a bite of, and I found it bland, and a BBQed hot dog, which I did not try. The ex-mayor sat across from me, and went back to make a salad after his meaty plate. I really wanted a salad, but I was stuffed. Which is why I didn't START with a salad, because, as Hick says, "It's filler." There was even sugar free cherry pie and lemon custard pie for Hick! He only had the cherry. Because he, too, was stuffed with meat.

We rolled out of the restaurant at 7:07, and went back into the casino until 8:00. I wanted to bring a cup of ice cubes with me in the car, but you know casinos. They frown upon letting open cups walk out. Sis had a cup of soda as we headed for the front. I bemoaned my ice plan, and she said, "You don't KNOW that they won't let you bring out ice." True. But I figure policy is pretty much policy, and didn't feel like setting myself up to be chastised. I'll be ding-dang-donged if Sis didn't walk right out of that place with her cup of soda! And there was a dude sprawled on a chair out in the lobby area with a soda cup as well! You live and you learn, I guess.

The drive back home flew by, perhaps thanks to our closed eyes trying to put Hick's sweaving out of our minds. We were home by 10:00, which is pretty late to sit down and type up original content on two blogs. I got the supersecret one done, and was pooped out by the time it came to this one.

Let the bulging-like-Val-after-a-buffet record show that I normally type up posts to automatically publish when I know I'm going to be gone for the day.