Thevictorians' Latest Project

The Pony and I were not pleased to hear OH NO from the lady at the title office. We were there to sign papers that would make us the owner of an investment property. Hick had just left, moments earlier, blissfully unaware of this OH NO moment.

"UPS was just here!" Said The Lady, so casually flaunting The Pony's competitor in his face! "He delivered the papers we've been waiting on from Florida, from the seller. But there's a problem..."

We went into a conference room for the signing. The Lady elaborated that the (half-)owner had ONLY SIGNED ONE PAGE! Not even the page that was  most needed. Just the top page of the packet. She showed us the instructions that were included, about signing ALL PAPERS in the presence of a notary public.

Well. We've been waiting for months already. So this was not a shock. Anything that could go wrong kind of had, already. The Pony and I cut eyes at each other. Sighed. And signed our paperwork. We did not blame The Lady. She was efficient and kind. She even offered to bring papers out to the car for me in the future! I politely declined. They have a handicap ramp. And only one step up into the door. Though their rolly chairs terrified me, The Pony stood behind me so I wouldn't roll away as I sat down.

We called Hick while The Lady went into the other room to try and call Half Owner. Hick was down the street, chewing the fat with his Friday buddy. He came right over. And promptly sat in The Lady's seat, even though I told him twice she was sitting there. Then he moved over, and eyed the puffy peppermint candies individually wrapped in a dish near a pencil holder full of pens. Yes, of course he ate one. No telling how many he had during his appointment 15 minutes earlier.

Anyhoo... The Lady returned, saying he hadn't answered. Hick said he thought the guy was coming in on the 1st, because he had a tractor he wanted to remove from the property. I said, "Isn't THIS the 1st? Maybe you should drive over and see if he's there, getting his tractor."

Just then we heard somebody else arrive. The Lady looked out, and it was Half Owner and his brother, the other Half Owner. So all was well. The papers would get signed, the transaction completed, and Hick will pick up final paperwork on Monday.

Not wanting to take the risk of being longwinded (oh, how Val hates to be longwinded, heh, heh) I will continue with details of this property tomorrow. Be forewarned, it will not end there. Another cliffhanger is on your horizon...

If Anything Can Go Wrong...

I had an important financial appointment with The Pony on Wednesday. Hick was going at 1:00, with an actual appointment. I was going to pick up The Pony, and swing by later, just to sign papers, and not have to sit through a bunch of legalese. 

My plan was to leave home at 12:30, pick up The Pony between 1:00 and 1:15, and be at the office by 1:30. Perfectly doable, despite the blacktopping taking place on our county blacktop road. I allowed time for delays.

I was in the garage at 12:25. Decided that maybe I should take my cane, just in case my knees were feeling contrary. Better safe than sorry. I opened A-Cad's door to get it, and saw NO CANE! Then I remembered that I had used it to get into the house after our last trip to the casino. So I closed T-Hoe's back passenger door, where I had planned to place the cane. Back inside I went. Up the porch steps, dogs romping around me, thinking they were getting their return-home treat, AND another going-away snack. 

Cane in hand, I hobbled down the porch steps again. Started T-Hoe, and heard the CHIME CHIME CHIME alert. Huh. What was THAT about? I looked at the dashboard. It was running through all the things that need servicing. I checked the other notifications. Huh. Now ANOTHER tire sensor must have gone bad, because it said I had --- pressure in BOTH rear tires instead of just one. Also, the oil life was at 18 percent left. Note to Hick.

As I went up the driveway, I decided that maybe I ought to check those warnings again. I turned off T-Hoe, and restarted. CHIME CHIME CHIME. Aha! Rear passenger door ajar! So I got out and walked around to see that I had closed the door, but not all the way. It would not have swung open. But I needed to push it all the way to stop the chiming. At least I saw that the rear tires did, indeed, have air in them as I walked around.

I arrived at The Pony's house at 12:59. Good thing I allowed extra time. We were chatting for a  moment when The Pony's phone rang. It was Hick, saying we could get there any time, that the papers were ready. So we cut our conversation short and drove a couple miles back to the office

When we walked in, the lady in charge greeted us by saying, "Oh, no! You're not going to believe this..."

More details tomorrow.

Yet Another Example of People Unable to Perform the Simplest of Jobs Correctly

It is no secret that Val is a frequenter of Dairy Queen. On the nights that Hick goes to play bar bingo, she picks up her supper of a cheeseburger and soft pretzel sticks off the 2-for-$5 menu. It's not breaking the bank, and the food is usually quite tasty. 

I should have known there would be an issue on Tuesday evening. The mini pickup truck ahead of me took 4 minutes to order! I pegged them as the Chicken Basket type. Chicken Baskets take a while to cook. Not somebody I want to be behind. I'd just come from 10Box, and had groceries to carry in without the help of Hick. And now, I was being penalized with extra wait time. I was especially unoptimistic when I saw the woman in the driver's seat pointing her finger and gesturing at the drive-thru speaker.

When I pulled forward to order, the voice from inside was not the middle-aged man, nor the sweet young woman who usually handles my request. It was a mealy-mouthed girl who was barely audible over the speaker. I gave my usual order, and waited an extra minute before she revealed my price.

Indeed, that mini pickup truck took another five minutes waiting for, are you ready for this, TWO chicken baskets, and a bag of something indiscernible. I was thrilled when I pulled up to the window, and the gal handed me my bag before even taking my card. That's a novice for you! What's to keep me from stomping on the gas, speeding away in T-Hoe without handing over my card? Just my honesty, I suppose.

Anyhoo, once I was home, carried in the groceries, put them away, and sat down with my supper... I discovered that I HAD NO QUESO SAUCE! That is standard with the soft pretzels! It comes with them. No need to ask. Three soft pretzel sticks, and a tiny condiment cup of queso sauce!

You can bet they're going to hear about that on my next visit. Though only AFTER I have the bag in my hand. Not taking a chance on them getting revenge by befouling my food!

Quoth the Crow: "Not Ever Again."

I was not happy to see a giant crow land on the rail of the back porch deck. No good can come of that. It's not a regular occurrence. It came after an incident. So it wasn't foreshadowing. It was post-shadowing. 

The Pony had another dog incident last Tuesday. No bite, but an attack that had to be dealt with. The Pony knew this house had a dog problem. So he had his hand on his dog spray as he approached. When the dog came running at him, he gave it a spray. The motion and the wind made it an indirect hit. So The Pony had to spray a second time. That did the trick. Although the dog recovered enough to chase after The Pony's Metris.

Looks like a border collie mix by the markings, not sure about the curled tail. Anyhoo... The Pony called his manager to report the spraying, and found out that this was the second call she had to make that day concerning a dog going after a mail carrier. In fact, the police stopped The Pony to ask if he had been bitten by a dog. The Pony said yes. They wanted to know where the bite was, and if it broke the skin. The Pony said, "Wait, do you mean TODAY? That's not me."

The Pony is having a considerable amount of PTSD concerning his two previous bites. The reminder is still there:

I am sorry that all my helicoptering cannot help.

Nice Vals Finish Last

At the Gas Station Chicken Store on Saturday, I got in line a few seconds before a guy over on the soda fountain aisle. I was actively standing behind the lady who was paying, when That Guy took two steps to stop at the counter. 

When the lady was finished paying, I looked towards That Guy. He had a bottle of orange juice, and a bottle of other drink in his hands.

"You can go ahead."

"No. You go."

"It's fine. I might take a while." I waved my scratchers that I was cashing in.

That Guy said okay, and stepped up. I was just being nice. It's so refreshing not to have some dude jumping ahead of me like he's entitled.

Anyhoo... That Guy asked for a mini pack of airline-size whiskey bottles. I'm not judging. It was Saturday evening. THEN That Guy proceeded to buy lottery tickets! I heard him asking for some of the tickets I buy. Still, I did not mind letting him go ahead. The Universe will do what it sees fit.

When it was my turn, I told my favorite cashier: "I'm gonna be mad if That Guy gets a bunch of winners!"

Well. When I got home and scratched my tickets, all I won was $9, on a $3 ticket. Nothing on my crosswords, and nothing on my ten. 

Sunday, Fave was not at the counter when I walked in. She was stocking the cooler. She hollered: "Whoever's there, I'll be with you in just a minute."

"Don't worry. It's only me!"

As Fave walked up the aisle, she said: "You're going to kill me!"

"Probably not. Why?"

"You know that guy you let go ahead yesterday? He won $100 on that ten you always buy! I felt so bad! I wasn't sure if I should tell you or not!"

"I always like to know. I guess he was meant to get it. I didn't have to let him go ahead. I just felt like it. At least it means my little winning streak continues. Because I WOULD have won that $100, if I took my turn like normal."

I don't begrudge That Guy his win. I'm the one who told him to go ahead. I figure karma will pay me back, with some prodding from Even Steven and The Universe.

Hick's Civic Duty

Hick said that they were seated seven to a pew in the courtroom to begin jury selection. That's the seating arrangement in our county courtrooms. Pews. I'm pretty sure they squeezed more in when I did my own jury duty. Perhaps they are allowing for people being bigger these days.

Anyhoo... I was concerned for Hick, considering his jury number was 010! That means you're right up front! Among the first to be considered. In fact, Hick later revealed that five of the seven people in his pew were selected for the jury!

Hick did not reveal his previous court appearance for running over an old lady with the city fire truck. He said the questions asked did not apply to that. Okay...

Anyhoo... Hick sent me a text around 1:00, saying that he had been chosen for the jury. I knew he couldn't discuss anything about the case. All he revealed was that he was on his way to lunch, and that the judge had recommended that they get two Big Macs instead of one! Presuming that the case might last into the evening. My own jury duty case went until after 11:00 p.m.!

Anyhoo... Hick didn't get a Big Mac. He went to Culver's. I'm assuming he had a burger and fries. Probably a shake as well. He was fortunate that the case didn't take as long as mine. He was home by 8:00. And since the case was over, he could reveal some details.

Well. You know how Hick tells a story. I'm still not sure what that case was about. Hick said an employee at the state mental hospital wanted a felony conviction for a patient who slammed her arm repeatedly with the door to his room. Hick said the jury saw the video recorded at the state mental hospital. He said it showed the employee telling the patient to leave the door open, and the patient closing the door on the employee's arm. At which point the patient walked away. No repeated slamming.

Hick said the jury asked to watch the video again later. To make sure what they saw was not what the plaintiff had stated. He said the decision was unanimous that the patient did not appear to be attacking the employee. He said the jury felt that the employee might be trying to use this incident as a basis for getting a settlement from worker's comp, saying that she was injured on the job, and that her fellow employees did not come to her rescue, so the state was at fault. 

Yes. Some details are missing here, but that's the nature of Hick's stories. All I gathered, basically, is that a patient was not convicted for attacking an employee, just because he closed the door one time after being told not to, and the employee got a bruise on her arm.

Anyhoo... Hick was none the worse-for-wear after spending a day on jury duty. He withheld fluids so he didn't suffer an embarrassing accident, and was home by 8:00, having made a logical decision concerning a court case.

We'll see if he gets called again, and if he's chosen.

High Demand, or Avoided Like the Plague

I mentioned a while back that Hick received notice that he's been chosen for a jury duty term. I can't remember if it's for 3 months or 6 months. Anyhoo... The Pony and I were discussing a scenario when Hick gets called. Which he did, a couple weeks ago.

"I remember that they ask if you've been involved in a court case. I can't remember how they word it, but you have to raise your hand if you have, and then they ask you questions about it. Like if you were a victim, or if somebody sued you. The one time I got picked, I answered that I was familiar with Imminent Domain, because the state took my mom and dad's land to put a highway behind their house. And I got PICKED! For an Imminent Domain case. I was hoping that would disqualify me, but apparently the plaintiff's lawyer wanted me more than the state didn't want me!"

"Just think about what Dad has to say!"

"I know! Imagine how he'll answer the questions:

What was the nature of your case?

I ran over a lady in the city fire truck.

Was it an emergency call?

No. It wasn't the fire engine. Just the rescue truck. She was walking across the street, and I hit her.

Was she hurt?

Her arm was broke. But I got out of the truck and held her hand while she was lying under the truck, in the street, waiting for the ambulance to come.

Were you at fault?

The court said I 'willfully struck her with the fire truck.' But I didn't do it on purpose.

What was the result of your trial?

Lloyds of London paid her a settlement. It wasn't as much as she asked for, and my personal insurance paid the rest.

Yeah. You would expect that might disqualify Hick from being selected. IF he actually answered the questions correctly. Not sure how they worded their queries this time. But Hick said that incident did not come up. 

HICK WAS SELECTED FOR THE JURY! On what seems like a personal injury trial.

That story will be coming up...