A Little Fresh, a Little Canned, a Little Flesh Charred From My Hand

Val ran Croc-shod over the kitchen all day, preparing an Easter Eve feast for the return of the methodical son. He is coming home not to bask in the love of his family, on the first holiday without his grandma, when his mom has gone all-out to nourish him with his favorite foods...but to bring home a piece of photography equipment, and pick up an electronic gewgaw that he ordered from China and had sent here.

Genius's ETA is 5:00 p.m. Everything is ready to eat except the rolls. I shall not make my hungry family wait another hour after the announced meal time while I finish up various dishes for those who won't eat normal holiday feast food.

We will be supping on ham, hash brown potato casserole, bacon-wrapped green bean bundles, deviled eggs, carrots/onions/potatoes roasted with the ham, broccoli/cauliflower/carrots with Hidden Valley Ranch vegetable dip, olives both black and green, pepperjack cheese, and hot rolls. I hope the food coma does not prevent Genius from driving back this evening. I believe I will be able to roll myself down the steps to my dark basement lair to reunite with my New Delly, who has been neglected this afternoon while living-room Shiba fed my computer addiction.

Yes, all is well in the land of Backroads. The house smells tantalizingly of ham and bacon, the egg smell being banished by a hazelnut cream candle before noon. A near-tragedy occurred when Val almost vaporized the three middle fingers of her left hand in a steam accident when loosening the foil on the green bean bundles. She quickly doused them with ice-cold well water from the kitchen faucet, thus preventing permanent disfigurement and life-threatening infection. Perhaps the smoky preservatives in the bacon CURED (see what I did there?) her ailment. Right now it is simply tingling, and not throbbing. It's gonna hurt like a mothe sonofa the dickens when she slides the rolls in and out of the oven and that heat hits it. Even through the oven mitt.

I don't think it will hinder the speed at which I stuff my face with food.