Be Careful What You Wish For (The Pony to Pick Up)

Perhaps I've mentioned that The Pony is my personal shopper. Well, he would be, if he had his driver's license and could be sent to town for provisions every week. Right now, he is my shopping assistant. Believe you me, Val is not one to look a gift Pony in the mouth. That little fella trots all over the store gathering items for me. He really pulls his weight. However...

The Pony has a knack for choosing damaged goods. It's like a sixth sense for him. The tabloid with the staples not on the fold, or six pages where the color is off center, or one corner with overgrown extra paper on every page? That's the one The Pony picks. Or the bread with a deep crevice baked into the top of the loaf, leaving a V of sandwich meat exposed. Or the dented can of Hunts Meat Flavor Pasta Sauce.  Are you pickin' up what I'm layin' down? He manages to do this without even thinking.

Tuesday evening, we stopped by Walmart on the way home. I sent The Pony to the pharmacy area for a large bottle of Germ-X. Have you heard? I have one class that had their Germ-X privileges withdrawn early in the year, due to waste and tomfoolery. Even so, I have run out of Germ-X 63 school days early.

One might assume such a simple task as picking up a large bottle of Germ-X that looks just like my depleted bottle of Germ-X, the same size and style I have used throughout the last 10 years of my career, would be easily accomplished by a child so gifted as The Pony. You know what happens when one assumes.

I didn't look closely at the bottle. After all, I had other items in my cart. The Pony finished fetching, and raced off to look at Valentine cards for his sweetie. It was not until I reached the checkout that I sensed something was rotten in the state of Germ-X. I lifted that bottle out of the cart, and it slimed my hand. What in tarnation had this boy done now? I looked more closely. The top was already unscrewed. So putting it in a bag with other items was not gonna happen. I alerted the checker. "Do you want a different bottle?" Certainly. But did I want to wait for somebody to go find one? No. I told her to put it in a bag by itself.

When The Pony and I reunited, I asked him why he got the bottle of Germ-X that had already been opened. He smashed his forelock with his hoof. "Something else I didn't do right! It was the only bottle I could find. It was just sitting on the shelf. There weren't any more that size."

"I think you grabbed the bottle that was set out for the employees to use. It has definitely been opened, and it's still open. And it's not full."

Yeah. We bought the employee Germ-X allocation. This is what we had. I took a picture as soon as The Pony packed it into school this morning.

It appears that I paid for Germ-X I did not get. Paid for Germ-X that was only minutes before making the skin of the associates so clean and so moist.

You be the judge. As always, I reserve the duties of jury and executioner for myself.