I just got a call from The Pony. He is away at the Missouri Scholars Academy reunion. To say that The Pony has been chomping at the bit and pawing at the turf in anticipation of this event would be an understatement. To say he felt the same way about calling me would be a blatant lie. You know The Pony. He's not really all that interested in helping people, and doesn't particularly care about their feelings.
The reason The Pony called, aside from the no-nonsense command of his father, was to report that he indeed had steak for dinner, as he had hoped, and that he also had LOBSTER! The Pony is not adventurous in the food department. Unless it was called a raw fish stick, and served in a sea of ketchup, I could not imagine him trying this allegedly delectable treat.
"We had steak...and LOBSTER!"
"YOU ate lobster?"
"Uh huh. It was chewy."
"Well...ordering lobster in the center of the continent is a fairly brave thing to do. It's not like it was fresh from a lobster trap Kramer pulled out of the ocean in the Hamptons this afternoon. Did you have to crack it open?"
"It was already cracked, but we had to dig it out."
"Did you dip it in butter?"
"Uh huh."
"I'm surprised you didn't shove the lobster aside and drink the butter."
"I used the butter for dipping the lobster...and bread...and baked potato."
"Yeah. You're still a Butterton."
"Uh huh. It was good."
"How's your room?"
"It has a COUCH!"
"Oh. Then you'll feel right at home, laying sideways on it. Do you and Dad each have your own bed?"
"No. There's just one. But it's HUGE. Like a king size."
"Dad told you to call, didn't he."
"Um...no...well...he DID, but I forgot, and then he reminded me when he got out of the shower. He almost burned himself!"
"That's your daddy! I know you want to get off the phone."
"Um..."
"It's all right. It's like pulling teeth, talking to you on the phone. You can go now."
"Alrightbye."
That's my little Pony. He's really excited about meeting up with his cronies tomorrow. I imagine Hick will make the rounds of the flea markets and Goodwill stores while The Pony is locked in with his nerdy egghead friends from 4:00 until 11:00.
They will both be in their element.
I hate the phone! That's why I love texting. Yup/nope/ok done.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the flea markets and the thrift stores are not open until 11:00. What will Hick do during that "limbo" time?
ReplyDeleteThere's shrinkage?
Oh there will be bargains for the BARn and trophies to be won. Sounds like the boys are having fun.
ReplyDeleteNot really a phone person myself. Having to call my dad every other day is a true commitment for me! Texting is better, e-mail is much better!
ReplyDeleteLobster ...... I am jealous!
Guess you didn't tell Pony that steak and lobster is known as Surf and Turf.
ReplyDeleteEgghead Pony will no doubt be able to earn millions one day and he can buy us all lobster.
ReplyDeleteWhat great adventures your gentlemen are having. Steak and lobster and flea markets and Good Will. Sounds like a fun weekend. Hope you're having fun too!
ReplyDeleteDonna,
DeleteI asked Hick this afternoon what The Pony was wearing today for his reunion. "Oh, I don't know. He had on khakis. Oh, yeah. And a shirt."
That was no more informative that if I used my imagination. "Shirt? What kind of shirt?"
"I don't know. A shirt. Some kind of pullover shirt. Not his white collared one for the dinner tonight."
I guess it's good to know that The Pony and Hick both had sense enough to make sure he was covered by pants and a shirt. I didn't even want to ask about shoes. Not since the trip to Walmart last week and the barefoot Adidas slides with his khakis.
joeh,
ReplyDeleteI hate texting, yet tolerate the phone. If our paths ever cross, and we order a meal with our dirty-water cocktail, I'm telling you right now that I will have the fat, and you will have the lean.
*****
Sioux,
Speaking of shrinkage (and not, like, laundry)...Hick said he might go sit in the hotel whirlpool. Hope nobody walks in on him while he's changing!
*****
Linda,
I think that separately, each in his own way, they are having fun. Together...not so much.
*****
Kathy,
Well, a lot of your work deals with the phone, so I can see the aversion. Can't jump on the lobster bandwagon. It looks like a big ol' insect to me.
*****
Catalyst,
I did not. The Pony is not a very worldly fellow, which I am sure comes as a shock. His steak knowledge was garnered from having it at home off the grill, or from a chain restaurant like Colton's Steak House, or Outback. I daresay he's never even been inside a Red Lobster. So this was indeed an adventure for The Pony. It must have been on special, because I don't know how else Hick could have convinced him to order it and take a bite.
The surf and turf will have to wait. I have plenty on my plate trying to teach The Pony terms he might encounter from his peers. Such as the significance of 420, why they consider Amsterdam the ultimate vacation spot, and what the doobie stands for in The Doobie Brothers. We have not yet gotten to flash cards with pictures of Bob Marley and Cheech and Chong.
*****
Stephen,
I am confident in The Pony's earning capacity. But you're forgetting one vital detail. The Pony is not really interested in helping people. So it will not spontaneously occur to him to buy us all lobster. If we choose a representative to ask, I'm sure his response, as always with his affirmative answers, will be, "Sure. Why not?"