Mom is doing well after her surgery. Hick reported that she was a bit nervous before the big event, but had calmed down by the time they wheeled her into the operating room at 7:32. After three-and-a-half hours, she was being stitched up. Hick and my sister the ex-mayor's wife got to go see her for five minutes in the recovery room. Five minutes every hour. Mom finally got a room of her own around 3:00.
MSTEMW sent me two pictures of Mom to show that she was okay. Mom was smiling, but I think that was the anesthesia talking. She had a little bit of a black eye on her surgery cheek, and a patch. The surgeon took some skin from her leg to close up the incision where he took out a hunk from her face. Hope Mom doesn't get the jimmy-leg while she's sleeping, like a dog when you scratch its belly. That could lead to some interesting YouTube videos. Not that I would do anything like that, of course.
I sent MSTEMW a text about the picture. "Is that a patch?" Because it was an oval, like an Anjou pear, only the orange color of a new pebbly basketball. And it looked like the edges were stitched into Mom's skin.
"Yes. What did you THINK it was, another ear? Did you think the doctor gave her an extra ear?" I really don't know where MSTEMW gets her sense of humor.
"No. I thought it might have been leg skin."
"Oh, the leg skin is there, but we didn't get to see it. It's under the patch."
So...Mom called me this evening to report that's she's doing fine. Her throat is a little sore from the anesthesia tube. She has a roommate. "But I can't...um...there might be a story there when I get out." Heh, heh. I've even got my post-surgery mom gathering material for me!
Mom also reported that she got the surgery prep team tickled. "I told them, 'This is my daughter, and this is my son-in-law.' And they got funny looks on their faces. Then your sister started in. 'I'M her daughter. But we're not together.' She pointed at Hick. Then she said, 'I don't want you to think we're divorced. Because we're not. We're not even together.' That went on for a while, until I said, 'Oh, that's my OTHER daughter's husband.' But that might have made it worse, because then they really looked confused."
Mom said she's not in any pain right now. And that while she was out of it, that surgeon even took off an EXTRA skin lesion from her neck. She had told him before surgery that her doctor said it was nothing to worry about, and the surgeon agreed, but said he might as well take it off as long as he was cutting anyway, then she'd never have to worry about it. So Mom agreed. That surgeon! I guess he's a taker, not a giver.
Mom should get to come home tomorrow if nothing goes wrong overnight. She said the staff was surprised she was eighty. They talked about her, apparently, like she was a precocious toddler. "And she lives by herself, and cleans her own house!
They're probably just glad she didn't ask for wine with her meal, or some heroin. Can't wait to hear Mom's roommate story.
My goodness. What a horrible daughter you are. Forcing your poor mother--who's just out of surgery--to snag some post ideas for you.
ReplyDeleteIf she didn't have a quirky roommate, would you have instructed her to wander the halls--her gown only halfway closed in the back--or go up and down and up and down in the elevator until she found something Val-worthy?
It seems your mother is like a sponge--soaking up squirrely stories. I'm tempted to go as far as say, "She's a worthy sponge."
Knowing Mother-of-Val, any roommate will be made interesting just by being in her presence.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your mother's successful surgery. And even with the extra work the time was reduced from 5 to 3-1/2 hours. BTW, you might ask the surgeon if he took any selfies during the procedure.
ReplyDeleteBut did they give her any slaw? That's what I want to know.
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteYes, my mom is a worthy sponge. They're not making any more, you know! I should have given her a clipboard with a pen attached by a shoestring, to make sure she collected stories for me. She might have seen a PIG MAN!
And what a horrible MADAM you are to tell me what a horrible daughter I am. It's not like I drew angry eyebrows on her with a Sharpie.
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Birdie,
Yes, the telling of the tale always makes Mom's encounters more interesting.
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Catalyst,
Yeah. Like she got a mark-down. My sister the ex-mayor's wife actually asked the doctor why it only took three-and-a-half hours. He said, "Well, I didn't cut any corners, if that's what you're getting at." She's probably going to end up in his stand-up routine when he chucks the whole surgical oncology thing and hits the circuit.
*****
Stephen,
NO! Mom has been slawless for more than 48 hours. I hope she doesn't suffer severe withdrawal symptoms. She's on a soft diet for two weeks, so she doesn't chew her leg off.