I got a notice a while back that my driver's license needs to be renewed. I've only known it would happen for six years now. That's when I last renewed. It wreaked havoc with a casino visit, because my new license had not yet arrived by mail. Can you believe they wouldn't take the expired one??? Even though it was clearly me, and had been me for all the years I used that license there before it expired. Just like bad milk, Val was good one day, and poison the next! At least I had that tiny slip of paper the DMV gave me to use during the interim. Which was perfectly fine with those casino people, even though it seems to me that such a "document" could be more easily faked than a laminated picture license.
Anyhoo... I am not looking forward to this renewal. It's only in Backroads, a ten minute drive from home. But that office sits over the gaping collapsing hole down into the lead mines. I do not want to dawdle! Also, I do not relish having my picture taken. My lovely lady-mullet is quite straggly. I make no pretense of coloring it since I've retired, and don't need to present a less-feeble front to 180 students per day who might be tempted to overthrow my authority.
Anyhoo... I asked Hick if he would trim my hair. Just the length, back to shoulder level. He did it before with not-too-bad results. The Pony did a great job one time, while living here right after college. Then the second time not-so-great. I'm hoping it was not one of those "so she'll never ask me again" tactics.
Anyhoo... Hick came home between gallivanting and the auction, so I commanded that he accompany me to the back porch overlooking POOLIO. Believe me, it was tough handing Hick a pair of scissors and turning my back!
We had just begun, two hanks of hair cut, when Hick's phone rang. He not only stopped to look at the caller, but he ANSWERED the call! He not only answered the call, but he KEPT CUTTING WHILE TALKING!!! The dogs were so shocked at this behavior that they got up from their spectating area and walked around by the kitchen. It didn't take long for Hick to finish. Thankfully with both hands again.
"I hope this isn't too bad. You know it might be the last picture I ever have taken. Six more years. That might be my last driver's license before I die!"
The Pony snickered when I said I was going to get my license renewed this week. "Make sure you take a good picture, heh, heh!"
Seriously. How much worse could it be? Surely no worse than my worst-ever driver's license picture, that even made my own mom laugh uncontrollably.
The picture Genius set to come up when I called his cell phone. He said it made my head look like a view of the earth from space.
The picture The Pony said made me look like a cross between a person from a giant communist country known for making cheap knockoffs, and an inebriated south-of-the-border person. Oh, and I believe that description began with the word "bloated." [No offense to any people who have giant communist country heritage, nor those south of the border, nor alcoholics, nor bloated people!]
I can hardly wait to see how my driver's license picture turns out! NOT! I will probably be put on a watch list. If I'm not already on there from ordering a 3rd Grade Pony his requested Christmas present of a computer CD to learn Arabic.
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