You Only Turn 21 Once

Genius hit the big 2-1 last week. Or perhaps I should say at the END of last week.

Maybe you remember what it meant to turn 21. I was in college, living in a dorm, because junior college was good enough for VAL, and I didn't have ready-made friends to live with on (or should I say OFF) a distant campus. My hall made me a big ol' poster, signed by each and every one, with some questionable graphics, and in big balloon letters: LEGAL! Let the record show that Val was already the go-to gal when it came to needing a ride, what with her having a car on campus. My net worth only increased with my 21-ness.

Uh huh. The 21st birthday is a big deal. Genius has no doubt been planning for this day since he left the crib.

Well. That's not quite true. He never would stay in his crib, preferring to sleep between Hick and me in the bed when he was an infant, or on the couch with his head up in Hick's hairy armpit in the evening, or in the mechanical swing if I could trick him into not turning into a starfish to avoid placement there, or on the couch in the living room after midnight once he was toddling, but mostly not at all. Forget naptime. That kid never had time to slow down.

Genius got a notice last month that his driver's license had to be renewed on his birthday. I sent him the paperwork. We had a conversation about how the DMV does not work on Saturday. I thought maybe he could take his information there on Friday afternoon, and see if they would renew it. Apparently, the DMV in College Town hires honey badgers.

"Mom! She was so rude. 'No. We can't renew it. It's not expired until tomorrow. Well. We COULD renew it. But it would still be an UNDER-21 license. Because you're not 21 yet. You could come back Monday and have it changed, but you would have to pay the fee again.' Can you believe that? So if they renewed it, I would still have a vertical license. That's what they look at when they card people. The UNDER-21 is vertical, and the other one, like you and Dad have, is horizontal. I am NOT going to go through pointing out my birth date on my license for six years! But now I will be driving without a license on Sunday. And Monday, until I get to the license office."

Sucks to be Genius, I guess.

Because the checker at Walmart gave him attitude, too.

"I went to Walmart this morning to get supplies for our party tonight. The checker was really hateful with me. She asked to see my ID, and then said, 'It's your birthday.' And gave me a look. Real grouchy. Not even a 'Happy Birthday.' Just 'It's your birthday."

"Well, she might have wondered why you were there at 6:00 a.m. buying alcohol."

"It wasn't 6:00 a.m. But pretty close. Still. She didn't have to take an attitude with me."

Alas, my poor special unicorn. He was also cheated out of voting in his first presidential election by three weeks. So sad. The Pony and Genius will vote in their first election next year. That is certainly sticking in Genius's craw as well.

At least I have promised him a trip to the casino when he comes home for Christmas.