From the One Hick's Junk is Another Pony's Treasure files...
Sometimes, Hick scores a keeper. Take, for instance, his thoughtful purchase
at last night's auction. Not for himself, of course. He bought himself a
duck. A ceramic, bowl-shaped, lidded, jewelry-holder type of duck. Made
in Italy! Or so Picker Hick proclaimed. I have no photo, because after
traipsing into the house this morning to show it to me, in a manner that
would have done Carol Merrill proud, she of the Monty Hall Let's Make a
Deal spokesmodel era, even though she did not speak, Picker Hick hopped
into his Gator (excuse me for calling it a Mule in previous posts--The
Pony has now set me straight on the John Deere brand), much to the delight
of the muttly trio, (who roused themselves to yip and yap and run
circles around Picker Hick while waiting for him to put it in gear), and
whisked it off to his cabin or BARn for suitable display amongst his
Yeah. I'm practicing to enter the Guinness Book of Longest Run-On Sentences contest.
Picker Hick often buys items for The Pony. Not because he's a loving father who
enjoys showering his youngest son with other people's cast-offs as
gifts. But because he's got the fever. The buying fever. And he knows
that he can get that rush from bidding and purchasing, and then get
reimbursed from the First National Bank of The Pony. Insured by the VTIC
(Val Thevictorian Insurance Corporation). Most often, these gifts fall
into the category of random collector swords that single men had to give up when the new wife put her foot down. But Saturday night's Pony purchase was a book. That's right! You heard it here first. No need to catch it on the 11:00 news.
Picker Hick bought The Pony a book!
just any book. Something The Pony is actually interested in. Which is a
double miracle, what with Picker Hick being the man who, upon moving my
belongings into the House That Hick Built, arranged random tomes on the living room
bookshelf based on LOOKS. He put the prettiest books on display. No
matter whether it was Stephen King's unabridged The Stand, or a
freshman year textbook for Composition and Rhetoric. Which appeared in
my possession mysteriously, since I tested out of that class and
obtained three hours of college credit on my transcript for free.
only did Picker Hick buy The Pony a book pertinent to his tastes...he got
it for a song! No, Picker Hick did not actually have to warble a tune, most
likely The Oak Ridge Boys' classic, Elvira, to obtain this book. He paid the low down rock bottom price of FOUR DOLLARS. And look at it:
Pony's photo from my phone does not do it justice. That's his phone on
top of it, to show the scale. This is a grand hardback coffee table book
of archaeology. With glossy color photos inside. Just the ticket for a
lad who has a love for ancient Greek and Roman history. And owns his
very own Indiana Jones fedora and whip.
Kudos to Picker Hick. If I could only get him to do my Christmas shopping at the auction.