Friday, October 25, 2024

The Disinformation of the Dumplings

The Senior Center served chicken and dumplings on Tuesday. Hick told a dining companion that his wife's was much better. The woman said hers never turn out right, and asked for the recipe. Here it is, just for comparison.
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Six Can Chicken and Dumplings

2 cans chicken broth
2 cans cream of chicken soup 
2 cans white meat chicken
8 flour tortillas, 10-inch
2 tbsp butter 
1 tbsp minced garlic
black pepper 

cut tortillas into 2-inch squares
add butter, garlic, pepper to broth and soup, bring to a boil
stir in tortilla squares, boil 5 minutes, stirring frequently
remove from heat, stir in chicken
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Very simple. So simple that Hick thought he could give my recipe to a random woman who occasionally eats at the Senior Center. Even though he's never seen me make it, nor read the recipe. He has, perhaps, unloaded the ingredients from a grocery bag.

Here are Hick's instructions to Random Gal:

"I think I know what she does. She boils the chicken broth and cuts the tortillas in about 1-inch-long sheets."

"Sheets?"

"No. I said STRIPS. One-inch-long STRIPS."

"NO! You don't eat 10-inch-long dumplings! I cut them in 2-inch squares. Did you tell her about the cream of chicken soup?"

"No. I didn't tell her that."

"Did you tell her I add minced garlic and black pepper and butter before boiling the broth and soup?"

"No."

"And that when it boils you add the tortillas, and keep stirring them for 5 minutes? No more, no less. THEN take it off the burner and add the chicken."

"No..."

"Did you even say what kind of chicken?"

"I said you use the canned chicken, and chicken breast."

"Yeah. That makes it better. More chicken."

"The chicken and dumplings we had were the kind that hurts your eyes, looking for the chicken. It was stringy shredded chicken."

"Does she live upstairs?"

"No. She comes in every now and then. She said she hardly ever cooks, but this sounded so simple that she thought she'd try it."

"She's going to have a runny mess of the worst thing she every ate, if she makes it the way you told her! I'll be a laughingstock! You have her putting 10-inch-long tortilla strips in chicken broth! I'd write down the actual recipe for her if you'd give it to her."

Seriously. Would YOU try to cook a recipe that Hick gave you out of his head?

16 comments:

  1. Only if it required 1 ingredient. Ranee

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  2. No, I would not make it the way he said. Hopefully, he will give her the recipe before she ruins her food.

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    1. She said she doesn't cook much, but surely she would know that such a recipe does not seem right...

      I gave Hick the recipe on a note card, and last I saw, it was in his pocket. I told him to leave it in SilverRedO until he goes to the Senior Center again for lunch. He said he was going today. He's probably already lost the recipe.

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  3. That is funny! No, I would absolutely not try a Hick recipe! HeWho would try to give out my kitchen secrets, too. I never worry, knowing he would not get any of it right.

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    1. I don't want people to think that's how I cook!

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  4. No, I wouldn't try a recipe from Hick either. Ha! Hopefully the lady doesn't try making it based on his instructions. I need a recipe written down before I try making it because I know I won't remember it if someone just tells me.

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    1. Yes, I really hope she doesn't try making it that way! Hick cannot be trusted in a kitchen, nor explaining what happens in a kitchen.

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  5. Too funny! Hopefully she'll actually get the correct recipe next time. Since she doesn't cook, she might never try it!

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    1. If she tried it, she might think Hick was pranking her. He hasn't been back to the Senior Center since that day. Didn't go today as he had planned.

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  6. Nope, Hick would not have made it in my business, as a reporter.

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    1. He barely gets the WHAT part, and that is lacking specifics!

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  7. It does sound like he told her one INCH strips, so these would be FLAT dumplings, not the round puffy kind my mum used to make by mixing flour and whatever else and they would bob to the top of the soup then she would turn them over and they'd just bob around soaking up flavours on the outside while the inside was soft and fluffy? I can't make them no matter what recipe I use.

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    1. I've never had round puffy dumplings that floated. Not even the delicious kind my grandma made from scratch. These thicken up a little as they boil, but not as thick as my grandma's dumplings.

      I was astounded to think that Hick believed he'd been eating dumplings 10 inches long. Which they would be, if I only cut those 10-inch tortillas into strips one way.

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    2. I make the dumplings like River refers to using Bisquick. I don't know if my mom used it or not, but surely got the idea from someone wiser than me. Key to success, I have found, is making sure the broth/soup is boiling before dropping in the dumplings, as they will float, almost immediately. Then simmer 10 minutes, covered then uncover, simmer 10 minutes more. I have had them fail and be extremely firm and the other failure was having them fall completely apart and super thicken the broth/soup. The later was because it wasn't hot enough before I added the dollops of batter, the firm, I think, was not enough milk when I mixed it up. Not sure. Ranee (I do have plans for chicken and dumpling for next week, as the temps are supposed to get to "normal" for this time of year and I think a hot soup will hit the spot. I hope my dumplings don't fail.)

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    3. I hope your dumplings are a success! I am not that ambitious, to try the Bisquick method. Hick likes the way the 6-Can Dumplings turn out, so that's good enough for me! Five minutes cooking compared to 20 minutes seals the deal. If I was trying to impress company, I would try the Bisquick. ;)

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