Saturday, September 28, 2024

Still Pretty Sure That My Imminent Demise Is Being Attempted By Hick

Thursday morning at 9:30, I was sitting on the short couch, minding my own business, watching People Puzzler and writing my weekly letter to Genius. The dogs started barking in a frenzy. Their STRANGER bark, like when UPS or FedEx shows up. The only package I'm expecting was due to arrive between Friday and Monday. Still, I hoisted my rumpus off the couch, and hobbled to the door. By the time I got there, the barking had transferred from in front of the house over to the Shackytown Boulevard area.

Looking out, I saw the tails of all three dogs (well, Scarlett's stub tail was not quite visible at that distance) raised like flags as they proceeded down Shackytown Boulevard to the BARn field. Parked by Hick's burn pile was a two-tone brown Chevy pickup.

A MAN WAS WALKING ACROSS THE FIELD! AS I WATCHED, HE LEANED OVER TO GRAB HICK'S JUNK!

What in the Not-Heaven??? I closed the door and went to get my phone to call Hick.

"Is anybody supposed to be over in the BARn field right now?"

"No. Not that I know of. There shouldn't be."

"There's a guy in a brown truck parked by your burn pile, and he's walking over by your junk pile."

"Go ask him what he's doing?"

"Really? Are you sure? I can't walk over there. I'm here by myself. The dogs are going crazy."

"Just yell from the door, and see what he does."

"Okay..."

So off I went to the front door, my holey sweatpants falling down, to holler: "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE?"

The guy yelled something I couldn't understand, because of the dogs barking. Of course that made Jack and Scarlett run over to jump on me at the porch, while Copper Jack the neighbor dog followed along behind the guy who was WALKING TOWARDS ME!

Guy was wearing camouflage pants, and a brownish-gray t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. That itself might strike fear into city-dwellers, but it's almost a redneck uniform around here. As he got closer to the porch, Guy said:

"Hick told me I could burn my copper out here."

"Oh. Well. I just talked to him, and he said nobody was supposed to be over there. So I'm just trying to find out what's going on."

"Yeah. I'm the one who fixed your water leak by the well, and finished Hick's brick sidewalk over there. And he said when I wanted to, I could burn my copper."

"Well... I guess that's all right."

"Here. This is probably him now. Yeah. I'm out here, and talking to her right now."

Indeed. Guy's phone DID ring. He said it was Hick. So I said I was sorry for the trouble, but just wanted to know who he was.

I went back inside. The dogs, now best friends with Guy, followed him quietly back to the burn pile. I called Hick.

"Yeah. I forgot I told him he could burn the copper. It was a while back. He didn't tell me he was coming today. But it's fine."

"I really wish you would tell me these things, before I have a heart attack, or embarrass myself yelling at somebody like a crazy woman, holding up my pants with one hand, and fighting off the dogs with the other."

"Yeah. I should have told you. But it's okay."

That's what HE says...

10 comments:

  1. I guess all husbands think like Hick!

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  2. Okay for who, exactly? You? Hick? or the Guy burning the coating off his copper wire? Not okay, unless you are in the know, which includes what, where, when and who. At least a warning of the possibility and what the guys truck looks like, so you have an idea of what's going on. Good grief, Hick...it wouldn't take much effort to text Val when you have these discussions. Ranee

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    1. I'm sure this won't come as a shock, but Hick has done the same thing before! Except that when I call, he says, oh, he forgot to tell me who was coming, and for what. The only one he mentioned is the granddaughter 9 months pregnant, coming out with her sister, to take some pictures down by the creekside cabin. Two people I know, who don't look threatening at all.

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  3. I just want to say I resemble that remark up above by Paula C.!

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  4. Well, that was funny in the retelling of it since you are safe now. I would be terrified to be isolated as you are and having a stranger just come up and seem to be up to something. Of course, the dogs barking so furiously add to your stress and drama of the story.
    We had a dog like that in the city. He had a feeble bark to answer other dogs in the distance, one for someone on road, one for the person getting near, and a furious bark for anyone or anything in the yard. I could tell how close to the house by how close his bark was and how furious. That dog's bark came in handy.

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    1. I wasn't so much worried about my safety (until Hick commanded me to question the intruder) as I was concerned that he might be trying to steal something, thinking nobody was home during the day.

      I DO love my canine warning system. The neighbor dog is the most intimidating in appearance and bark, but my little Jack is the one who might nip somebody.

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  5. He admitted he should have told you! That's a big moment right there! and we both wish he HAD actually told you, right? But who burns copper? Here in Australia people STEAL copper from anywhere they can get it because it fetches a fine price when sold.

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    1. That IS a big moment!

      The price is why people burn copper. It's copper wire. Some people steal it. Hick used to get it from his work (with permission!) when he replaced old wiring. Then he burned off the plastic or rubber coating on the wire, and sold the remaining metal to the junk man. He had to give his ID and address to the junk man, because of all the stolen copper. So the police could trace people selling large amounts.

      Hick would keep wire until he had enough making it worthwhile to burn. Some of this might have a been a deal with that guy for the work he did out here.

      At Hick's old workplace in the city, people would climb over the razor wire that topped the fences, and steal the copper gutters off the building!

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