Hick Is No Role Model

When I left for town on Thursday, my errand day, I saw Hick over by the BARn at his burn pile, with smoke billowing. He waved, and I waved. I figured he was over there, since I smelled smoke when I stepped out the door, and the dogs did not come running.

While in town, I got a text from Hick.

"Im going to town to get a six pack of beer and then come home and get in the pool"

I was  bit surprised, because Hick has not had beer in a long time. He has a drink with Wild Turkey 101 maybe once a week. Sometimes twice a week. But not beer. AND, we've been having cool nights, sometimes in the 50s, and I thought Hick's pool days were done for the season. Public pools close after Labor Day, you know.

When I got home two hours later, Hick was indeed in POOLIO. I went to lean over the rail and interrogate talk to him.

"Do you have a snootful?"

"I had three beers."

"I only see two bottles down there."

"I had one on the way home."

"You CAN'T DO THAT!!! What do you think it is, the 70s?"

"I opened it after I checked the mailbox. On our gravel road."

"What sorrows are you drowning?"

"No sorrows. I'd been working all day on my new storage unit, and my feet hurt. I just wanted a beer."

"What evidence were you destroying on your burn pile?"

"Just the scraps from the insulation I trimmed to put in my new storage unit."

Well. That's a little different. I don't begrudge a working man his beer. It takes about three minutes to get from Mailbox Row to our driveway. I doubt Hick was under the influence by then. I doubt he had even finished a beer. He must have had that one while putting away his 12-PACK, and stripping down to get in POOLIO.

Anyhoo... Hick said POOLIO was a little chilly. I'm pretty sure that might be the last swim of the season. Oh, and if anybody is interested in Hick's beer preferences... it was Michelob Dry, in bottles.

DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE, PEOPLE!