We met up with my sister the ex-ex-mayor's wife, and the ex-ex-mayor, to drive together separately to some other casinos. Sometimes we all go in one car, but with The Pony along, it would have meant he was relegated to the third seat of A-Cad. So we just followed one another.
Our first stop is always Outpost Casino, in Wyandotte, Oklahoma. That's pronounced WINE DOT, to save you from future embarrassment. Heh, heh. That's what a 9th-grader once told me after I said LOON AR in reference to an eclipse, when contrasting it with SO LAR. She was a stickler for pronunciation, emphasis be darned, and was upset that I didn't say LOON er. Of course I know how to pronounce them correctly in passing, but not when choosing to emphasize their differences. At least I knew ONE student was paying attention!
Anyhoo... Outpost Casino is small. I told Hick and The Pony that I thought I could go without my cane inside. We don't stay long, there's not much walking, and I could grab onto a seat-back if needed, to steady myself.
"NO! You NEED your cane! Your leg is hurt!" So I took it.
We went our separate ways, The Pony promising to find me after playing his first slot, and go to the soda fountain and bring me a Diet Pepsi/Cherry Pepsi beverage. Of course I'd prefer Diet Coke, but they don't have it. I can tolerate Diet Pepsi with a dash of Cherry Pepsi added at the end. We'd been driving all that way, so I try not to consume liquids on the 5-hour trip.
Before we left Outpost (me with a $140 profit), I told them I wanted to stop by the bathroom. While the rest of my entourage waited up by the door, I caned my way into the tiled open hallway that led to the women's side of the restrooms.
HORROR OF HORRORS!
A maintenance lady was standing at the entrance! Leaning on a Swiffer-thing.
"Be careful, honey. I just mopped. It might be slick."
I swear I never realized so much moisture could come out of a Swiffer-thing. It looked like Maintenance Lady had overturned a mop bucket. Not just a Carol Burnett Scrubwoman bucket, but the giant industrial yellow version on wheels. That entire floor looked like it had at least 1/4 inch of standing water on it!
And here I was with my cane! Not sure-footed. Yet I wanted to use the facilities before we left. The handicap stall was right in front of me. OF COURSE I planned to use the handicap stall! I had an oozing hole in my left leg!
Such a dilemma. Yet I needed to go before I went. With Hick and the gang, of course. I wasn't about to pee my already-wet pants. But it was a 20-minute drive to our next casino. Not prudent to wait, because like Uncle Joe at the Shady Rest Hotel, I was movin' kind of slow.
I gingerly caned myself across a five-foot expanse of wet tile to the handicap stall. Which was ALSO covered with the same depth of (hopefully) mop-water. I did not slip. Which was a good thing, because I briefly envisioned myself falling, writhing in a stew of disinfectant, pee, and poop-water! Perhaps getting stuck on my back like a turtle, while my open wound slurped up harmful bacteria all willy-nilly.
Just when I was congratulating myself on not-falling, and keeping my leg-hole as pristine as possible in leaky bandage and gauze... I realized that when I sat on the throne, MY PANTS WOULD BE AROUND MY ANKLES! Wicking up that wicked moisture!
Oh, well. Watcha gonna do? I had to take my chances.
Here's the thing. I've NEVER seen so much water on a bathroom floor after a routine mopping. WHERE did all that liquid come from? Not a little Swiffer-thing, surely. Maybe Maintenance Lady was doing touch-up. Perhaps trying to reverse-mop that floor and soak up some of the water.
I'd like to see the surveillance camera of the time we were in Outpost Casino. Just in case Hick was observed chatting with Maintenance Lady. Perhaps something changed hands. It could certainly explain where Hick's money disappeared at Outpost Casino...
Sis Tries Her Casino Restaurant BBQ Sauce Tactic Again [with food photos]
An Emo Guy Almost Lames The Pony [with food photos]
Sis Should Be Careful What She Asks For [with food photos]
Val's Pulsating Weirdo Magnet
Hick, the Law-Abiding Stickler
I would guess mopping up an overflow of a stopped up commode (ewwww). If Hick was planning to get you by virtue of a slippery floor "accident" he would not have demanded you take your cane.
ReplyDeleteNOOO! The hole in my leg clenched shut when I read that!
DeleteI did not use my cane when pussyfooting across that slippery expanse! It seemed like asking for trouble. I didn't trust the cane-foot. At least I could balance my center of gravity over one foot, then the next, so my real feet could not shoot out from under me as long as I concentrated on balance.
I could NEVER tell the difference between diet Coke and diet Pepsi...Then in Jersey we drink dirty water cocktails.
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, have no taste! I'm pretty sure some toxic wastes in your dirty water cocktails have ruined your taste buds.
DeleteI understand your semi-hurry, but I would have asked that lady to please dry a section of floor so you could cross safely.
ReplyDeleteI looked up Wyandotte in my big atlas and there is only one listed, in Michigan. So your Casino one must be really tiny, to not even make it into the index.
I don't know how she could have dried the floor. She was using that Swiffer-thingy that was a wet-mop like The Pony has in his new house. I don't think she would have torn off paper towels and gotten down on her knees to dry it for me. But she might have... she was very friendly.
DeleteI said it was small. Maybe your big atlas isn't big enough!
I found it via Google Earth, the Casino is almost as big as the tiny township. My atlas is 18 inches by 12 inches by 2 inches and that's the closed size. When open it is 18x24 inches and is now 50 years old, so has lots of tiny places and countries that no longer even exist because names and/or borders have been changed.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy a good atlas, but they are hurtling down the highway of obsolescence the moment they hit the presses! I'd much rather look up where I'm going in an atlas or on a road map than listen to GPS directions.
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