Hick is one of those people who fall backa$$ward into FREE STUFF. Not just the things Back Creek Neighbor Bev wants to get rid of, or furniture he finds at the end of driveways waiting for the trash truck, or casino comp items that he sells at his Storage Unit Store. Remember how one of Hick's customers brought him a 20 lb box of sausage links, and a 20 lb box of chicken patties?
HICK NOW HAS 30 lbs of FREE BACON!
Yes, the same customer brought it to Hick last week. It's over in The Original FRIG's freezer in the BARn, with the rest of the free meat. It's sliced bacon, with rashers (?) separated by paper dividers. Hick says it's hard to get it apart, to bring portions over to the house. He takes a plastic Chinese Tupperware container to fill it, then put in FRIG II.
Here's the deal. We were going to have roasted vegetables (carrots/potatoes/onions) and bacon for supper last week. I peeled and sliced the vegetables, and draped the bacon over them, to cook before I went to town. When it was done, I had The Pony assisting me to put stuff away until supper time.
"Look, Pony. I'm taking this bacon off with the tongs, and laying the slices on this plate. Count with me, since last time we mysteriously came up with missing bacon."
We counted. There were 7 pieces of bacon, and about as many half-slices of bacon. I don't know about how you hummingbird-stomached people eat, but in this house, THAT IS NOT ENOUGH BACON FOR 3 PEOPLE'S SUPPER! Let the record show that The Pony and Hick can each eat a steak the size of Fred Flintstone's rack of brontosaurus ribs. And I'm sure it will come as not surprise that Val is a hearty eater herself.
"Huh. Dad didn't bring enough bacon. You guys can have it. I'll have something else with my vegetables. I'll see what Country Mart has in the deli. Next time, he needs to bring more bacon over."
Yeah. I survived on a chicken-fried-steak-on-a-biscuit sandwich. I asked Hick how many slices of bacon he thought we each should have.
"I don't know, Val. But I thought I had more. It's hard to peel that bacon apart. I need to let it thaw a little, and take some baggies over there and package it so I can just pick up a bag and bring it over here to thaw."
I did get two half-slices of the bacon, to put on my chicken-fried-steak sandwich. It seems like good bacon. If you can get it...
I wish I could fall backwards into free meat! That is a good deal any way you look at it.
ReplyDeleteIt gets even better! The guy sent Hick a text today, and he's bringing ANOTHER 30 lbs of bacon on FRIDAY! Good thing we kept The Original FRIG! I don't have room for all that in the house, in FRIG II.
DeleteYears ago my friend Frog knew a guy who raised hogs. He got a big slab of bacon from him for helping him with something. I don't know if it was extra good bacon, or I've never had it fresh and not from the processing plant, but it was so good, we still talk about it.
ReplyDeleteMy grandpa raised hogs, but I was never a big bacon-eater. Guess I have to start sometime. I don't know where this bacon comes from, but it's better than the filet mignon off the parking lot of Rural King.
DeleteI was surprised how good the EGGS were, before the neighbor dogs killed all our chickens. Compared to fresh eggs, the store-bought eggs are tasteless. And the yolks are so pale, not the sunrise orange color of the fresh eggs. Fresh eggs are not great for boiling, though, because they're hard to peel.
Val,
DeleteGive hens green stuff to eat to get the orange color. When mine could not get out to forage, I carried my own salad to them or weeds.
Ours roamed our 10 acres all day, and got chicken feed in the evening. Shunned their house in the open-doored pen, and roosted in the trees. Until the new neighbors let their Killer Standard Poodle and Crazy Rottweiler out to kill 2 or 3 a day.
DeleteLong ago I learned to put two pieces of baking (parchment) paper between each meat item I was freezing since the paper doesn't stick together it's easier to separate without having to thaw even slightly. But my eyes popped when I read 30 pounds of bacon! My two youngest kids eat a lot of bacon and they'd be over-the-moon delighted if anyone gave them 30 pounds FREE!
ReplyDeleteWell, they'd be over-Mars delighted if they got 60 lbs free, like we will total with Friday's extra 30 lbs. I will have to turn into Val Gump, making a plethora of bacon varieties instead of shrimp...
DeleteTell you my little secret: use your free casino comp knives to slice the frozen pack of bacon in half. Thaw half and cook, and leave the rest frozen. Do not let him get his hands on your fancy ceramic knives, though.
ReplyDeleteHick is letting it thaw just enough to separate it into smaller packets. I don't know what knife he uses in the BARn. Don't want to! Might be a machete of unknown origin.
DeleteFree meat is always good!! Bacon, I would have to turn down or pass on to someone else. HeWho is not supposed to have it and he loves it. He knows no such thing as moderation and he has been known to eat an entire 12 oz. package!
ReplyDeleteYeah, we have free meat coming out our ears! I'm not crazy about bacon. It means more work for me. I would like to put some to use in a 7-layer salad. I could even make two of the layers BACON. Not sure which layer I'd leave out. So it might be an 8-layer salad. Don't tell HeWho. I could imagine him only picking out the bacon layers...
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