See chocolates, eat a few? (see chocolates, eat a few)
Set empty tub with dishes for his wifey Val to do
The Candy Man can't, the Candy Man can't."
My sister the ex-mayor's wife gave us some of her Christmas candy, left over from her annual Christmas Eve dinner. You might recall that she did the same thing last year, and one of the tubs went missing, to be discovered later in the possession of Hick.
Anyhoo...we've had two tubs of the candy sitting on the cutting block since a couple days after Christmas. It had chocolate fudge, peanut butter fudge, buckeyes, turtles, Hershey Hugs topped with an M&M on pretzels, and Rolos topped with pecans on pretzels. When the stockpile got low, I put all of them into one tub. Every afternoon, I'd choose two pieces to go with lunch. A few days ago, I opened up the tub to find THIS!
A single piece of candy left in the tub.
PUH-LEASE!
Just finish it off already! We've had it for over three weeks. Everybody got a share. I don't mind missing out on the last piece of candy. I DO mind somebody (HICK) playing this game of "I didn't eat it all."
Of course I
"Why did you leave ONE PIECE of candy in that tub? I just finished the dishes. I could have washed it."
"I was full, Val."
"Sure you were."
"There was 4 left. I was just too full to eat the last one."
"Uh huh. If' there'd been 5, I bet you could have eaten 4. I know how you are."
"No you don't. I was just too full."
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you: "How full do you have to be to pass up ONE PIECE of candy? This size. A simple Rolo with a nut on a pretzel. Is that so filling? Will it explode a stomach? More specifically, will it explode the stomach of the defendant, who has been known to eat three Casey's donuts at once? I think not. The defendant does not have a hummingbird stomach. Nor has his gut been surgically altered like those 600-Pound-Lifers. Consider the evidence carefully."
Of course some of you jurors will take Hick's side. It's the popular thing to do. "Oh, Val. Hick is not used to eating candy! He knows he's not supposed to have it. I'm sure he really WAS too full to have even one more small piece."
Well! To you I say, "Does this line from George Michael's song Faith ring a bell?"
"And I know all the games you play because I played them, too."
I really want to leave that Christmas tub sitting there, after taking out the last piece of candy. So when Hick thinks I've forgotten, and wants to eat it, he will open up an empty tub.
Oh, Hicks. You cannot deceive Val, unless you have a death wish.
ReplyDeleteHe really should know better by now.
DeleteHicks is innocent, I know that after three, especially after a great lunch, would be just too much and there might be a bigger mess to clean-up if he had that last piece. ;-) hehehehe
ReplyDeleteHick certainly has his supporters!
DeleteI have NO trouble believing Hick left it just to be able to claim that he didn't eat it all.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, when I was washing up, (if this was me), I would have checked that container to see if it was empty or if the remaining candy could go to a smaller bowl, then I would wash it up along with the other dishes.
Well, since it was me, I figured why would I dirty up a separate container, just to wash this one!
DeleteGood point, but since it was just one piece left, why not eat it and then wash the container, like I would have?
DeleteI was still plotting my revenge at the time, to leave an empty container for Hick to find, but not right away. To see if he WOULD eat the last one.
DeleteIn fact, I just ate it today for lunch, after setting it out to wash the container this morning. So my revenge-plotting only lasted 3 days. I'd rather have the container done with that wait him out any longer.
At least he left one piece, HeWho would have replaced the lid to the empty container and left it there!
ReplyDeleteShh...that's MY plan!
DeleteIt's kind of like no one eats the last shrimp on a platter. Maybe you should hide the candy under a towel and see if he ever finds it.
ReplyDeleteThat would be a waste of three-week-old candy!
DeleteMy guy is like Mikey: he will eat anything. I have to hide the last piece of anything I want.
ReplyDeleteYou might try the tactic of joeh's wife, and lay a kitchen towel over it. I don't remember how long it took him to figure that out...
DeleteHubs will do the same thing. Leave one cookie or one piece of something so he doesn't eat it all. Like that matters, as he already ate 10.
ReplyDeleteI believe it's a denial thing. As long as one is left, or a few crumbs remain in a bag, they think they can avoid blame for eating 99% of a treat. Also, they don't have to throw anything away or wash it.
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