The House that Hick Bought (and Rebuilt)

Hick and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) have been working on Hick House since the day we bought it. Actually before the money changed hands, but the day after the verbal agreement was made. One week into their renovations, a neighbor showed up.

"We was workin' outside, and the old lady from next door showed up. She's about my age. She asked what we was doin' there, and I told her we were the new owners, fixin' up the house. She said, 'I know the owner really well.' And I said, 'So do I.' Then she said, 'Her name is This Guy's Wife.' And I said, 'That's who I bought it from!'"

"Great! That sounds so fake! You didn't even tell her who you bought it from! You just agreed after she said the name. How is SHE supposed to know you really bought it?"

"Well, she DID say, 'I've seen you over here, and wondered what was going on. I talk to This Guy's Wife almost every day. I might call her today.' So I said, 'Go ahead. I might call her, too.'"

"She can't be talking to her every day, if This Guy's Wife didn't mention to that old lady that she'd sold the house to you!"

"I know I bought it. Let her call. It's kind of good that she's looking out for the property."

Hick is bending over backwards not to upset the neighbors, though. He tells HOS that he needs to be careful about revving his car engine, because it's kind of loud. And that he shouldn't have changed the oil in his truck over there in the driveway. "I can't afford to have the neighbors upset and calling the police. Let's get this house ready, and not give them anything to complain about." HOS said he doesn't really give an eff if the neighbors get upset. I'm pretty sure he'll change his tune if the police show up and question him. Then some effs will be given!

"HOS needs to be careful. He has nothing to show that he owns the house, and you don't even have anything to show that YOU own the house! What if they call This Guy's Wife to verify it, and she doesn't answer? HOS works over there late at night. I'm sure they see the light on. Almost every time I drive by in the day, I see a cop."

"Yeah. I'll have another talk with him. Once we get it done, if he's living there, I don't care. It's out of my hands then."

Here's a floor plan that Hick drew me on a paper plate, his choice for blueprints. I had a Not-Heaven of a time figuring out which rooms he was talking about. It was like a Who's On First routine. He can't explain any other way besides saying the same thing louder. Even in answer to a specific question, he repeats the same thing, louder. I don't envy HOS, spending his days trying to work with Hick.

After the descriptions, I'll put the original picture of the $5000 house, so maybe you can tell what Hick's referring to in his floor plan. Let the record show that the drawing is not to scale, and that the ground floor is indeed the same size as the upstairs!

The top floor is up top. You come off the U-shaped set of stairs into a sunny room that could be a sitting room. To your right are two doors, each leading to a bedroom. The bedrooms also have a connecting door with each other. Tomorrow, I'll show you actual pictures of the upstairs rooms.

The ground floor has the stairs to the immediate right as you enter the door. Straight ahead, you walk into a room that's going to be the master bedroom. On past that is what's becoming the new bathroom and laundry room. That section along the back might be torn off. Hick has labeled the original bathroom there on the right. The other end is currently a pantry off the kitchen.

The left half of the ground floor has a living room in front, then the kitchen in back. Hick is putting a hallway between the kitchen and new bathroom, I think. He has left out some windows and doors in his floor plan. There's an open archway between the living room and bedroom, which is going to be closed by built-in shelves for both rooms. Hick has a vision, which should become more clear as work progresses.

Let's remember, Hick and HOS are working towards a livable house that will pass city inspection. Nothing fancy.