Swag From RetirementPartyPalooza

Were any of you surprised that Hick was actually surprised with his family retirement party?

Hick is not one to pick up what you're layin' down. You pretty much have to spell things out for him. Without actually spelling, of course. He misses gently-nuanced hints, and blurts out things that most people would keep to themselves. Yeah. Maybe I AM still bitter about that time he told me my skirt reminded him of a circus tent. The colors, he insisted! And that time he told me I was like an elephant. Citing my superior memory, of course!

Uh huh. It really shouldn't surprise anyone that we pulled this off. Let's face it. Hick couldn't find his own butt with two hands, an LED work light that I bought him on Friday, and a souped-up Garmin designed by Genius.

The boys had all forked over chipped in (one of them under duress, I fear) money for Hick's gift. It ended up being just that. Money. Which made me feel bad, because we don't need their money. The party itself was enough (I speak for Hick), no need for a present. Though if it had been an actual present, I would have felt better about it.

Something else that gave me pause was that somehow, it turned into a party for me, too! That's not right! I'm not the one who just retired. I didn't try to guilt them into including me by asking, "Where was MY retirement party last May?" No siree, Bob! I didn't want this to be about me. They even had both our names on the card. That's not right, I tell you! Because if that was the plan...well...it's really not right to ask Val to throw her own surprise party! It was kind of a moderate amount of work.

Anyhoo...aside from a cash gift, Hick received THIS from The Veteran:

It's pretty fancy. As you can see, somebody sampled it during the party. Probably Hick and The Veteran. Maybe Genius. Hick was carrying on about how he was on his THIRD beer! "I don't know WHEN the last time was I had more than two beers! I even saved two from when I had pizza last week, so I would have them while I grilled today."

Also, we got this gift from Friend, with a card saying that now that Hick was retired, and we'd be together every day, these might come in handy:

Heh, heh! And of course Hick said seriously, "Look! We can protect ourselves up to 32 decibels!" That would matter to a working man like Hick. Gotta love the sensibilities of Friend! He's like a son to us.

Because it is better to give than to receive...Genius left with a fancy office chair that Hick gave him. Actually, it belonged to my mom, a rolly chair with a high back and padded arms, leather or leather-like, that we had given her for Christmas one year, to sit at her computer. Genius was bemoaning the fact that the great office chair he'd bought himself at a Goodwill a few years back, that had only one arm, but was otherwise perfect...was failing, and that he was looking for another such chair. Hick said that he had my mom's old one in his Railroad Car Shack, and didn't really need it there. So he gave it to Genius.

That's the old Goodwill chair, before Genius took it with him to college. I didn't get a picture of the new old chair. It all happened so fast!

AND, I caught Genius rummaging around under the kitchen sink, sniffing my collection of Bath and Body Works soaps that I use at the kitchen sink for handwashing...and before I knew it, he had appropriated three for his apartment, and told Friend that he could have one for his house. Even though he lives with his parents right now, working a full time job making more than I did during my final year of teaching! Then Genius made his exit, with four uncooked hamburger patties, two hot dogs, two bratwurst, a pack of buns, a container of potato salad, and the remainder of the beans.

Yes, everyone had a good time, I think. As good a time as 25 pounds of meat, five pounds of potato salad, and a cooler full of two-month-old leftover float trip beer can provide.

Tomorrow...the dark side of RetirementPartyPalooza.