HE'S ALWAYS HERE!!!
And by HERE, I mean wherever I am. At the moment I am.
You'd think I'd be safe for 21 minutes every night, walking up and down the driveway. Nobody needs to use the driveway in the evening. I'm here. Hick's here. And by HERE, I don't just mean at home.
Let the record show that the prime time for weedeating the area around the flat rock monument and the eyesore picket fence is...EXACTLY WHEN VAL GOES OUT TO WALK! Yes. It's true. That chore cannot be done any other time. How long does it take to weedeat the area at the end of the eyesore picket fence, near the flat rock monument and the trash dumpster? You guessed it...EXACTLY 21 MINUTES!
Yes, indeed. Val's life IS rife with coincidences like that. Doesn't matter that there are 6 acres here to mow which include the front yard and the BARn field on the other side of the sinkholey trees, and another 6 acres of cleared land past THAT, that could be accomplished while Val is taking a relaxing evening walk, hoping to fill her lungs with fresh air, not the stirred up particles and pollens of grasses to which her dripping nasal cavities and uncleared throat seem to think she is allergic to.
You'd think that with all that acreage to mow, it would not be imperative that the yard directly in front of the porch pew, the dog-snacking area every evening, would need immediate mowing at the very time Val is resting after her walk, enjoying the company of her canines. BUT IT DOES! Forget about relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet of country living.
How boring would THAT be? When instead, you can admire the mowing skills of Hick.
Weeds can't be eaten every evening, you know, nor pew-frontage mowed. But do you know what else is imperative to accomplish during those same 21 minutes? HICK MUST MOVE GOODWILL SWAG FROM HIS TRAILBLAZER TO THE BARn! Right then! RIGHT WALKING THEN! You know how he moves it, right? He can't just carry it in his arms. No. He must go get the Gator. Drive the Gator over to the driveway. Park the Gator in the driveway area where Val makes her turnaround on the concrete carport. Load the Gator. AND BACK IT UP AT THE VERY INSTANT VAL IS MAKING ONE OF HER 6 TURNAROUNDS!
Uh huh. The Gator can't be backed up and turned around while Val is at the FAR end of the driveway. Only when she's walking right there.
It's a long driveway, people. And a large yard. Why do I feel so claustrophobic?
I escape every morning to my basement for TV, blogging, and guitar while Mrs. C watches her shows, does computer stuff or takes a nap. If I don't go to my liar soon enough she gives me a nudge. Time away is definitely needed and appreciated.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that you don't so much "escape" to your basement. More likely you are "sentenced" to your basement!
DeleteBelieve me, as warden of my own homestead, I should know.
Maybe Hick is singing a Carpenters song while he's doing those antics. Can you guess which one?
ReplyDelete(And I hate to keep reiterating this point, but if you were still working, you'd have at least 6 or 7 or 8 Hick-free hours.)
I suppose you are referring to "Close to You." But it could just as well be "I Won't Last a Day Without You," because Hick just never can be without me.
DeleteI'd like to thank you, Madam, for pushing gainful employment on me 24/7/365. No matter which carrot you dangle from the stick, I'm not going to bite!
That's a lot of space to feel claustrophobic in. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThat just illustrates the power of Hick's presence.
DeleteOh, I get it, completely. Where I am, he must be. I think it's a passive aggressive thing, don't you?
ReplyDeleteYes. Even when he's sleeping, he expects me to be at his side. LIKE HE EVEN KNOWS! HE'S ASLEEP! I guess I'm supposed to admire his machine-aided breathing.
DeleteThat's one war I am winning. I've always been a night owl. Even Hick's powers cannot change my circadian rhythm.
The Mad Mower strikes again!!
ReplyDeleteThat's the mower he went and bought without telling me! It cost just a bit more than his shoe inserts from The Good Feet Store.
DeleteI think Sioux is onto something and the REAL reason I keep working.
ReplyDeleteThough it was a very thin line of differentiation...I chose the lesser of the two evils. And back then, Hick still had a year of working full time ahead of him. It was a very good year.
DeleteSD's not always here but when he isn't he rings me and emails me - it FEELS like he's always here ...
ReplyDeleteThey can't take a chance on us getting away!
DeleteI wonder if Hick is thinking "Every time I try to do something, there she is"
ReplyDeleteI love it when my wife asks me to do something, like say pour tea for supper, then gets aggravated because I am in the refrigerator.....
He wouldn't DARE! Besides, I avoid his hangouts like his Shackytown and his BARn.
DeleteJust because you're doing as ordered doesn't mean you have to get in the way! Probably, if you waited 60 seconds, you wouldn't be underfoot.
Aww. I think Hick just wants to be near you. Does he hum these lyrics when he velcros himself to you: "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you."
ReplyDeleteOddly enough...he does NOT! But he CAN sing like that deep voice guy in the Oak Ridge Boys. I think "Elvira" is one of Hick's favorite songs.
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