This week, the story virtually wrote itself. I was driving to work in T-Hoe, listening to the 70s on Sirius XM, when the urge struck. The minute I got to school, I popped in my flash drive and typed it up. VOILA! Another fake book from Val. Enjoy.
Mild: From Lost to Found in the Hall of the Mountain Kings
Sal Thethicktorian sets out with her landlady, Lillith Findstrom, on a trek through the Pyrenees, in a quest to find themselves. What they find is much, much more than either had bargained for.
Out strolling on a very hot summer day,
they remove their backpacks and wineskins, and lie down to rest in a field of
tall grass. That’s when things grow cloudy.
Sal dreams that she’s an overfed
long-haired leaping gnome, starring in a Hollywood movie. She and Lillith trek
on, sipping wine from the goatskins. Before dusk, they stumble into the Hall of
the Mountain Kings.
What will Sal and Lillith find? Will
they spill the wine? Dig up that girl? IS it just a dream?
Read how Sal and Lillith get lost,
and what they find. (129 words)
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Fake Reviews for My Fake Book:
Eric Burdon..."Val's book literally SINGS with well-crafted prose. If you don't fake-buy it, this means WAR!"
Farz Findstrom..."This book makes me want to move out of our three-story Victorian home in Minneapolis, leave my overbearing wife Lillith, chuck the whole dermatologist career, and devote my life to writing tales one-tenth as good as Mild."
Pony Thevictorian..."Nay! Not my style. I don't care about what happens to Sal or Lillith. In fact, I don't care about people at all. But I heartily recommend this book, because my mom wrote it"
Anonymous..."All I have to say is: 'Fake-buy this book!' If my name is mentioned even one time in it, I'd better get at least half of the fake-proceeds."
Val--Their wineskins? You sound like you've had experience with such a thing.
ReplyDeleteI assure you, Madam, I have not. But I DID go to college, and Hick has a remarkable collection of Strassenfest buckets hanging over his bar in the BARn.
DeleteLol. What are those gals (or you) drinking?
ReplyDeleteI am presently sipping a 44 oz Diet Coke. I presume they were drinking warm French wine from a pouch with a nozzle. Or was that a rhetorical question?
DeleteI have fake downloaded it on my fake Nook, can't wait to fake read it.
ReplyDeleteYou have my undying fake gratitude. I shall fake deposit your fake purchase price in my fake bank account, with hopes of earning more that 33 cents in fake interest over the next year.
DeleteThat may be the best beginning to a fake novel I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteOr it may not...
DeleteAnd...what about Naomi?
ReplyDeleteWell...what ABOUT Naomi?
DeleteYou are so creative!
ReplyDeleteNope! I'm a plagiarist!
DeleteSeems to me I fake read this some time ago--are you sure you're not a plagiarist?
ReplyDeleteWhy, yes. I AM a plagiarist!
DeleteI was hoping somebody would notice before the 7th comment. I left plenty of clues. I thought, perhaps, Madam at Comment 1 would notice that it's actually based on the War song, "Spill that Wine." I guess nobody around Val's cathouse likes War.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W77Kwh6f0TE
And nobody was a fan of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
I even left clues in my fake reviews, for cryin' out loud!
We won't mention the Cheryl Strayed connection.
I saw the movie, but didn't read Strayed's movie. (But it IS my stack.)
ReplyDeleteSorry. After using the link (and thinking I was on a "trip" at the beginning of the video) I realized I had heard the song before, but it wasn't one that would make me crank up the volume.
MTM? Was that the landlady bit?
I read the book, but didn't see the movie. Meh. Not that impressed.
DeleteYes, MTM's landlady Phyllis was quite a pill, and her dermatologist husband Lars left her late in the series, thus paving the way for a Phyllis spin-off for Cloris Leachman.
My memory fails me, so you could be a plagiarist all you want. And um, I liked the Mary Tyler Moore show. Durp. Love your creativity.
ReplyDeleteKudos for liking MTM. I'll have Lou put back those three servings of Veal Prince Orloff so you can have some. That Mary sure could throw a dinner party...
Delete