The Pony is the New Tuna

The Pony, as you well know, does not really care about helping people. But did you know that he's also a murderer? Uh huh. I didn't think so. We're not talking about killing spiders or wasps or (like his father) murdering the English language. Nope. We're talking about offing real live imaginary people.

Saturday night, Hick and The Pony went to a murder mystery dinner. Hick heard about it on the radio. The Pony was quite excited to attend. And he doesn't kick up his heels over much. I was invited, but declined. I never really liked the game of Clue, either.

Tickets were $43 apiece. Catering was by Zia's on the Hill, which will mean nothing to those of you who are not from the St. Louis area. I believe the entertainment was by Jest Murder Mystery Co. The Pony was chompin' at the bit to go, and Hick was excited in his own way. We don't get out much here in Backroads, and this was virtually in Backroads's own back yard.

While they both enjoyed the food, Hick was astonished that he had to pay for their drinks. I had told him before he left that alcohol would be available, and offered him some cash, and wondered whether The Pony would need to be 21 to get in. None of that made any impression on Hick. Until he got there.

"I had to pay NINE DOLLARS for our drinks!"

"Well...The Pony said you had two beers."

"I did. But they didn't give you nothin'! Usually they'll at least give you water. But they didn't! I had to pay for The Pony's soda, and they didn't even give him the whole soda! Just poured some in a glass!"

Yeah. Thevictorians don't get out much.

Still, The Pony (and I think Hick, too) had a good time. They saw a person from school, though neither knew who she was. They described her as a woman with a round face, not real thin, who works in the elementary. Yeah. That really narrowed it down. I thought I had deduced the identity, until Sunday when I mentioned a student I saw in Walmart, and Hick shouted, "THAT'S who that woman was. At the murder dinner! That kid's mom!" Who is neither a teacher, nor works at our elementary, but was an occasional substitute at my building several years ago, and worked with Hick for many hours over many different days for about 12 months way back when Genius was a senior, pertaining to Project Graduation.

Oh, and The Pony was the murderer at the murder mystery dinner. He won a trophy:

Contrary to photo evidence, his character was not named A. Eagle. He was Charlie "The Tuna" Cornioli. He was the "clean-up guy" for one of the mob families in the murder mystery, "Bullets in the Bathtub."

Don't look for The Pony on Broadway any time soon. Or even at The Muny. "The Tuna" has other fish to fry.