Val did such a good job on her three days of jury duty last week that she has been recalled!
That's right! Recalled! Like car that spontaneously bursts into flames while parked in the garage because a tiny spider built a web that blocked air flow to the fuel tank. Like a precious memory loosened from the brain's vault by the inhalation of the aroma of Teaberry gum. Like an elected official barely escaping an angry mob brandishing flaming torches before he is voted out of office.
The postcard came in the mail today. Val's next stint, perhaps leading to a tryout for judge, and eventually to an audition for executioner...is next Thursday and Friday. We'll see. Having been spurned, stood-up, and invited to a party that never happened, Val is a bit leery of putting this tango on her dance card. No more will she take a day off when disinvited. It's less work to be at work. Even when one finds out after the final bell on the day before the big dance.
At this rate, I'm going to be called every other week until December 31st.
Maybe you'll get a case involving the Good Samaritan law.
ReplyDeleteMaybe...I can only imagine my character witness list. The gas station chicken giver, the dead-mouse-smelling post office clerk, the satanic-poodle owner, the pointy-meth-beard man I backed into at the bank, MY SISTER THE EX-MAYOR'S WIFE (!), the lady who stroked my arm and told me I was SO PRETTY in Save A Lot, the manufacturers of Diet Coke, all of my loyal readers, my sweet baboo, and my best ol' ex-teaching buddy, Mabel.
DeleteI should be out in 3-5.
Perhaps it's a case about a man who mowed somebody down while riding on a gator.
ReplyDeleteOr the case revolves around a woman who trained a goat to do evil things (not that that would take much training).
Or the case involves a woman who stole a card table.
The possibilities are endless...
Perhaps it's a case about a man who mowed somebody down while riding on a gator...WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN RIDING A NEW USED $10,000 TRACTOR!
DeleteOr the case revolves around a woman who trained a goat to do evil things (not that that would take much training)...AS REVENGE FOR THE HERD OF GOATS THAT ATE AN ENTIRE ROSEBUSH AND 7/8 OF A LILAC BUSH.
Or the case involves a woman who stole a card table...WHEN SHE COULD HAVE STOLEN A $200 SOUP TUREEN!
The long arm of the law, Madam, knows no limits.
The harsh price of good citizenship!
ReplyDeleteBut not as harsh as the price of shoe inserts at The Good Feet Store!
DeleteIf your like my recalled Subaru, they won't have the parts even if you took a day off to get your airbag checked.
ReplyDeleteMy airbag is doing just fine, Ma'am. I'd like to know who is tiptoeing on the edge of the HIPAA law spreading rumors about its ill health.
DeleteNow if you're talking about my T-Hoe...yes, that would be the likely scenario.
You know, I love our blog titles almost as much as the actual posts - I need to be more inventive with mine!
ReplyDeleteyour not our - mine are mostly fairly boring.
DeleteHeh, heh. I didn't even notice the OUR!
DeleteIn fact, I love my own blog titles as well. I often see others that I covet, but I resist the urge to steal. I could end up in court, you know! I must be able to pass a polygraph.
Came back to visit and saw to my horror that I'd made the oldest grammar mistake in the fourth grade book. That should be...if YOU'RE like my Subaru.
ReplyDeleteMany people come here an experience horror, and it has nothing to do with grammar.
DeleteI don't know why people think I am the Grammar Police. Sheesh! I'm only the jury. For now.
They know a judgemental person when they see one.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me.
I meant a person of good judgement.
Dang! You're makin' sure I keep the Puffs With Lotion factory in business this week.
DeleteThey have your number, and you can bet, they'll be using it. You're probably on speed dial. Hope you get a case that's as fun as a Seinfeld episode.
ReplyDeleteLast time all I got was a case concerning eminent domain. BUT I got to stay until after 10:00 p.m. deciding on the monetary award.
DeleteAND a guy who sat in my row during the jury picks looked like Hannibal Lecter. He got upset with the county deputy giving us instructions, and pointed out that she was not wearing her badge, and asked for her name. Then he LICKED a stubby pencil and wrote it down in a tiny flip-top notebook. He was scary. Like Crazy Joe Davola.
I am a little jealous, I would love to be on jury duty. I would love to judge the actions of others ......
ReplyDeleteYou would be so good at it! Maybe one day...
Delete