Anybody Looking for a Bargain?

We were having lunch at the casino when Hick got a text from Realtor Guy that the listing was up for Bargain House. Hick is quite pleased with the photos. I don't think they show the house as well as the pictures taken by Hick and The Pony, but they'll do.

I am thrilled with the description Realtor Guy posted:

Move-in ready and budget friendly, this [redacted] home is ideal for a first-time buyer or anyone wanting a reliable home without worrying about major repairs. Major infrastructure improvements include a new sewer line and new water service line from the house to the street, sump pump in the basement, and a clear termite inspection on file. Electrical and plumbing updates feature a new 200-amp electrical service, new kitchen electrical wiring, and new kitchen supply and drain plumbing lines. Mechanical upgrades include a new HVAC system with gas furnace, new electric water heater, and double pane windows, helping keep utility costs low with the electric bill averaging around $60 per month. Interior improvements include updated luxury vinyl plank flooring, new blinds throughout, new kitchen appliances, and an added mudroom/laundry room with utility sink. Exterior features include a metal roof, sidewalks, and a corner lot. With two bedrooms and two bathrooms and the expensive updates already completed, this property offers practical living and strong value in today's market.

Doesn't THAT make you want to drive by for a look, and possibly schedule a showing? As I always emphasize, we're not refurbishing the Taj Mahal. We take a basic house that needs a little TLC, and upgrade it to a safe, livable house. No frills. Just a basic home in a decent neighborhood.

Realtor Guy also said that Hick will get a text notification when a realtor is showing the house. He asked if there were times that Hick did not want a showing, and Hick replied that any time is fine. Nobody is living or working there.

We'll see how it goes. There were over 150 views of the Bargain House listing by Thursday night, after it went online at noon. Lots of people look. All it takes is ONE looker to buy it.

More Certainty

Seems like only a few days ago I was bemoaning the fact that people these days can't seem to do a job well. Forget about WELL. They can't seem to do their job at all!!!

We have been eagerly awaiting the listing for Bargain House. You may recall that Realtor Guy phoned Hick on Monday, and said he would have it up on Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on when he got the pictures from the photographer. Tuesday, nothing. Wednesday, nothing. At 6:00 p.m., Hick sent Realtor Guy a text asking about the listing. Realtor Guy said he put a sign in the yard on Wednesday, and that the listing should be up on Thursday. 

This is disappointing. I know that Bargain House is not going to rake in a big commission. That more pricey properties take precedence when you're working on commission. Maybe it was the photographer who wasn't doing his job. Still, it only takes 60 seconds to send a text informing Hick that the listing was delayed. Hick shouldn't have to contact Realtor Guy about something Realtor Guy had promised. You can't assume it's only taking an extra day. It might have been forgotten altogether. Thus the inquiry.

Hick spoke with the elderly who bounced his rent check for the senior apartments. It was either a misunderstanding, or somebody at HUD lagging in payment. The old guy said he knew he didn't have money in his account to cover the check he wrote. But he thought he was going to have his HUD money in by then. And that he had enough in his checking account to cover the rest. 

Well. That's not how banks work. Still, I can understand his reasoning. He had a letter from HUD saying that he was approved for $240-something a month off his $575 rent. HUD sends it directly to the non-profit agency that runs the apartments. It just wasn't there on time. So somebody at HUD made a criminal of the old guy. Which wouldn't have happened if he understood that the apartment agency can't just subtract what they need out of a check he writes them. I wonder if he's one of the renters who paid by cash before the bookkeeper told Hick he couldn't turn in cash anymore...

At least our NEW new heat pump has been working perfectly since it was installed on Monday. Kudos to that HVAC Guy for competently performing the service for which he is paid.

A Holding Pattern

There's nothing much going on here. We are waiting for our listing of Bargain House to hit the innernets. The photographer was there Monday. Realtor Guy called Hick and said he would get Bargain House online Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on when he got the pictures from the photographer. I've been watching for it, but nothing to see yet.

The highway patrol guy Hick knows came to get the black bag of weed. Said he'd look into it. Hick said he didn't seem real excited about it. Meaning that it didn't appear to be a pressing issue, not that the guy didn't want to do his job.

No more "explosions" at the senior apartments. However, Hick was shocked by a call from the bookkeeper that a check had bounced. It was the first guy Hick had rented an apartment to. He's never been late or had any payment problems before. Hick's going to look into it.

We got our "new" heat pump installed on Monday. It replaces the new heat pump we got in September for $8,500. No charge this time! Though Hick DID have to haul it around back on his tractor, because the yard is muddy.

T-Hoe has four new tires, and a new oil gauge. We are planning a casino trip, but T-Hoe will not be our mode of transportation.

Oh, and we have a new puppy named Pepper. He's too feisty to get a good picture right now. He's a white spotted cutie, half blue heeler, half something that might have beagle in it.

The temperature is supposed to hit 75 today. Life is good. The only bummers pending are the act of doing taxes, and my knee appointment in a couple weeks.

Hick is Left Holding the Bag

As with many Hicktales, this one borders on asking you to suspend belief in the natural laws of The Universe. What are the odds that one man can have so many coincidences align to put him in such a position?

I guess I shouldn't try to make sense of it. Just relay the telling of Hick's tale.

"One of my customers called me this afternoon. He's older than I am. He started out asking me how much I trusted the police. I said pretty much. That I have several troopers and policemen who buy from me. He said he knew that, and that's why he was asking.

Old Customer was driving, from down below Bill-Paying Town. I was at my store. He said he saw a black bag laying in the middle of the road. He stopped and picked it up. It had a bag of weed in it. He wanted to turn it in, and was wondering if I would do that for him. I said I guessed I could. He brought it by. It was a good-size bag of weed. Wrapped in plastic.

I called my buddy who's with the highway patrol, and told him about it, and he said he'd come by tomorrow and get it."

"So you have it in your storage locker?"

"Yeah."

"That can't be good for your FFL!"

"I know, but I'm turning it in. It's legal now. Just not for me to have with my license."

"It's legal if you have a license to sell it. But if somebody buys it and then sells it again without having a license to distribute it, I think it's not legal."

"Well, I know the person who lost the bag didn't have it legally, because also in the bag was papers WITH HIS NAME that he had a warrant for his arrest!"

"This seems odd. Why would he be carrying that in his bag with his weed? Even if he bought it legally. Because with a warrant, he's probably on probation or parole, and not supposed to have it."

"I don't know. But I guess that's the first person the law will start looking for."

"Won't they want to talk to your buddy? To ask him about exactly where he found it?"

"It was on the road! Between Other Town and Bill-Paying Town."

"Oh, that narrows it down to a 20-mile stretch. Why would it be in the road, unless he was trying to get rid of it out a car window while being chased?"

"I don't know. I'm just turning it in. They can do what they want with it."

I am interested in hearing the rest of the story, if Hick's trooper friend shares any details. We've finally found an item Hick won't sell, even if he got it for FREE.

Hark! The Harem Elderlies Ring!

Hick sent a text at 2:30 on Sunday. Here it is. You can decipher it. This one's pretty understandable, despite Hick's penchant for leaving out words and using creative spelling:

"I have to run by the apartments on my way the ladies have called and said they hurd a explosion in the trash room"

Okay. I assumed Hick meant on his way home. A journey which he does not usually start until 4:30 or 5:00. Yet this text didn't seem like he was rushing over to the apartments. You'd think an explosion might merit a sense of urgency. 

When Hick got home around 5:30, he said he found nothing amiss in the trash room.

"Heh, heh! How many ladies called you? It's those valentines. Each one thinks she's your special sweetheart, and doesn't know about the others. They just wanted a way to lure you over there on a Sunday."

"Two of them called. They actually heard it on Saturday."

"But they waited until Sunday to call you? For an EXPLOSION?"

"Yeah. I don't know what they heard. I looked all around and didn't see nothin' that exploded. There was a crack in the drywall. I think maybe there was an earthquake. I looked it up, and there was a 2.1, and I saw people on Facebook talking about it. But I thought it was a few days before Sunday. It's an old building. It might have settled, and cracked the drywall."

"Was it cracked before? And just now got noticed?"

"I don't remember it being cracked before, but it could have been. Just a thin crack, like that one we have between the kitchen and living room ceiling."

I tried to look up earthquakes. There WAS one, but it was in Caruthersville, which is quite a distance from the apartments. I don't know if such a minor earthquake could even be noticed around here. Then again, our towns sit atop a honeycomb of lead mines.

Many years ago there was an earthquake when I was lying on the couch in my $17,000 house that is just a couple blocks away from the senior apartments. I thought a big dump truck was going down the street out front. I felt a vibration, and the windows rattled. I suppose such an event might crack old drywall. But it didn't sound like an explosion.

Hick said there are rules to NOT throw glass containers down the trash chute. Something like that could land on the metal slide part in the trash room, and make a loud noise. He doesn't know what it was, but everything looked safe.

Reminds me of the time I heard an explosion here in our current hillbilly mansion. It was an expired can of biscuits in The Original Frig. That's when we got FRIG II. Exploding biscuits can do a lot of damage to the inside of a refrigerator. I don't know if such a sound would carry through apartment walls. I imagine it could put a crack in drywall. 

I'll have to tell Hick my theory!

Nothing is Certain but Death and Taxes, and People Not Doing Their Job Correctly

Last week, on the heels of the kerfuffle that was holding up our payment for HIS LAND, Hick got a letter from the county clerk. Actually, it was addressed to both of us. It was a notice. 

DELINQUENT TAXES!

Let the record show that Val pays the taxes. There is a plethora of tax bills sent to our hillbilly mansion. From the personal property items to the mansion itself upon 10 acres, the 10 acres next to the BARn field, the upper 10 acres (which we sold last year), Pony House, (which is still in our name as it's being paid off by The Pony, who reimburses us), Bargain House, and five assorted lots which we do nothing with and are trying to unload. 

I know the taxes we owed were paid, because I wrote out the checks for them, and Hick took them to the courthouse to pay, when he went to buy his new business license and pay his business taxes. In fact, I was a bit upset when Hick reported that the worker who took his payments said snidely, "She could have written just one check." No. I write separate checks for the bigger properties, and then one for the five assorted properties, with an itemization of their addresses in the memo line on the check. If there's one thing I know about dealing with government entities, it's CYA. Checks are a record of payment. The gal who took Hick's payments the previous year had complimented Hick on my attention to detail. I was VALidated!

Anyhoo... we also sold one of those five assorted properties last year. The lake lot(s). Our last deal with Realtor. We had quite a laugh at the closing, about the tax bill of $5.18 being pro-rated and a portion of it reimbursed in our check. So we were not supposed to get a tax bill for it in November, since it was no longer ours. As expected, we did NOT get a tax bill for that property.

THEN THE DELINQUENT LETTER! Which was for that lake property. Now there was a penalty! And the amount owed was $5.85! Of course we got it on a Friday afternoon. Everything was closed by the time Hick brought in the mail. So I stewed over it all weekend.

"WHY are we getting a delinquent tax notice? That's not even our responsibility now."

"Probably the bill got sent to the new owners. Maybe they didn't pay it."

"But it's in OUR NAME! Shouldn't the title company have handled that? They did the paperwork. It should show that we're not the owners. We paid our part of the tax when we sold it."

"Maybe the title company didn't get it recorded. Or maybe the people at the assessor's office didn't get it recorded. That's probably what happened. I'll go by the title company and show them this letter."

Which I thought Hick would do on Monday, but he was so busy with his harem and his SUS2.5 that he waited until later in the week. He said the gal we always deal with at the title company said she'd take care of it. I still like that office, and want to do our closings there.

Hick kept saying it was no big deal. Yeah. Until he goes to renew a car license, or (finally) get my name spelled right on his new old trailer registration. Missouri requires proof of paid taxes for such licensing. So we'd be listed as having delinquent taxes, and Hick would have to find proof that we don't owe anything. A big headache.

Supposedly, it's being taken care of.

Like Feeding Candy to a Harem

Hick doesn't go to the senior apartments on Saturdays. So he handed out his valentines to his harem on Friday.

"The girls all liked their valentines."

"But what about the men?"

"I didn't give no men no valentines!"

"I KNOW! That's the point. I wondered if any of them had anything to say."

"They don't know. I didn't give them out in front of the men."

Well. That might be the most common-sense thing Hick has done in 20 years. I wonder if he told "the girls" to keep their mouth shut.

______________________________________________________________________

Further questioning led to the revelation that Hick had "knocked on their doors" to distribute his valentine candy to his harem.

"So you just went door to door? Didn't have a meeting? What if they think they're the only one getting a valentine from you, and then they all start talking, and get mad?"

"They ain't gonna get mad. They loved their valentines. But here's something I don't think is right. My friend there that runs the lunch program had a valentine party. But she only invited the people she likes!"

"Wait. She had it there in the building?"

"Yeah. It was a bunch of the people who deliver meals. And she only invited three of the gals from upstairs."

"Was it an actual work party? Like for the delivery people? Do the three women she invited help her out in some way?"

"I don't know if they help or not. It wasn't an announced party like she has on some holidays for everyone. Just people she had invited, and it was there in the building."

"You know this will probably start an argument with the ones who weren't invited! Were YOU invited?"

"No. I wasn't invited to the girls' valentine party."

"Then that can be your answer when they all get into it. 'Hey, I wasn't invited either.' Anyway, I guess someone is allowed to have a party and invite their friends, without including everyone. It's just odd that it was held there in the building, but not for everyone."

"Yeah. I don't think it was right that she didn't invite them all." Said the man who only gave candy to the elderly women, and nothing to the men.

Bargain House Is Ready for Her Closeup

Hick gave the Realtor Guy a walk-through of Bargain House on Tuesday. Supposedly Hick had moved all his tools out, but left the furniture there. I'm hoping he actually put the bed together in the front bedroom. I'd rather have everything cleared out, but Hick said he wanted to show how a bed would fit. I think that takes the prospective buyer out of their dream. They want to imagine their own stuff inside a "new" house.

Anyhoo... I've seen worse pictures on listings, with a tenant's clutter and dirty clothes and hoarded treasures and wall hangings with questionable taste. So a couple beds in the bedrooms are not the end of the world. I did suggest that Hick take down the hand towels hanging in the bathrooms, and let the main tub go without a shower curtain, to emphasize its newness. Hick did the Beauty Shop no favors with his choice of a shower curtain.

Speaking of bathrooms, Realtor Guy said he will list it as a 2-bredroom, 2-bathroom house. That these days, nobody calls a bathroom with just a shower a 3/4 bath. 

Realtor Guy wants Hick to fix a minor problem with the front porch. He said some bricks are loose, and they will be noticed in the picture of the front of the house. He asked how Hick got away without a handrail on the front porch, and Hick said, "Huh. I don't know. I guess the inspector likes me." Hick says Realtor Guy didn't mention it, but he still wants to put another coat of green paint on the front door. Which matches the roof.

In the cellar, Realtor Guy found a board that shows old termite evidence. Hick gave him a copy of the certificate that Bargain House was treated for termites by a licensed exterminator just a couple months ago. Hick said he did that because he had also seen old evidence on some boards up under the house, but never any signs of active termites. Realtor Guy said that's good, and took the certificate, and told Hick to cover up or get rid of that one board in the cellar.

Realtor Guy liked Bargain House. He asked Hick if he'd done all that work himself, which Hick confirmed. Not slighting Old Buddy. Just emphasizing that a contractor was not needed for the renovation. Just a couple of professionals here and there, like for the ceiling patch-and-match in the kitchen, and digging out and replacing the sewer line. Realtor Guy was impressed, and Hick was VALidated.

Realtor Guy is sending his photographer on Monday or Tuesday. He said he will honor our contract with Realtor, and only take 5% for his commission. He's doing it for all her properties. He mentioned the price Hick had originally mentioned to Realtor when Bargain House was about half done. Realtor Guy said, "That's not enough!" Hick agreed, and added $19,000 to that, for a starting price.

Realtor Guy said he's going to push Bargain House with a certain type of loan that I forget. He told Hick that he might need to put in a vapor barrier under the floor with this kind of loan. Hick said we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. He's not sure how much that would cost, and what type of buyer we might get. In case they don't need that kind of loan.

This is a good time of year to get a house on the market, I think. 

The SUS2.5 Has an Eclectic Inventory

Hick went to the city yesterday, to his honey hole of treasures he found when picking up his new used trailer. He didn't take the trailer back to load it up, but he DID take his toolbox out of SilverRedO. Unless he bought a new toolbox. Because I saw a silver metal truck toolbox sitting on the sidewalk by the carport, so he's either missing one, or gained one. Anyhoo... he picked up a lot of stuff for his Storage Unit Store 2.5.

Hick said he bought the two bicycles that lady had for sale. I haven't asked yet what he paid for them. He only said, "I hope I come out good on those bicycles." 

Hick also has ANOTHER bicycle that he got for FREE along our county blacktop road. It was parked outside the gate, with a sign labeled FREE leaning against it. I tipped off Hick on his way home, to tell him to look for it. It was getting dark that night, but he stopped, and came home with the bicycle. It's a sturdy bicycle. Looks kind of like a mountain bike. I don't know the brand, but it looks fairly new. As Hick said, "The only problem I can see with it is that it don't have a seat." Well. I'm sure Hick can find a bicycle seat. That doesn't seem to be a good reason to get rid of a bicycle. Though it might be, if you don't ride it anyway.

Meanwhile, Hick sent me a text earlier this week:

"My new can holder."

I suppose such an item will appeal to his clients who collect beer memorabilia. I, myself, am not so impressed with this new item. 

I guess Hick has a little bit of something for everybody. I can't even tell what the other things are in that case. Some old matchbooks, and multipurpose knives, maybe. But it's not his case of vintage pocketknives. The beer cans themselves are old, still with the pull tab. Sometimes Hick gets them with the beer still inside. I wouldn't recommend drinking it!

Hick Makes a Liar Out of Val

Hick has a way of upsetting Val's applecart. If it was an actual applecart, Hick would barge into it, sending apples flying all willy-nilly, then give a short lecture on how it was Val's fault for placing her applecart in plain sight, and proceed to rebuild it into a better applecart, and fill it with twice as many apples, which he had been given by an apple-growing buddy.

We're not here to talk about apples. We're here to talk about Val's blog posts. Which won't keep the doctor away, despite reading one every day. And don't make a very good pie, nor a crunchy snack with a spoonful of peanut butter or slice of sharp cheddar.

I write my blog posts the day before, usually around noon, and set them to publish the next day at 8:00 a.m. Sure, I COULD go in to correct things, but that would eliminate the satisfaction of having them done and ready to go, with my afternoon and evening free for scratchers and TV and other innernetting.

The tale of Hick's do-gooding with rent subsidies was already in the can by Tuesday evening. Which I concluded with the revelation that Hick gets nothing extra for going to the trouble of getting the HUD paperwork done, to hopefully qualify his residents for lower out-of-pocket rent. Nor for all the other "little things" he does to make apartment life easier for the elderlies.

Hick had to come home and make a liar out of me, when the ink wasn't yet dry on that story.

"I was waiting for our monthly meeting to start, with the apartment board, and my boss called me out into the hall. He said, 'I just want you to know, before it happens, that I'm going to ask for you to get a $100 raise for the good job you've been doing here.' That made me feel really good. And then the board voted to approve it."

So now, Hick makes less than $400 a month for taking care of the apartments! That's a 25% pay increase. Shh... don't tell anyone, but I think Hick would probably do it for free.

A Regular Do-Gooding Crusade

Hick is on fire with his do-gooding crusade. He couldn't find the valentine hearts for his harem at Save A Lot, but he DID find some at Walmart. So that plan is in motion, and 10 elderly ladies will be sweetly surprised on Valentine's Day. Or more likely, the day before. 

Sorry dudes! Hick would think it weird to give a valentine to a guy, and those elderly men would likely feel the same way. They might secretly be disappointed about not getting chocolates, but I doubt any will say anything about it. It's a generational thing. They didn't grow up with everybody getting a trophy.

Hick hasn't forgotten the dudes, though. He was doing his best to help one yesterday, stopping just short of arm-twisting! I guess having good done for you is not completely painless. I was on the phone with Hick when this went down.

"Where are you?"

"Walking to my office at the apartments. 'Bobby! Bobby, come in here a minute.'"

"I'll let you go if you're busy."

"I want to talk to him about HUD. See you later."

HUD is one of the bones Hick had to pick with the city officials. He thought the residents might qualify for subsidized rent, but nobody at the city had completed the necessary paperwork to allow them to apply. There was some confusion about it being for the whole building, and not for individuals. I don't know anything about it, other than from Hick's friend Buddy (of the Badly-Blacktopped Hill) renting houses to people who qualified for HUD. He had to meet certain requirements in his houses, but part (or all) of his rent was guaranteed by HUD, and the residents paid less out of pocket.

Anyhoo... this HUD situation has been rectified, and several of Hick's tenants are getting a discount. I think the rent there is between $550 and $600 a month. Hick said those who have qualified for HUD are now paying around $265 per month. According to Hick:

"That's a big difference, when they might only have $1100 a month income."

Anyhoo... Hick talked to Bobby, who said he hadn't bothered with the paperwork, because he figured it would only be about $20-$30 a month discount. Hick told him about the others, and how much they got discounted, and Bobby said:

"Give me those papers! I'll have my daughter get started on them tonight!"

Of course that made Hick happy. He gets nothing for doing this. No kickbacks, no glory. But by cracky, Hick is gonna help those elderlies, whether they want him to or not!

Hick Has Plans for His Harem

Shh... don't tell anybody, but Hick has a plan for his harem of elderly women at the senior apartments. He's going to give them valentines! Not the paper kind, like a kid at school. Though the thought of that makes me smile: the little old ladies making themselves a valentine box, decorating it to impress Hick.

Hick is wanting to give them candy. A little valentine box of candy. He had The Pony and me checking around to see if we could find something suitable on our Errand Day. We found a little heart-shaped box of candy at Country Mart. It looked like the right size. Cost $3.99. Then The Pony looked closer, and saw that it only contained three pieces! That's not enough. Not for that price. The next larger box was $8.99. I don't know how many pieces of candy, but that's too much to pay for 10 elderly ladies. That's almost 1/3 of Hick's monthly salary, heh, heh!

When I was in Save A Lot, I saw a small heart-shaped box of chocolates. It was $1.69, and had five pieces. That seemed right. I bought one, and brought it home to show Hick. He was reading the back of the box, where it listed what kind. I remember caramel and strawberry cream. I told him I bought it as a sample, and that he could open it. To which Hick declared: "I'll eat that later!" Meaning the whole thing.

Anyhoo... I hope Hick goes to buy them soon, before the store runs out. I COULD do it, but this is Hick's good deed, and Hick's harem. I am not making a special trip to buy his treats.

To the Hickster Go the Spoils

I asked Hick what kind of things he found while cleaning out the apartment of the elderly woman who recently passed away. Meaning what kind of treasures he might have gotten. Hick's answer was, "Lots of trash." Of course I had to interrogate inquire further. A lot of the trash was paperwork, like old tax forms and receipts.

Hick paid Old Buddy for help in cleaning up. It was three hours of work, so Old Buddy got $60 of Hick's $250 fee. Hick also gave him some things from the apartment.

"I took the clothes to donate them, like the daughter wanted. There was some purses. I took half, and Old Buddy took half. I found a little baby quilt, and I kept that. And an iron stand. It's like a metal plate with feet, that you set an old-fashioned iron on. I also took a couple of knick-knacks. Two birds. Then after we'd been to the dump, and had taken the other stuff down to my locker, Old Buddy found a hanging rack of shoes on the back of the door. I said he could have them, because I didn't want to drive back down to my locker. There was all kinds of shoes. Tennis shoes, slippers, and regular shoes. People buy them. So Old Buddy can have them."

Hick said he also found a "bunch of blankets." Meaning those fleece throws that were given as bingo prizes. He kept all them at the apartments, in his office. He's going to give them to other residents. I don't remember what the dump cost.

Hick didn't make a fortune off of his $250 service. But he cleared some cash, and got a couple of collectibles, and just what every man needs: some purses.

Loosey Goosey at the SUS2.5

With temps above freezing this week, and some of the snow melting, nothing would do for Hick but to travel down to his creekside cabin and retrieve his goose. I didn't even know he had a goose. I knew he had a deer head down there that the mice ate. So I was not too optimistic about getting Hick's goose. Turns out it was just fine. He loaded it in SilverRedO to take to his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5).

Of course he had to send me a picture of it hanging. Not that I can make it out clearly. There are a lot of distractions in the background. Again, I don't even know what some of that merchandise is for.

I can see a clock. Some belts or straps. A few pictures. Some fishing lures on the shelf on the right. Some tied flies in a frame to the left. I could not figure out what's on the pegboard behind the goose's head. At first I thought they were lead sinkers for fishing line. Then I decided they were just some kind of clip to hold things on the pegboard. It wasn't until I tried to get a closeup of the goose that I figured it out. I believe those are pistols, and we are just seeing the back of the grip. My dad always took a pistol when we went fishing. For snakes.

The goose itself looks a bit worse for wear. Like some bully tousled its head. Then again, it's pretty old. Hick said he bought it with a bunch of other stuff, because the guy said it was just hanging there, doing nothing. Which it has done in Hick's creekside cabin, and now in the SUS2.5. I don't know that they EXPECT it to do! It's a dead stuffed goose. Hick paid $50 for it. I imagine he would sell it if he got an offer.

Val Has Been Knocked Over by a Feather

Did Not-Heaven just freeze over? I know it's been excessively cold around here, but that doesn't explain a sudden turn of events. The cake has been taken. My flabber has been gasted. Pigs are surely flying above Backroads!

On Tuesday, Hick was offered a payment for his wrecked trailer!

"I talked to The Buddy today. He asked me if I would take $1500 for my wrecked trailer. Said his relative (the one who actually wrecked the trailer The Buddy had borrowed from Hick) was giving him $1500, to see if they could call it done."

"I'm shocked! I didn't think we'd ever see a penny for that trailer."

"Yeah, I'm a little surprised."

"What did you pay for the new one?"

"Nineteen hundred."

"What did you pay for the one that got wrecked?"

"Fourteen fifty, two years ago. But I had just put $600 worth of tires on it."

"Well. I'm surprised he's offering you this amount. I'd say go ahead, and then The Buddy can quit worrying about it."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. But I wanted to see what you thought."

"The Buddy isn't the one who wrecked it, and his relative didn't do it on purpose. They thought they had insurance on it. It was an accident. Nobody got hurt. They need the money more than we do. I'd say take the $1500 and be done with it."

"Okay. I'll tell him."

Thursday evening, Hick came home with 15 hundred-dollar bills. The trailer chapter has ended.

Hick Knows How to Make a Buck

Hick had some sad news last week from the senior apartments. One of the residents passed away. Not IN her apartment. Her family had moved her into a care home in December. They were still paying the apartment rent. I asked Hick if she was having issues, and needed assistance.

"That's the funny thing. She was just fine. Cuttin' up with them other gals at lunch. I'd tell them jokes. Like 'What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb.' She'd just laugh and laugh along with them. I didn't see nothin' wrong with her, except she was 89 years old. Then all of a sudden, they tell me she died!

The gal who runs the lunch service said the son-in-law asked if she knew anbody who could clean out the apartment and get rid of the stuff. I said that I'd do it for $250. To ask and see if he wanted to talk to me. He did. He said they'd go through and get what they wanted, and then they'd pay me to clear out everything else. He asked if I'd take the clothes to the local ministerial alliance, so they could go to somebody who needed them. I said I would. He said that's what his wife wanted. I said if it was nice stuff, I would." 

Well. A few days later, Hick said he had the apartment almost cleaned out. "Except for the clothes. They're going to the dump when I take some other stuff to throw away."

"You can't do that! You promised you'd take them to the alliance store. I think it's terrible not to carry out a dead woman's wishes."

"It wasn't the dead woman. It was what her daughter wanted. Nobody's gonna want the clothes of an 89-year-old woman."

"Still. You said you would do it."

"They'll never know."

This was upsetting. If you say you'll do something, you should do it!

Yesterday, Hick said that he'd be meeting with the son-in-law so he could look through the apartment, and then pay Hick his $250.

"Oh, and I took the clothes over to the thrift store. So I did what they wanted."

Good for Hick. It was only the decent thing to do. Also, Hick said there was a family picture.

"I kept it and showed the son-in-law. I figured since it was family, they'd want it. He said no! 'Nobody wants that! It's my wife with her first husband, and their kids. She sure doesn't want it, and I don't, either.' He was pretty clear on that. But I thought I should ask."

Anyhoo... the apartment has been cleaned, and Hick rented it to somebody else. Plus, he made almost his monthly salary with the clean-out. Less the cost of the dump.

He Said/He Said/He Said

Remember the hubbub Hick and Business Owner had over HIS LAND that is being used as part of a business driveway? They reached an agreement on January 8 for Hick to get $1200 for HIS LAND in exchange for his silence at a variance meeting about the property. Then both agreed to pay half the costs for a title search.

I signed the paperwork on Thursday, January 15. I remember it well, because it was Thursday errand day, the day after my yearly lunch with my best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel, and the day before the big cold snap on Friday, when I started staying home due to the weather.

Hick asked me that afternoon if the gal at the title company gave me a check. No. She said that Business Owner hadn't been there yet. From what I recall, they were expecting him later that afternoon, though I don't remember her exact words. That was just my impression. Hick said he figured they'd call him to come pick up the check. The call never came.

This Monday, February 2, Hick went by the title office. To ask about his check. They didn't have it. Said that Business Owner hadn't signed the papers yet.

"She said they had called him several times, but he hadn't come in. So I sent a text to his son. I said, 'I know you're just the middle man, but I did my part. You'd think your dad could at least have the decency to do what he promised.' He said he'd talk to his dad. A few minutes later he sent back a text that his dad was on his way over there now to sign. That nobody from the title office had ever contacted him that the papers were ready."

"Well, you seem like the rumpushole now."

"How's that? I did what I was supposed to. He's the reason I didn't get the check."

"It's the way you worded it."

"I didn't say nothin' bad! Only that I did my part, and he should do his. I'll read it to you..."

"See? Right there. When you said, 'You'd think he'd have the decency.' That was not necessary. It's like trying to start a fight."

"Well, HE's the one who didn't sign the papers. And I did."

"Yeah. It's been two weeks. But you didn't need to have a chip on your shoulder."

Anyhoo... Hick got a call the next day, and picked up the check. It wasn't from the title company. It was from Business Owner. A business check, made out to Hick for the $1200. Which meant we had to write a check to the title company for $147.50 for our half of the title search. Not a big deal. Just an unexpected inconvenience. Usually at a closing, the buyer pays the title company, who then pays the seller, after deducting out fees.

I'm not sure who's the reason for the delay. It's not Hick, because he signed the papers, and I went the next day and signed. MAYBE the title company called Business Owner, and he didn't recognize the number and didn't answer. MAYBE they left a message and he didn't get it. MAYBE he knew all about it, and was just making it difficult for Hick to collect the check. 

For being such a "nice guy," according to his son and some of Hick's acquaintances... Business Owner sure seems to have an odd way of doing business.

Courtesy of Hick's Two Feet

In the midst of my open house here, showing the interior that is finished, though cluttered, of Bargain House... there was a development behind the scenes. Thursday, Hick came home with some news:

"I was getting my toes done this afternoon (his monthly pedicure), and The Gal said she was living with her husband's family, and she was really unhappy about it. I told her I had fixed up a house and was ready to sell it. She wanted to look at it. So I showed her."

"You took her in the house? With all that junk laying around?"

"It didn't hurt nothin'. She could see the house. She said she liked it. Several times. She really liked it. She asked how much I wanted for it, and I told her that amount we agreed on. She said she was going to tell her husband."

"Do they have kids? It's only two bedrooms. They'd have to share a bedroom."

"Two boys. One is at least old enough to drive. She said they already share a room now, where they're staying. That's not a problem. If she wants it, we can just go through the title company, and we won't have to pay a commission to a realtor."

"Is she from here? Does she know how to get loan and all that? Maybe she NEEDS a realtor to walk her through what to do. I AM from here, and I would be lost. I'd rather have a realtor handle everything for me."

"I think she's from Vietnam. Her English is okay. I assume she knows how to get a loan. I was talkin' to one of my buddies, and he said, 'You never know. They might just pay cash for it. Maybe they've been saving.' Which is true. I said I could show her the house in the evening, but she said she had another job then. So we went in the day."

"Well, I'm not going to count on it."

"She really wants it. But we'll see."

On Friday, Hick came home saying that The Gal had brought Her Husband to see the house. 

"He wasn't as excited about it as she was. He didn't like the bathroom floor. The small bathroom. Because it's not the same flooring as the living room. If that's all that's stopping them, I'd rip up the floor and replace it to match. It's only about $150 and a couple hours of work. They're coming back on Sunday, and bringing somebody else to look at it."

"Who else would they be bringing? Like, an appraiser? Or family?"

"I don't know. Only that I'm going to meet them on Sunday afternoon."

It was actually starting to sound like this deal might be serious. But then on Saturday night, Hick got a text from The Gal.

"She says she can only get a loan for $100,000. Because she just bought a car. So they don't have enough. She was letting me know, so I don't have to meet them tomorrow."

"Well, that's too bad. She really wanted it. But at least she knows how to go about getting a loan."

"Yeah. It would have been a good deal for both of us."

You never know. Hick might charm someone else into taking a look at Bargain House. But I doubt his feet will have anything to do with it.

Bargain House Progress: Kitchen

There's really no new progress on the kitchen. You've seen the pictures of it completed. These are just pictures The Pony took after cleaning. Though I don't know how effective that cleaning could be, what with Hick having junk strewn across the counters.

See what I mean? At least this picture gives you an idea of how the kitchen is situated, at the end of the living room. That kitchen window looks out on the side street where Hick parks SilverRedO.

There wasn't much cleaning to do for the microwave, stove, and refrigerator, since they're all new. I like how Hick left the tag on the oven door. Again, there's his assorted clutter.

Here's the other side of the kitchen. Room for a table. That door goes into the hall that goes past the big bathroom, and leads to the big bedroom.

This concludes our progress tour of Bargain House. But there's a story about it coming up.

Bargain House Progress: Large Bedroom

The large bedroom of Bargain House has been done for a while. It is also remarkably free of clutter! Plus it includes artwork from Hick's collection, heh, heh!

I don't consider that box on the bed to be clutter, after seeing the state of the other rooms. That's a twin size bed Hick had in the Beauty Shop. He might nap there while Old Buddy works! There is plenty of room in here for a larger bed. That's a decent closet.

This bedroom has two windows. The left one looks out into the back yard, and the other is on the side with a view of the neighbor's house. I like the black baseboard trim. It goes well with the flooring.

You get to this bedroom through a door off the kitchen. There's a little hallway without a door to the actual bedroom. The big bathroom is off that hall. Here's an older picture to get an idea:

That white door leads into the kitchen. The opening on the right is the door to the big bathroom. This is before Hick put down the flooring.

In looking through the older pictures, I discovered where Hick is getting his artwork! Seems there's a plethora of wall hangings that were in the house when we bought it.

There's the picture that hangs in the living room now! The closet here was enlarged to make the small bathroom. A door was put in where those pictures are stacked, to access the living room. And a closet was built where the wardrobe is standing next to the pictures.

Hick is kind of a wizard when it comes to renovating an old house.

Bargain House Progress: Large Bathroom

The large (originally the ONLY) bathroom in Bargain House is truly finished. Has been for a while. The Pony was just dusting it off. A little scrubbing and toilet cleaning, mainly.

Hick has even decorated THIS room with art, heh, heh. I stand by my approval of the flooring choice, and only regret that structural issues under the house prevented the vent from being in a less prominent location. Hick was not going to move a support beam to relocate a vent.

That's a brand-new tub and shower enclosure. No reason for a buyer to feel squeamish about using a used tub. The toilet and sink are also new. This bathroom got ripped down to the studs, and was completely re-done. Of course, everything in the small bathroom is also new, since no bathroom existed there before Hick framed it out of part of the front bedroom.

The fancy lights add a nice touch. I'm hoping in reality that they make the bathroom lighter than The Pony's picture! That's just a mirror, but there's a medicine cabinet on the wall to the left, out of the picture.

The good news is that there's no clutter piled in this room!