Val Makes a Chilling Discovery

The Pony came out Sunday evening to help Hick prepare POOLIO for the winter. The cover has to be spread evenly, and tied down with cords at intervals around the sides. It was a steamy 94 degrees as I left for town.

When I came home, the job was done. Hick and The Pony were chatting in the living room, The Pony sipping ice water from a red SOLO cup. That's one thing The Pony misses while living in town: our well water.

I started preparing my Shasta Zero Sugar with squeezed lemon juice. When I opened FRIG II's freezer, I was astounded.

"What's going on here? The ice is FULL! Way too full. It wasn't like that this morning at 10:00, when I put ice in my water bottle."

"Oh. You mean it's WORKING," said The Pony.

"It's been working for quite a while now, ever since it spontaneously started up again after months of being broken. But it hasn't been working THIS much!"

I reached into the bin for my plentiful crescent ice cubes. We haven't used the lever on the outside of the door for many years. It had a habit of getting ice stuck in the opening, then crushing it into a powder. So Hick "fixed" it. Which meant that now it has a problem of shooting too much ice out, and not stopping, because Hick removed some part. 

Anyhoo... as I tried to grab a handful of ice, I realized that I was holding a SLAB of ice as long as the bin. It was on the right side, with loose cubes in the center.

"OH! I just found out why the ice bin is so full! It appears that PONY used the lever when getting ice for ice water! And pushing the lever made that spiral turning thing in the bottom move a slab of ice off the bottom of the bin, and all the other cubes are just sitting on top of it after it was lifted up."

"What? Oh. I DID use the lever..."

"Come get this slab out. We might have to take out the bin."

"Nope. I got it."

The Pony pulled out that slab of ice. It was as long as my laptop, and half as wide. The Pony chucked it into the sink, and went back for another slab, about 2/3 its size. The ice cube level was back to normal, and my sink was full of icebergs. Which I found out later had settled on the drain plug thingy, so I had a sink full of ice water.

The mystery was solved, and FRIG II's freezer is still making ice.

Val Has a Rare Reversal of Opinion

I left for town around 4:30 on Saturday. As I was easing myself one leg at a time down the steps, talking to Jack on the side porch, I heard a vehicle tearing down the gravel road. At first I thought maybe it was someone on a tractor, smoothing the gravel around. But it sounded too fast for that as it passed. So I deduced that it must be a 4-wheeler or side-by-side (like Hick's Gator, only sportier). When I got to the end of the driveway, I could see nothing but a cloud of dust hanging over the road. No vehicle in sight. But the tracks on the gravel screamed SIDE-BY-SIDE!

A tractor is wider than a car. These tire prints were closer together. And had made a distinct pattern in the gravel. It was like an S or a $. Weaving from side to side. JOYRIDING! Maybe to live dangerously. Maybe to kick up dust for fun. In any case, such evidence did nothing to rekindle (oops! KINDLE. You can't "re" something that was never there) Val's love fondness toleration of side-by-sides. They are the devil's mount! Keep them away from me! Accidents waiting to happen!

That's how I feel about these vehicles on the roads, like our 55 mph lettered blacktop highway to town. So many people drive them, with no sides, no helmets, and kids riding in the back. They don't stand a chance in a collision with a REAL automobile.

Anyhoo... this is the country. Our gravel road doesn't have a lot of traffic compared to the blacktop highway. But there ARE 45 families out here. So there are cars and trucks on the gravel road. Most drive around 25 mph, except the idiots. It's the weekend. Visitors and kids are out riding on the gravel road. There was really no reason for my cantankerousness. Still, I was sad that nobody was around to see me shake my fist and grimace in their direction.

I tooled along in T-Hoe, kicking up my own dust. At the top of Hick and Buddy's Badly-Blacktopped Hill, I slowed cautiously, because there's a curve to the left halfway down, and you can't see what's coming up. With that deep ditch along the right side, I don't want to have a collision, or tip over trying to get out of the way.

 

Welp! Here came a side-by-side, around the curve, tearing up the hill! It was driven by a teenage boy, with several cronies as passengers. I hit the brakes and eased T-Hoe as close as I could get to the ditch/chasm. And the most unexpected thing happened!

The SxS Driver slowed, pulled all the way over next to the trees, with only two tires left of the gravel, and stopped!!!

I gave a thank-you wave, and continued down the hill. That's when the most unbelievable thing of all occurred! 

SxS Driver lifted his hand to acknowledge my thank-you wave!!!

That's a pretty good kid. I hope he enjoyed his afternoon of joy-riding.

Too Many Carpenters Spoil the Apartment

Hick continues to be on-call for his newest job. I was trying to get his supper ready on Thursday night when his phone rang. The call went on and on. Of course I wanted supper to be Hick's focus, rather than an afterthought or an activity he could do while talking. This one would have been difficult. He was having a homemade McRib with sliced onion and pickle, with a side of thawed-out warmed-up roasted vegetables. That McRib was going to need two hands.

Hick wandered around the kitchen, letting forcing me to hear one side of the conversation. I hate that! It seemed like the call would never end. Hick finally saw me putting his rib on a plate, and wrapped up the conversation.

"That lady wanted to rent an apartment. I told her they were all full. I told her sometimes people move out. That one guy has been saying he's going to for months. And that I DO have one that I'm trying to fix up to get ready to rent, but it will take a while.

She said her dad is living in the city. He's lived in this place 36 years, and now it's being sold. Her and her husband want to get him down here, closer to them. He has too much money to get into any places that give assistance. He just needs a place to live. I told her I don't have any way of knowing when I might have an apartment. To text me her details, and I will put her on the waiting list with other people who have called me.

She said her husband is a retired carpenter, and he would be glad to help me get this other apartment ready. I said I can't do that. Because of insurance and stuff. I wish everybody I dealt with was like her!"

Heh, heh! Not me! She might be nice, but it's people like this who can take up a LOT OF TIME, just talking to them! Hick started off by telling her he didn't have any apartments available. Could she just ask if there was a waiting list, and move on? NO! Hick had to hear her entire life story, for something that was out of his control, and would have no influence on getting her an apartment. 

Not being mean. It's just that Hick's less-than-$300-a-month job sure takes up a lot of time.

The Pony was Yesterday Years Old Upon Learning...

The Pony joined me for Errand Day yesterday. One of the main stops is the bank. We both use the same one. I was withdrawing the weekly cash allowance for myself and Hick. The Pony was depositing some money from the recent sale of our upper 10 acres. I did my business at the drive-thru, while The Pony prefers to go into the lobby for transactions.

While we were out, The Pony was also going to give me some checks for expenses on the flip houses. I have been remiss in writing up the monthly bills for The Pony's records. I insist on separate checks for expenses attributed to the Double Hovel, Bargain House, and The Pony's house. So The Pony can keep it straight for tax purposes. Anyhoo... as I said, I'm behind with that. So there's June, July, and August to deal with.

I got my cash, and pulled around front for The Pony to go inside.

"I'll just write you my checks now, Mom."

"You don't have to do it today. I'm not going to put them in the bank today. I'll have to fill out my deposit slip and add it up. So next Thursday is when I'll deposit them."

"I can go ahead and give them to you while we're sitting here."

The Pony started writing out checks. 

"Huh. I was sure I had more than two checks with me! But look! What's this stuff? I thought it was just more checks and the carbons. But it's these other things."

"Those are your DEPOSIT SLIPS! Like, you fill it out and take it in with that check you're going to deposit right now."

"Why would I do THAT? I just give the girl the check and my ID."

"Um. Because it has your account number on it! So they know which account to deposit your check in!"

"She can just look that up with my ID!"

Kids any generation younger than ours these days! How will they survive?

On the flip side, I was reading an article (heh, heh, how many kids do THAT these days?) about a 7th grade teacher who asked his students to write down what 40-year-olds do for fun. I suspect that teacher might be 40 years old...

Anyhoo... here are some of the things those students listed:

Play Wordle

Crochet

Talk on their landlines

Sit in a chair and yell, "Get off of my lawn!"

Complain about everything I do

Balance their checkbook

Actually, they're not so wrong. Except maybe with the age of 40.

Treading Water on the New Venture

No news to report on the dirt cheap house Hick and The Pony want to buy. Of course, at the time I write this, it's only been 36 hours since we found out it existed. Maybe that's a sign. Maybe not.

Hick talked to Loan Officer, who said that TECHNICALLY, the house was not yet in foreclosure. He would have to discuss the matter further about the legalities of what Hick was proposing. Heh, heh. Maybe he didn't think Hick would act immediately.

I don't know how this stuff works. Hick says the S&L will post a notice when the property is foreclosed, and it will be sold to the highest bidder on the courthouse steps. I guess I'll take his word for it. I thought they only had that kind of sale once a year. But Hick says I'm thinking about the TAX SALE for properties that have delinquent taxes for three years. That's how he bought some of his "investment" properties. Like his strip of land...

Anyhoo... Hick says they can set a minimum for such a sale. But usually, they're just stuck with the highest bid that's offered. That Lady told Hick on Tuesday evening that a man had offered her less than half of what Hick was willing to pay. Of course Hick told Loan Officer about that. Tipping his hand that he knew EXACTLY how much was owed on the loan. Not sure if Hick was playing "Big Spender," or subtly pointing out that no one else would be crazy enough to pay off that loan for such a junky house.

Anyhoo... it's a prospect on the horizon. It could be a playground for Hick over the winter, or at least light a fire under him to finish Bargain House and get it on the market.

Dang Our 2/3 Partnership Rule!

There may be big news coming from Thevictorian Flipping Co. There may not. 

Hick was toiling away at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) Tuesday, after the installation of our new HVAC unit. I don't know what he does there when not selling, but it keeps him from working on more worthwhile projects busy. Around 3:00, I got a strange email from an unexpected source.

It was a loan officer at our Savings and Loan. The place where we'd borrowed $60,000 over 28 years ago to build our hillbilly mansion. A loan which has long been paid off. We used to have two savings accounts there, but have since squandered that money on college expenses not covered by scholarships, land, houses, and put into higher-yielding sources. There's just one account left, that Hick uses for his business. 

The email was to Hick, asking him to call Loan Officer, or text his phone number. Well. I didn't imagine anything was wrong with Hick's money, because it's not all that much to worry about. I had an inkling it might be about a tip on a flip house. Hick checks in with Loan Officer a few times a year, just to see if he knows of any foreclosures coming up. Sometimes he does.

I called Hick, who called Loan Officer, who said there's a foreclosure house that could probably be bought for about $22,000! I'm sure that no matter what part of the country you're in, you realize that such a price is REALLY cheap for a house. It's cheaper than Bargain House. Of course Hick said he would go take a look at it.

Loan Officer said that there are signs posted to KEEP OUT. But that the city building inspector could probably let Hick inside. He could not. But he said he knew who could: the lady in charge of it who lived right down the street. Without going into too much detail, she's a relative of the current owner (who is unable to make the payments). He gave Hick her phone number.

Hick went to the house, and That Lady was there! She let him in. Said she couldn't believe the condition the house had fallen into. Hick agreed. He said the whole thing would have to be gutted and re-done. Just like Pony House, which at least was already gutted when we bought it. For just a little over the price of this one.

That Lady told Hick what was remaining on the loan, and how much she was hoping to get, but that she wasn't paying a penny of this loan. So if the S&L didn't sell it for whatever they got offered, they would be stuck with it.

Hick said it would be a big job, but the location is good, and the outside looks good enough, but it might need a roof. He thinks the furnace and electric are fine. Oh, and it has a new toilet, heh, heh.

Hick called The Pony, who knows the outside of the house, having delivered mail there for a bit. The Pony looked up comps in the neighborhood, and there could be a decent profit, depending on how much we put in. Hick and The Pony want to buy it. I am not so sure...

Nothing may come of it. Loan Officer might not accept Hick's offer. 

Dang our 2/3 partnership rule! 

Val Is Cool Again

Thevictorians are the poor proud owners of a new air conditioner/heating system. I thought this day would never come. Or end. I've been dreading it. I hate people in my house. I hate an appointment hanging over me, making my time less enjoyable at the thought. I pretty much just hate everything that affects my routine.

The AC Team got here at 8:00, as promised. I had asked Hick if his buddy was coming, or just the flunkies. Because I would be reluctant to hand over an envelope of $8500 cash to some flunkies. I'm reluctant enough to hand it over to the boss of the company himself, Hick's buddy. Hick knows that. He didn't even let me touch that money! He counted it out from the one safe the night last night, and put it in an easier-to-get-to safe to dole out to his buddy after the installation. Saved him prying it from my cold, not-yet-murdered fingers.

Hick had given me many estimates of how long they'd be here. Kind of like Jerry telling Elaine how long she would be sleeping on the fold-out couch with the bar in her back, during their visit with Jerry's parents Helen and Morty at Del Boca Vista. Every time Hick told me, the time got shorter.

"I imagine they'll be here about four hours."

"They'll probably be done in three hours."

"It should just take a couple hours."

Sure... imagine my increasing disgruntledness as each checkpoint passed. They were STILL HERE! At least they stayed mainly in the basement, only coming up to replace the thermostat. I had a bit of panic when the kid installing it was missing a yellow wire. Hick was watching him like a hawk ready to swoop in on a field mouse. Turns out he had just missed the yellow wire, which was shoved back in the wall too far.

Anyhoo... the deed is done now, after FOUR AND A HALF HOURS! I don't like the new thermostat, because it looks cheap. I guess that's how Hick saved his $200 barter-money...

Hick left for town to get lunch and spy on Old Buddy, who had been assigned to do some painting in Bargain House. He left the new thermostat set on 72! See? I told you he's trying to kill me! I caught him on his way out the door and told him to put it on 74, like regular, because I would freeze to death. I'll have to learn how it works later.

Did I mention that I hate learning new technology?