Apparently, The Pony Was Clompin' For a Chompin'

Here we go again. Just when I figured The Pony was home safe from work Monday, on our first snowy day, I got a text at 5:33.

"Home. Got bitten by a dog again. Right buttcheek this time."

"Nooo! Can I call?"

Permission granted, I got the details. 

"It was the last 20 minutes of my route. It's a house that always has their dog put up. I was taking them a package when the dog ran up behind me and bit my butt. It ran around to the back of the house after that. It's a medium-sized dog that looks like it might be part dalmatian. A girl came to the door. A daughter, I think. I said, 'Here's a package for you, and your dog just bit me.' She must have seen me coming, because she opened the door right up, and she was hollering at some guy, maybe a boyfriend or brother, to keep the dog in the house.

Since it's always inside, I figure SOMEBODY, probably that guy, just let it out to poop because it was so cold, and he didn't want to walk it on a leash. It tore two holes in my shorts with its teeth. Looks like only one tooth went all the way into my butt. I was pretty upset when I got back. This starts the whole dog thing all over again. Two managers were there. They said I had 24 hours to decide if I wanted to go to the doctor for it, but they won't force me to if I don't want to. I still have the antibiotic ointment from the last dog bite. She didn't mention shots, but they seem to take care of that dog, because it's always inside."

Poor Pony! Here is the initial picture right after it happened:

Lucky that more teeth didn't take hold!

I'd say those shorts are still wearable... 

At the risk of skipping down the road to Inappropriateville, I'm going to show the flesh wound. Don't worry, it's a tight closeup. Just try to forget where it's located!

Not too deep, The Pony says. A little oozy. Kind of painful, but no bruising yet.

Tuesday morning, post-shower, it was looking good enough:

"Morning butt update: it looks more like a single shallow gouge and a few pressure tears, rather than a deep puncture. Still not fun. A bit swollen, no bruising yet, but also I don't have my glasses on while looking. Some further pictures show a bit of a bruise starting and a weird divot, depending on how I am standing."

I got an update at 10:16. "It is thankfully not the load bearing part of my butt. The weight isn't directly on it when I sit in the Metris."

Backroads definitely has a dog problem. Hick says if the dog bit now, it's probably bitten before. I don't know about that. It would explain why they always keep the dog in the house, and it's not out roaming like the other predatory curs that make The Pony's work life a challenge.

The Pony would have been protected from this one, had he been carrying a big fat George Costanza wallet in his pocket!

Hick Is Itchin'

It's pretty clear that Hick is itchin' to start a new project. Monday morning, he called me with a proposal.

"I was in [one of our financial institutions] to get some money out of my account. And I saw Loan Officer. The one who gave us the loan to build our house, and to buy our rental duplex a while back. I asked if he had any houses coming up for sale, and he said yes. That there's one in School-Turn Town that will be ready sometime in February. While he was checking to make sure with his secretary,  she said, 'And there's one for sale on the courthouse steps at 1:00 today.' So I got the address, and I'm on my way over there now. He said the price they're starting at for bids is [redacted]."

"We can't really do that right now. Our money is tied up in the Double Hovel. Yeah, we could come up with that amount. But The Pony can't contribute half right now. Taxes are due, and insurance. It's really not convenient."

"Loan Officer said that the money is due TODAY, but that if I'm interested, he will go over there and let them know that I'm good for it. We could get a loan, and probably not have to put anything down, because we can use the flip house for collateral on the down payment."

"Still, it will take money to renovate the house, and The Pony's money is tied up. So I don't think this is the right property for us. Maybe the other one in February."

"He says that one is really rough."

"So it will be cheaper. And we will know about it in time to prepare. And maybe the Double Hovel will sell. At least we could buy it and take our time paying for the renovations."

"Okay. I'll call back and tell Loan Officer. He wanted me to let him know. I said I'd have to check with you."

"Yeah. I know you want to be buddies with him. But this is not a good deal RIGHT NOW for us. I'm not even telling The Pony, because I know he can't afford this."

"Yes. We'd have to put up all the money. So I'll call Loan Officer."

When Hick did that, the Loan Officer apologized, and said he had checked on it, and that the money WOULD be due at the time of the auction. So that's good to know. A good decision, because that would have been a lot of scrambling to get the money in such a short time.

Another deal will come along. We just don't know about it yet.

Travels With My Placard: Somebody Needs a Swift Kick in the Rumpus

There are everyday rumpusholes, and then there are hard-core rumpusholes. This guy needs a swift kick in the rumpus. With pointy-toed Italian shoes that some guy wore on Survivor one year, worth $1600, that got filled with sand and dumped into the ocean by another competitor.

Once again, Val's rightful handicap space was taken by the white pickup truck dude who has absolutely nothing wrong with him except being a rumpushole. I've lost track of how many times he has been parked in my handicap space. Here's the picture after I backed up to leave:

Sunday, I was approaching my rightful handicap space from the front, placard swinging from the mirror, when White Truck Dude shot in from the back alley and TOOK MY SPACE! Oh, he saw me coming. In fact, he was in such a hurry to steal my space that he parked crookedly! 

I looped around and pulled in behind. I know he saw me in the mirror. He sat there a few minutes. Then got out and went inside. I hobbled along, not sure if he would ever return. He has a way of drawing out his visits. Good thing I didn't wait. Inside, White Truck Dude was good-ol'-boying with Fave. He wanted a draw ticket, and she made him step aside to fill out the form for his numbers. 

Once I had made my purchases, I hobbled back outside to find an air-sucker blocking me in! Not really his fault, because he needed air, and I had needed to park in the space closest to the FREE AIR hose. Not that it's designated for such a purpose.

Anyhoo... I waited until Air Guy was done pumping. What else could I do? I couldn't ram into him with T-Hoe. And I couldn't get out forward because of Rumpushole White Truck Guy being parked crooked.

What excuses can "you people" (is that triggering?) make for White Truck Guy this time?

"Oh, Val. Were there markings showing it was a handicap space?"

"Val, you are just cranky in your old age."

"Not all handicaps are visible."

"Maybe he isn't from around there, and doesn't know it's a handicap space."

"He might have been in a hurry to use the bathroom."

"Maybe he was planning to only be in there for a few seconds."

NO! This guy knows exactly what he's doing! He SAW me heading for that space, with my placard swinging! He has no placard. No handicap plate. He does not belong in that space.

The Pony Is Running Out of Body Parts to Injure

Friday was one of our coldest days so far. Temps in the 30s, with a little wind. At least The Pony now drives a Metris on his route, rather than an LLV (Long Life Vehicle). The Metris has heat! Even so, The Pony is in and out, walking the streets. I suppose he felt a draft...

I got a text mid-morning, telling me that The Pony thought he might be out until 7:00. So I wouldn't worry. The day after Thanksgiving is quite busy at the post office. A little after 6:00, The Pony sent another text that he was home. With a little too much information afterwards.

"I stabbed myself in the butt trying to tuck my shirt back in earlier. Literally scratched enough to bleed a bit! I was shocked when I took a bathroom break and there was blood and the clear claw marks in the mirror!"

Thankfully, no pictures were included! I did not ask why The Pony was looking at his butt in the mirror.

In other news, I asked The Pony if his neighbors had a trash can, since he stole his back from under their porch a couple weeks ago.

"Yes. They have a NEW trash can. It has a SMOOTH sticker on the side, not the wrinkly one like mine from sitting out in the weather. I used a purple-colored marker to write my address on mine for now."

Well. I guess that incident will have no lasting repercussions.