Val's Halloween Horror

I went to the bank on Halloween. Not because it was Halloween, but because it was Thursday, the regular day that I do errands in that town. I used to live there, in my $17,000 house, and have used the same bank through two changes of ownership. It was convenient back then. Now, not so much, but I DO have other business over there once a week.

Anyhoo... I hadn't been to the bank for two weeks. That's because I didn't need to withdraw our weekly cash, since Hick had paid us his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) electric bill and Lowe's bill with cash. So I used that in place of making a deposit and withdrawal. Thursday, I was back at the drive-thru for my regular withdrawal.

WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN???

The little traffic lights on all three drive-thru lanes were RED! Was the bank closed for Halloween? Was there some other holiday? The venetian blinds (it's an old bank) on the window where the drive-thru tellers look out were down. I pulled into my favorite drive-thru lane, just to get a look at that window and make sure. Besides, that was the only way I could get out of the parking lot. Huh. There was a printout taped to the tube where the cannister comes out. 

EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 28, 2024, NEW HOURS WILL BE:

LOBBY - 8:00 TO 5:00

DRIVE THROUGH - CLOSED

Nooooo! If I wanted to go into the lobby every week, I would go into the lobby! I need my drive-thru! I looped around down the alley, and back to the front parking lot. At least they have two handicap spaces, and a concrete ramp with a rail. 

I hobbled along to the door. A man had come in the wrong one-way direction into the lot, and was getting out of his car. Another car came in the wrong way, and backed into a space. The walking man held the door open for me. I thanked him, and told him to go ahead, since he was ahead of me anyway.

The lobby is small. Only one of the four slots was open. A young black man with shoulder-length braids, in a dark green button-up shirt, was working it, the far left slot. Green is my favorite color! He looked very banky. I have not seen him here before.

Door-Holder was moving money from one of his accounts to the other. He was asked for ID, and presented it. I leaned against the wall by the door, not wanting to sit down in one of the six available chairs. Sometimes it's easier to stand while leaning, than to stiffen up while sitting.

Overall Man came in next. He went to sit down and wait. After about five minutes, a gal came out of the back room. I suppose she had been on her break. It was a little after 3:30. I did not recognize her, either, from my previous views through the drive-thru window. She had short mousy hair, and glasses that kept slipping down her nose. Her attire was a skirt and knit top. Suitable for a bank teller, but a bit frumpy.

I was also depositing a check from my investment company, since there is a certain amount (RMD) that I have to take out every year. I put the check and deposit slip on the counter, along with a withdrawal slip (specifically asking for twenties), and my ID. I don't put both transactions on the same slip, because sometimes they want to say they're holding such a check for 10 days, and don't want to give a withdrawal, even though there is plenty of other money in our account. RULES! They don't always make sense.

Anyhoo... Mousey was working on my deposit. Green Shirt had finished with Door-Holder, and called Overall Man to the counter. He was wanting to withdraw $500, but said he had just come in because the ATM on the back wall by the drive-thru would not give him money. Green Shirt asked if he had the paper slip the ATM gave him. He did.

Mousey opened her drawer to give my cash, and was shocked to see that she didn't have enough twenties. "This never happens to me! Huh. I wonder if HE has enough."

Well. Sometimes that happens at the drive-thru. They say they have to go get it. I imagine them walking into the safe, but I suppose not every teller has access to the safe. That would be a big responsibility for someone who probably makes near minimum wage. Mousey just stood there.

"I can take other bills. They don't have to be twenties."

"Oh, you wouldn't want that. I only have tens and fives."

Well. I'll be the judge of that. I would gladly take ANY money to just get out of there. She had already given me my withdrawal receipt. Just not the cash. I suppose Mousey was waiting for a lull when she could ask Green Shirt about the twenties. Because she walked over there. He hesitated a moment.

"I'll take these right now, and I'll give you a receipt for them in a minute."

She took the bills, and went to the money-counting machine. I heard it whirring. Then she came back to my slot and counted them out in front of me.

"I haven't been here in a couple weeks, and now the drive-thru is closed! Is that ever going to re-open?"

"Yes. It's not permanent. It's just until we can get more people in here to work."

This whole NIGHTMARE had taken me 20 minutes. That's 20 minutes of standing on my knees, though I tried leaning at various angles on the wall, and later the counter. I got a sharp shooting pain above my left ample-rumpus cheek. Not sure what that was. But my point is: SOME PEOPLE NEED THE DRIVE-THRU!

I don't understand how only having the lobby open helps with short-staffing. Unless it deters some customers, and they drive away. The tellers still have to service the customers in the lobby. When the drive-thru is open, they go back and forth between counter and window. It's not like this new process is allowing them to service any more customers.

Hick's explanation was that the business customers can't put all their change and stuff in the cannister at the drive-thru. And...? How does this explain ANYTHING about closing the drive-thru? The business customers with that issue would be going into the lobby anyway!

Seriously. I would much rather sit on my ample rumpus for 20 minutes in T-Hoe's comfortable seat than stand for 20 minutes on my painful knees in the lobby. Am I missing something here?

Nose Out of Joint, Val Nearly Flattens the Bride of Satan

Thursday is my weekly errand day, and the fact that it fell on Halloween made no difference to me. Off to the bank and post office and Casey's and Country Mart. I didn't have a lot to get in Country Mart, and even considered skipping it, but they did have Hick's Diet Mountain Dew on sale until next Tuesday.

We'll begin when my nose was still in joint. I went by the deli, and got a big salad for me, as well as some cold fried chicken. I'm making pasta for Hick, which will last him three days at least. So I'm not going to cook another meal for myself. I'm not a big fan of pasta, but will eat it when there's nothing else for me.

From the deli, I crossed the aisle for nine bananas. Four long ones for Hick, five short ones for me. I ripped a bunch in half to get his, but I didn't want to leave a single banana behind from my bunch. I grabbed a box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes for Hick. He has one every night, and I couldn't remember how many he had left. He keeps them in FRIG II, because he likes them cold. Then it was off to the soda aisle.

There were more people in the store than normal. I always get there between 3:00 and 4:00. Always just one cashier on duty. They kept announcing for somebody to come to the front to check. In fact, when I got in line behind two other customers, they called somebody up. Of course the four teenagers who had just stepped in line behind me went to the newly-opened register. The last come first, I suppose. I guess they had just gotten out of school. They each had one item. I figured they would all be paying separately. Looked like snacks. NOT eggs or TP or other shenanigan supplies for the evening.

Anyhoo... my nose started bending out of joint when the young man who is usually so nice put ALL of my items in ONE BAG! And then double-bagged it! What's the point? It was too heavy for me, and the plastic containers of salad and chicken were on top of my tender bananas! With Little Debbie jammed down on the side. I have extra bags in T-Hoe's rear, for the very purpose of re-bagging what the clueless cashiers give me. So it was not totally unexpected. But then...

Young Man Cashier asked how I was doing. Just making conversation. And I said, "I didn't expect you to be so busy today." You know, because he was the main cashier at the first register, and they kept calling others up to help.

"Reeeally??? On HALLOWEEEEENNNN?"

This is what put me off. Excuuuuuse me for being an idiot who didn't realize that Halloween afternoon was the new Black Friday! In my day, Halloween afternoon was a time to get the kids right home, get homework done, supper eaten, costumes on, and hit the road for trick-or-treating. Not a time to go to the grocery store. What last-minute items could these people possibly need? With the exception of buying shenaniganning supplies, the teens should be getting ready for a night out, and the elderlies rushing home to turn out their lights and sit, barely breathing, until time for kids to be off the streets.

I guess Young Man Cashier was just frustrated from his busy day. The people I saw were only buying normal grocery items. I suppose it being the last day of the month might have had an impact. I was thinking the main rush would be on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, the first weekend of the month.

Anyhoo... in a miniscule fit of pique, I pushed my groceries out to T-Hoe. I got into the driver's seat, and wrote down my purchase in the checkbook register. Then I started T-Hoe, and began backing out of my parking space.

What in the NOT-HEAVEN??? Literally! The Bride of Satan strode out of the pharmacy door, and angled herself across the lot right behind T-Hoe! While I was in motion! Not a straight-across path, either. She made sure to block my path for a long time, while going down the hill to the main parking lot section.

I know she was the Bride of Satan, all decked out for Halloween, because she was wearing a bright red full-length dress with ruffles, and had her jet-black wig in a style like the gals on that old TV show Here Come the Brides, with Bobby Sherman. Not that Bobby was satan or anything. It was just that style of hair.

T-Hoe is from 2008. No backup camera. The backup beeper has been broken for at least 10 years. We had it fixed at the dealer, and it worked ONE DAY. No more money down that rat hole. I guess the Bride of Satan assumed that I would magically see her in time to jam on the brakes and let her pass.

When I told Hick about it, I said, "One day, I'd really like to flatten one of those idiots, just to teach them a lesson. But I figure it would take too much time away from my scratchers to deal with the lawsuit."