Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Not Sure Which One is More Butt Hurt

Remember Crazy Dude? The guy who threatened our back-creek neighbor? The one Hick helped her serve papers on for a restraining order? The one who used to put sticks in the road because he says he owns to the center line? His hearing is next week.

Hick wanted some evidence to show that this guy is unreasonable about the road. Even though he has stopped with the sticks, since other property owners banded together and removed them from the road and called the county sheriff when he threatened THEM...Hick wants the judge to see that Crazy Dude's tomfoolery continues. Especially now that Crazy Dude has served Bev the neighbor with a restraining order of his own, claiming that she killed two of his cats, and that he has lived in peace with the other neighbors for the last ten years.

Hick took a picture of one stretch of the road where Crazy Dude has put his fence posts alarmingly close to the thoroughfare. Somebody coming around that curve, needing to move over to allow oncoming traffic to pass (think of those big trucks the ROCKERS drive in and out of here) might have his vehicle impaled upon one of these metal fence posts. Oh. There's no fence. Just the posts. Making a statement, I presume.


Yes, Hick's picture is a bit blurry. But he wanted a color printout. He said it will be good enough. More disturbingly, I notice that it looks as if he took this picture from MY ACADIA! It's bad anough he got a dent in the side of his own car when driving over the then-sticks. No need for him to take my A-Cad on that stretch. I must make a note to...um...open a dialogue on this subject with Hick.

Also...as Hick was sitting in the La-Z-Boy with a heating pad under his unfortunate leg-butt-area injury from the auction last Friday, even though I told him NOT to use heat on it for at least three days...I noticed a rather large bruise on his upper inner thigh. This is not the area where he says he felt the pop, but I guess the blood is pooling there due to gravity, and he says it hurts to sit on that part of his leg, too.

Hick wanted me to take a picture of his injury. Never mind that he didn't even know there WAS a bruise until I pointed it out to him. He wanted a picture. At 8:45 Monday night. Even though I had just come in from walking and giving the dogs a snack, and was ready to make my own supper, Hick having supped a few hours previous.

You really don't want to see this, people. I'm sure you don't. But Hick sent it to me by email. So I figure it's fair game. What you need to know is that Hick was clad in his tighty-whities. And didn't care! So I had to take that picture about three times to exclude them, and the dangley bits that kept intruding into the frame. Hick was bent over the short couch, so the light source is not great, and the color does not do justice to Hick's affliction.

That upper inner thigh glowed like a sunrise. Like a tequila sunrise! Not that Val the teetotaler would know, unless perhaps from her somewhat jaded, misspent college years. Last chance to look away! Get ready...set...in all its glory...I present...Hick's Upper-Thighrise!


Yes, the picture is distorted due to the angle. You don't think I wanted my head down there, do you? Hick does not really have a leg like an ostrich drumstick. Those colors spread toward the inner thigh. Hick still proclaims that most of the pain is where his leg hooks onto his butt.

It's hard to tell who is more butt hurt...Crazy Dude, or Hick.

It's also hard to tell which one of you will have the most heart-stopping nightmare from this photo.

14 comments:

  1. #1 those T-Posts shouldn't be there, #2 Hicks leg shouldn't look like that, #3 your head probably shouldn't have been there, and #4 don't you just love the Acadia, that's what we have also.

    Crazy Dude is definitely crazy and does Hick need to get that leg looked at by the Doc?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. #1 T-Posts beside the road are better than sticks IN the road.

      #2 I agree.

      #3 Yeah, but Hick commanded me to take a picture.

      #4 I love the way it rides and handles, but getting in and out hurt my knees because the doors have a lip like a submarine door, which T-Hoe does not have.

      I've been telling Hick to see a doctor since Saturday. He's going today.

      Delete
  2. The posts are ridiculous, and I heeded your warning and looked away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just what you might expect from a crazy dude.

      You saved yourself a rush order of brain bleach.

      Delete
  3. Time to get out the brain bleach!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were given adequate warning. Few are immune. It's all fun and games until somebody needs his brain bleached.

      Delete
  4. Hick should probably see a doctor and I wouldn't put my head in HeWho's nether regions either. Maybe Hick should complain to your county commissioner about the road obstacle and let him deal with whatever agency should remove them. That is his job, to be a voice for his constituents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hick got a work-in doctor's appointment this afternoon. As for my head being in Hick's...let's just say that I've been having dizzy spells for two days. Can't prove it's related.

      Problem is...we're on private property. The county does not maintain our roads. Never mind that half the county uses them as a shortcut. We have to blade and plow and clear snow and haul gravel at our own expense. At least we get law enforcement officials to respond!

      Delete
  5. I did not heed the warning (like Joeh did) so now I have to ask Stephen for some of his brain bleach.

    Either that, or I'll gouge out my eyes...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You could all learn a thing or two from Joe. Maybe you can make do with a vinegar solution, in case I've caused a shortage of bleach. I can't imagine what acid might be required, if I had included the tighty-whities and dangley bits in my picture.

      Delete
  6. That's a bruise and a half! I agree with Kathy above me here, Hick needs to get that look at. Popping a hamstring doesn't cause bruising like that. Well, never all the times I've popped mine. Something else has gone wrong and Hick needs to see a doctor. Very soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hick is at the doctor, and I'm waiting on an update. It probably doesn't help that he's been sitting on a heating pad. AGAINST MY ADVICE!

      Delete
  7. Wow, that's an impressive bruise - so much better than the one I had to paint on my foot with make up when SD dropped a trailer on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if Hick has secretly stocked a MAKE UP SHACK with auction cosmetics, and has created that bruise for show??? I heartily stand by YOUR enhancement, but don't like to think that Hick thought of such a trick!

      Delete